Moments

“Is it done yet?”

“No not yet, patience Nao. It'll be worth it trust me, nothing taste better then my four cheese jerk chicken pizza. Nothing.”

“Amen to that.” Teru high fived her. “Do you think we made enough? MinSo has a more than a healthy appetite, that guy is always snacking during practice. Even when he thinks no one is looking.”

“Yeah I made two medium sized ones and one large one. I think it should be enough. Plus there's cake and ice cream for dessert.”

“Omo, we haven't had ice cream in so long.” Teru leaned her head back, already imagining her overly generous portion of ice cream melting on top of her warmed piece of chocolate cake. “God, when will they be here, I want dessert already!!”

“You two really have no patience.” The buzzer rang, “Good thing they're early birds.”

She turned down the temperature of the oven, asked Nao and Teru to start getting the plates out and the DVD ready. Before heading quickly to the answer the buzzer. “Hey guys I’ll buzz you in now, its the penthouse flat so just use the elevator.”

“Oh your flat is really nice!! Look at the view.” MinSo stood by the sash window looking out at the night view of the now busy bars and restaurants in a side cobbled street of seven dials, Covent garden. “Wah! And its so spacious.” He sniffed the air excitedly, “Omo, is that pizza I smell and …......chicken?”

Sora bust out laughing at MinSo's childish enthusiasm “Even better pizza topped with chicken. I know you guys love spicy food, so I thought pizza topped with jerked chicken would go down a treat.”

“Jerked chicken? Never had that before, what is it?” HyunShik took a seat on one of the two sofas next to YunHwa.

“It's chicken marinated in a blend of peppers, mixed spices, sugar, cinnamon and of course my mum's secret ingredient.”

YungJi came up behind her and, feeling no restraints in the presence of friends, wrapped his arms possessively around her waist. Positioning himself so that his head perched comfortably on her right shoulder. “Then your mum taught you how to make this?”

“In a way yes. I remember her making this when I was a child, and me watching her intently. But she died before she was able to actually teach me herself. But in her belongings my dad found this notebook. My mum had been writing down recipes in it since she was in college. I don't know how many times I flicked through that notebook over the years until I finally started practising the recipes. I’m glad that I have it though, it's very precious to me. Not even my dad knows my mum's secret ingredients and tips, he wanted it to be something that connected me and mum. I like that I have that connection to my Caribbean heritage.” She leaned her head against his wistfully, forgetting herself in the possibilities. Just for a moment, imaging what could have been.

The timer went off.

“Foods done!” Teru called from the kitchen area.

Everyone gathered on the two sofas, pizza slices in hand snuggled up and ready to watch the film. First on the list 'I'm a cyborg, but that's OK'. It was one of Sora's favourite films, partially because Bi Rain was in it, but mainly because the storyline was just weird genius. In her opinion.

Half way through the film, she felt YungJi kiss her lightly on the head as he pulled her closer. Happily, she let him guide her, so that the side of her body was resting against his.

By the end of it, she felt tears begin to form as they always did, but before they could fall, she felt someone brush them to one side gently.

“Don't cry.” Sora looked up at Yung, and into his concerned eyes.

“I'm such a sap sometimes.” She whispered back, unconsciously snuggling up even closer to him.

“Crying doesn't make you a sap. I just don't like the idea of something upsetting you. Especially when I can't stop it.” He murmured into her ear.

“I used to think I would never find someone who would look after me like Il-soon did for Young-goon, sad right? But I’m glad I did.” She barely whispered the last part, but knew that he could hear it.

“Ok, cake time!!” Teru jumped up from where she had been leaning against the sofa on the floor and went to get the cake from the kitchen area.

“What film do you guys want to watch next?” Nao knelt down next to the TV, already taking out the first DVD. “You guys like action right, we just brought the new fast and furious 5 film. How about that?”

“Yeah that sounds good.” HyunShik said stretching out his arms and legs. “What do you think Sora?”

“Yeah sounds good, I haven't had the time to watch it yet. The reviews—” She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She checked the screen and saw that it was coming up as unknown. Thinking that it was probably a message or call from Mio she quiickly excused herself and went to the hallway to pick it up.

She paused for a second debating on whether to answer it in Japanese or not, but decided to go for English just in case. “Hello?”

“Sora, this i—”

“Dad! I thought you were too busy to call me today.”

She heard him chuckle down the other end of the line. “I always make time to call you remember.”

“Yeah I know, it's just I knew you had an important meeting with some potential business partners in America today. You're planning on expanding the brand over there next year right?”

“Yeah, we're just in the middle of negotiating the terms of the partnership. But enough about business, how are you and Mio doing in London?”

“Good, as always. My schedule is pretty busy right now because of me performing in Doping Panda's concert and the fact that I have yet to meet up with this other debuting group to film the MV for the collaboration that we recorded earlier this month. But Mio is looking out for me so don't worry, OK.”

