Aishiteru

Mum?

She looked down.

Mum?

Panicked tears blurred her vision as her eyes refused to look away from the distorted motionless body.

Please move.

Please.

Don't leave me alone.

“Soraaaa, Soraaa. Earth to monkey! You OK?” Nao waved her hand in front of her face.

“Huh, yeah sorry I’m just a bit tired.”

“I know, take a breather before we continue yeah?”

“Yeah, I will. How many more outfits do I have left to shoot in?”

“Not many just three. And then we just have a press meet with Doping panda for the concert tomorrow.”

“OK cool.”

Sora sat crossed legged in her make shift dressing room. Slowly she drank from her bottle of aloe vera drink hoping that it would help with her current state of fatigue. Lately she had found the frequency of her nightmares increasing. The same moment each time. The moment she realised her mother was dead. It was the most she could ever remember, and it killed her each time.

She hit herself on the head. Now was not the time to think about those things, she had a job to do.

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. The way in which the stylist team could transform a person never ceased to amaze her. They had made her eyes look bigger and more doll like by using fake eyelashes and carefully drawn white and black eye-liner. Her skin seemed even more flawless now that they had mixed some BB cream with her normal shade of foundation. And the unnatural rosy tint on her cheeks added more to the doll look they were going for. She had flat out refused to wear the bright pink lipstick that they had suggested, and instead compromised with a more subtle pink lip gloss that gave her lips a more full and seductive appearance.

Her bangs had been straightened, with the rest of her hair lightly curled with extensions bringing her hair length from being mid back, to down to her waist. It was somewhat like being a life size Rika-chan doll.

Sometimes she felt it was strange. Almost like seeing a stranger in the mirror. But when she thought about it, maybe the idea of being able to be someone else, even for a short while, was why she was so attracted to modelling in the first place.

She sighed inwardly, frustrated by her growing fatigue. It was so unlike her to be in this sort of mood, especially when it came to photo shoots for Baby the Stars Shine Bright. She was no stranger to the brand, they had signed her up a year after she debuted, her campaign had received a lot of positive feedback so they decided to sign her up for a further 4years and had eventually released a line of accessories she had designed earlier this year which had sold out with in the first week in Japan. And now she was shooting an Alice in wonderland -esque theme for their autumn campaign.

She looked down at her current out fit, A beautifully designed gothic lolita dress from their new Alice and the Pirates range. Black with purple accents, she had to admit corsets really did wonders for the figure. Five more minutes before I should head back.

She found herself unconsciously reaching for her phone and dialling his number before she could stop herself.

“Hello yeobo?”

“Hey baby, I just felt like giving you a call.....I—” He cut her off.

“I miss you more.” Sora laughed.

“Since when were you a mind reader huh?” She said sarcastically.

“Didn't you know? I can read the minds of people close to me. That and I was just about to call you myself~ I was serious when I said I miss you more.”

“It's been too long since I’ve seen you, I miss your smile.” She leant against one of the dressing room tables, picturing the way his nose slightly crinkled as he smiled brightly at her.

“What time do you finish tonight? Can I come round?”

“I finish at 8 today, so come round any time from 9 OK?”

“Yeah...........Sora?”

“Yeah?”

“Is everything OK though? It's just that, well, you sound a bit tired. And MinSo was talking to Teru who mentioned that you weren't sleeping too well recently.” Sora could picture him lifting his cap slightly so that he could scratch the back of his head, as he always did when he was nervous. She smiled to herself wistfully. She had been avoiding this conversation......

“I've been getting these nightmares about my mum's accident,” she paused “always the same thing, the same moment. Over and over. It's like I’m stuck, I want to remember more but I just cant. I used to get them a lot when I was younger, I thought I had gotten over it. But I guess not huh.” She let out a long sigh. “It feels like torture, like I’m being punished.”

“Sora,” she could hear the pain in his voice “yeobo, why didn't you tell me all this sooner? You don't have to go through this alone. I know that I haven't gone through what you have but, I can say with confidence that you're not being punished. It's natural for you to have nightmares about something so traumatic, it shows how much you care for your mother, and how much the loss of her has affected you. Araso?”

“Wakarimashita.” She looked at the clock opposite her. “I better get going, I have this photo-shoot to finish.”

“Ok.” He hesitated. “Sarengheyo.” He said the last part, not for a reply, but just so that she would know how he felt.

