13 Looking in the mirror  ........part 1

>> Sora-chan don't cry, I’m here for you.<<

“Sora!”

“huh?”

“Put your phone away, come on, you already came late. I know you had your reasons, but now you need to focus the concert is tonight you know.”

“I know, sorry, just got some random text....maybe Nao changed her phone again and forgot to tell me wouldn’t be the first time.” She sighed and put her phone away in her gym bag, and returned to the rehearsals.

*

“Nervous?”

“Yutaka senpai, umm just a bit.”

“Well you have no reason to be, rehearsals went really well, you'll be fine.”

“Arigato senpai.”

“No problem, listen I know you went to see your mum today. I never met her but, I’m sure she'd be really proud, I mean it.”

“Thank you, that means a lot. It really does, you, Taro and Hayato have always looked out for me, I’m glad I can be part of this concert, standing on the same stage as you three.”

“Five minuets and we're starting, Doping Panda need to get ready to go on stage now.”

“Okay on my way. See you on stage Sora.”

“Um.”

*

I took a deep breath as I stepped onto the stage. That feeling, excitement, energy, the feeling of being alive. If felt more then good, it felt long overdue. I felt like myself again, it had been so long.

“Mina-san thank you so much for supporting my senpais concert here in London my home town!! As a special thank you I will be performing two songs the first is the song I debuted with in Japan it's called Broken Mirrors.

This song means so much to me, it talks about all those times I was put down and rejected because no one would give me a chance, everyone just judged me by face value. Sometimes I would look in the mirror and no longer be able to see who I really was. When I wrote this song I wanted to give strength to anyone who has ever felt the same, to be able to break past those negative emotions and embrace themselves for themselves and not for what people try to tell them they are.

The second song is called Glass heart, I believe this song reflects the fragility that exists in all of us, even those who think that they are made of steel, me included. It is those times, when we realise our fragility that we learn who we really are. And we become stronger because of it.” I thought about how much I had changed in just the past couple of weeks, I felt proud of myself for once. This is what growing up really was, learning who you are, and becoming who you want to be.

I let the music embrace me.

*

“Well done.”

“Congratulations!”

“The concert was a real success, I hope we can work together again in the future, Japanese and Korean music is getting a lot more attention in western markets now. And we would like to be the driving force behind it.” I shook hands with the music executive.

“Thank you, I look forward to working with you in the future.”

She felt a hand rest on my shoulder as a familiar voice caught her attention. “Congratulations Sora, you looked amazing out there.”

Sora turned around, and stood rooted to the spot. “Kouta? What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to surprise you. Can we go somewhere quieter so we can talk?” She nodded her head slowly.

“Look, I know it's a bit of a shock me turning up here, considering how things ended with us, but I promised didn't I?” Sora stood silent, maybe a couple of days ago she would have flinched at the mention of their breakup but not any more. She had moved on now. “A promise is a promise right?”

He was right, it had been so long ago that they had made that promise with each other. Both of them had been trainees in different companies when they had met. A year into the relationship things had gotten serious between them, it was around that time Kouta had made his debut in his first drama. Even though she had had to sneak out of practice, she had made sure to wish him luck on set. It was then that he promised no matter what he would be there to wish her luck when she finally gained enough popularity to perform on stage in London, he knew that was her dream.

“Thank you.” She meant it, it meant a lot to her that he had at the very least kept that promise to her.

“It's the least I could do.” He took her hand, “The way things ended, you wouldn't except my calls—”

She pulled her hand away, and saw the look of regret in his face “I forgive you I really do, but I can't forget Kouta. You abandoned me. Accused me of being the person who leaked our relationship to the press, as if I would have ever betrayed you. When the media attacked me, you stayed silent. When the anti fan groups spread all those rumours online, hacking into my computer, sharing our memories with everyone. You weren't there to hold my hand. You believed everyone else but not me. You even started dating your co worker without even breaking up with me face to face. It wasn’t until my dad had to step in and clear the mess up, finding the culprit who had talked to the press, your then new girlfriend, and suing her for damages, that you suddenly wanted forgiveness. That's not what real love is. You destroyed any chance of that kind of love, after three years you turned your back on me.” And here they stood a year later.

“I know I did.” He looked into her eyes, searching for any hint of the feelings she once had for him, “I'm sorry”, but there weren't any there. He was too late.

“I'm sorry too, sorry that it took you so long to say that.” She took a deep breath, “I hope you're able to find happiness again Kouta, because I’ve found mine.” She thought about YungJi and couldn't wait to get home, knowing it meant seeing him.

Kouta couldn't fail to miss the look in her eyes, and felt a pang of jealous. Once upon a time she had looked at him with that expression. “Whose the lucky guy?”

She looked startled for a second, he could still read her like an open book apparently, “Hmm just someone very special to me now, his name is Yung.” She couldn't stop a smile forming on her face.

“I'm glad you're happy you know, I really am. Maybe we can try to be friends again?”

“That would be nice. ”

“I hope he doesn't screw up like I did.” He joked.

“I know he won't.” She smiled back and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

“I guess this is goodbye for now then.” He held out his hand for her to shake, and was surprised when she hugged him warmly.

“Goodbye Kouta.” He went to walk out of the dressing room door. “Ah Kouta! Good luck with your latest drama, I’m sure it will do very well.”

“Thank you.” Sora watched as he closed the door behind him, a part of her wished he had done this a year ago, so that she did not have to suffer like she had, but then she wouldn't have met Yung. In the end she felt that things just had a way of working out.

As Kouta walked down the corridor he saw a familiar face, Mio. The truth was, he was a bit afraid of her, last time they had been face to face was a year ago when she had turned up at his apartment and slapped him in anger at what he had put her cousin through. But he felt like he should stop being cowardly, as he went to approach her he saw her talking to a guy and overheard their conversation.

“Yung, what are doing here? I thought you guys had activities scheduled till late?”

“Yeah we did, but I couldn't miss this chance to see Sora live, after working with her I’ve become a big fan.”

“Thats nice to hear, I don't suppose you've got the email address for the manager in charge of tomorrows video shoot.”

“Yeah hold on.” he took out his phone, “I'll message it to you.”

“Thank you.” Something caught her eye. “Nice phone charm.”

“Ah” she noticed his slight blush “thanks. I’m just going to find Sora now.”

“Okay see you later.” Mio, was a bright person so it didn't take her long to connect the image of his phone charm with Sora's. Something was up. Kouta approached her.

“Kouta?” Now this really was a surprise. “What are you doing here?” Kouta could hear the slight edge to her voice, yep she as still angry.

“I just came to talk to Sora,” she gave him a disapproving look “don't worry I just came to apologise not to cause any more trouble. I just wanted to apologise to you to.”

She looked him up and down, letting him sweat a bit before answering, “apology accepted.”

“I'm glad that she's found someone. Maybe I can be as happy as she is again too.” Mio frowned mentally.

“Yeah Yung is a nice guy.” She kept a smile on her face.

“I'm sure he is.” This was the confirmation she needed. “Anyways I hope next time we meet it will be as friends. I better get going, bye Mio.”

“Bye-bye Kouta.”

Mio was left with one thought: her and Sora needed to have words.