“Hmm still, don't take too much on. Take some time out for yourself, enjoy being in London. Why don't you and the girls go on a day trip or something. I can arrange it for you if you like.”

“Dad, you don't have to do that. I earn enough to look out for myself, I don't want you spending your money on me when it isn't necessary.”

Shiro frowned, she was always so stubborn when it came to money. She never liked him spending money on her, and had been financing herself ever since she debuted. He didn't like it, only because he felt that she was growing up way to fast, and because he liked to spoil her. She was after all his little girl still. “You really are stubborn aren't you.” He sighed, “Just like your mother. I remember the first time I brought her a present, her expression when she opened the box went from happiness to rejection the moment she realised how much it cost.”

“Really?! Why, what did you get her?” She leaned against the wall.

“I brought her a designer hand bag. I guess I didn’t realise that an expensive gift could feel like a burden too. I was, how would you say it, slightly more spoiled when I was younger. Your mother definitely beat that trait out of me. She taught me to appreciate things more. I doubt I would have turned out to be the person I am today without her.”

Sora smiled, “I guess mum had it hard back then herself. I don't know what I would have done in her place. Not being able to dance because of an injury, kinda makes it hard to be angry at someone......”

“Sweetheart.....”

“I'm fine, I just always miss her I guess.”

“I know, so do I.”

“I'm planning on visiting her grave here soon. I've been thinking about it for ages now, I just seem to keep putting it off.”

“Will you be OK? I could book a flight over so that I can be there with you, you know?”

“Dad, don't be silly we both know you have enough commitments as it is. Plus I kind of want to do this alone, it sounds stupid, but I just want it to be me and mum.”

“I understand, but if you change your mind just phone me I don't care what I have on, you come first and you always will.”

“I know, love you dad.”

“Love you to.”

“I better get going the girls will be wondering what's taking me so long.”

“Hai hai, say hello to them for me. Talk to you again soon. Bye bye.”

“Bye dad.” She hung up the phone. Slowly she let herself slide down so that she was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and head resting on her knees.

She worried about a lot of things, but one thing she worried about the most was her dad. He put on a a brave face around her, but deep down she knew that the accident had taken a toll on him, she felt like he immersed himself in work so much to keep himself from facing what had happened, as if he still had to keep his promise to her. She thought back to when she was just a child, and how she had hurt him by directing her anger at him unfairly. At that age she just didn't understand why things had turned out the way they had.

Why did her mum have to die? Why did she have to leave behind the home that she knew? And why did her dad abandon her in the first place?

If her grandma handn't of explained what had happened then he would have let her continue to be angry at him even though it was unfair.

“Sora-chan, you shouldn’t be angry at your father. Your mothers death was an accident, he couldn't have done anything to stop it.”

Sora sat scrunched up in a ball in the corner of her bedroom. It was her first mothers day since the death of her mum and the move to Japan. Throughout the whole day she had had to deal with the fleeting memories that she could feel slipping away, but when she saw other families out spending time together, it had all gotten too much. She knew that being angry at her dad wouldn’t change things but she just didn't know how else to express all the emotions manifesting inside her.

“Everyone keeps saying that. It was just an 'accident', 'no one could have stopped it'. But if he had just been around from the beginning maybe things wouldn't have turned out like that!!”

Mrs Takata knelt down in front of her. “Then instead of being angry at your otou-san you should be angry at me and your grandfather. It was us that made it so that your dad couldn't live with you.”

She reached over and started to wipe the tears from her face. “I don't understand.” She paused, trying to think of the best way to explain it to a child.

“We realised that he was serious about his marriage to your mother and recognised that he also had a duty to look after you. However we were still adamant that he was taking the wrong path, you see for a long time we had already had someone picked out for him to marry. It would have been very beneficial to everyone. So we gave him an ultimatum. Either divorce Alicia and marry the women we deemed suitable, and we would see that you and Alicia were still well looked after. Or give-up his inheritance and start from the bottom of the family company until you worked your way up the top, and only then would we recognise his marriage to Alicia and see you both as part of the family.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you make him choose between his family and the person he loves?”

“We thought that we were doing the right thing, but now I realise it was just us being stubborn and trying to test his resolve. And for that we're more then sorry. You have the right to be angry, but if you're going to be angry, be angry at us not Shiro.”

“—I don't want to be angry at anyone, not really. I just don't know what to do with all these feelings. They just build up inside me. Sometimes I just feel like I’m drowning. I don't know what to do oba-san.”

“My little sakura,” she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her until the crying stopped.

Even now Sora felt like the child from her past. Lost in a labyrinth of her own emotions. There would always be that part of her that couldn't understand how one moment, one 'accident' could result in her losing so much in life.

But then maybe that was something she would always have to deal with.

“Sora,” she looked up at Nao. “I was just worried you were gone for quite a while. Everything OK?”

“Yeah, just thinking. Ah~my dad said hello by the way.”