Sora paused, he had said the last part so softly that she couldn't pick up what he said, and didn't have the chance to ask as he had already hung up the phone.

She put the phone to one side, she felt better. Like some of the weight she had been carrying around had been lifted off. She wondered why she hadn't just call him earlier. She had to get herself used to having someone caring about her, the way Yung did. She took one last look in the mirror and then headed back on set with a more refreshed attitude.

* * *

“God I’m exhausted, seriously, the press meet went on for what felt like forever. I mean do they really need that many photos?!”

“Your telling me, answering questions in both English and Japanese, tires a girl out you know.” They both headed towards the breakfast bar, so that they could eat the sushi take-out they had gotten. “Has Teru messaged you yet?”

“Yeah she said YungJi is giving her a lift, they should be here in like half an hour, they were filming on location today. It seems like they got a lot of recording done though. You guys finished all of the beginning scenes yesterday, so that leaves the dream sequence in the middle and then the ending when you ride off on a motorbike right?”

“Yep. So far pretty much everything has been going according to the schedule.” She yawned. “I might go take a quick nap before they come.”

“That sounds like a good idea, I have to update my blog, I’ve been neglecting it lately.”

Once she finished eating she headed to her room and changed in to an old New York Yankees shirt that her dad had brought back for her from one of his business trips when she was younger, and a pair of dark grey sweatpants. She set an extra alarm on her phone so that she'd wake up in about 15 minutes and then flung herself under the covers and in to her bed, wrapped her arms around her Domo doll and eventually fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

YungJi knocked on Sora's door before quietly opening it. He smiled to himself, she was still asleep. He made his way from one side of her room to her bed, making sure not to disturb any of her things. He sat, careful not to wake her, on top of the covers on the edge of her bed, and reached out for her, not realising just how much he had been craving the feel of her skin.

Mum?

She looked down.

Mum?

He frowned in concern as she began to mumble words, and move around in distress.

Panicked tears blurred her vision as her eyes refused to look away from the distorted motionless body.

He reached out and began stroking her hair soothingly, hoping to ease her out of her nightmare.

Please move.

Please........

“Don't leave me alone.” Those words that in reality, came out as merely a whisper, cried out in her mind. And resonated deep in her heart. She opened her eyes suddenly, forcing herself to wake up.

“It's OK, I’m here......” YungJi continued to stroke her hair rhythmically. “I’m here, and I promise I won't ever willingly leave you, not ever.” Her erratic breathing slowly calmed at the sound of his voice.

“Yung?” Sora blinked several times, as if she might finally be dreaming. Then she remembered that he was meant to be there. She turned to her bedside clock, “I overslept, sorry.”

“Don't be, you're tired. Go back to bed, sleep, please.”

She shifted so that she was facing him completely, propping herself up with her elbow. “I don't want to sleep any more,” she whispered knowing that she sounded childish “now that your here I'd much rather be awake and happy then asleep and afraid. I’ve missed you.”

He opened his arms out for her, “I've missed you more.” She nestled into his chest, resting her head so that she could her the comforting steady beat of his heart. She closed her eyes, savouring the feeling of security that she got from the warmth of his arms wrapped around her.

“How about we compromise?” She felt the warmth of his breath on her eyelids.

“Compromise?” She murmured.

“How about I sing for you, my mum always said that singing kept bad dreams away.” She nodded her head sleepily, no matter how much she wished it not to be true, she was tired. “As long as you stay.”

YungJi began to sing softly, songs and lullabys that his mother used to lovingly sing to him. He remembered those nights when he was convinced that there was a monster under his bed. The times she looked after him when he was ill. When he became discouraged and upset during his trainee years. The memories made him smile, he loved his parents very much, but there would forever be a soft spot in his heart especially for his mother.

A feeling of sadness washed over him, he knew that Sora had few memories of her mother. He hated that she would never get to experience the things other people would.

He kept on singing, until he was sure that she was fast asleep. When he was, he eased off his trainers and positioned himself more comfortably on the bed. He thought it would be best if he stayed on top of the covers, he didn't want to disrespect anyone or cause any misunderstandings.

Within minuets the wave of exhaustion that he had been holding back consumed him, and he was fast asleep, his arm still wrapped protectively around Sora. Shielding her from the bad dreams.