The formatting would be easier on the eyes if you used paragraphs.
In Chapter one, you had a point where you were writing in 3rd person and then switched inexplicably to 1st person.
Apart from that, you've created an interesting story, and I'm curious to see where it goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading. This is my first story. I did 3rd person as a physical description of the 2 main characters. I think I did better with the paragraphs in later chapters, once I figured out the formatting, but I'm always learning. Thank you for reading and feedback.
Reviewer: bookbutterfly Signed [Report This]Date: April 18 2014 02:18 pm
This is interesting. I'm enjoying it.
Reviewer: Tootall Signed
[Report This]Date: March 29 2014 03:27 pm
OMG!!! I love the main characters, LOL! Kat and Michelle are something else. Though Chris is not better. I love how they are so dynamic, crazy and HELLA kinky, good people. I can't wait for them to be reunited again.
Great job, I hope you post soon :D
Reviewer: sweetlooking218 Signed [Report This]Date: March 22 2014 06:28 am
If you are using Word to write this you need to move the tabs over at the top of the page to lengthen your sentences. This format is almost written as if poetry. It is not a eye massaging read because of the cut off. Just FYI
Author's Response:
Thanks, I've been working on it. Next chapter should look normal. Hope you keep reading.
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]Date: March 06 2014 02:08 pm
Definitely easier to read this time. I love the cast. Kat is some kind special. Chris and Kat are about to meet again. I can't wait because she is going to make him run from from her.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. I promise my next chapter will be even easier to read. I just went in to mess around with the Chamber
formating tools.
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: March 03 2014 02:00 pm
I have to be quite honest the format is completely unacceptable. I'd like to read what you've written but I can't get past looking at a jumbled mess of words. Instead of posting the chapter just to post it, take some time to correct everything in the story edit box. I understand that it can be a pain to manually space out the sentences and paragraphs since I've had to endure it as well with my own stories but we will appreciate you taking your time rather than adding the next installment and have it look like a big mash. Please fix this as soon as possible.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the advice. I did'nt know I could edit once I inserted in the story text. I've spaced it now so hope it's easier for you
to read. I am just learning through trial and error, but I finally figured it out. My next chapter will look like the regular ones.
Sorry and I hope you read it now. Arlen
Reviewer: Dani Anonymous [Report This]Date: March 03 2014 01:21 pm