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Characters
Cameron
Lenny
Monica
Chapter one:
She wasn't use to things being out of control. She liked order, simplicity and cleaned up messes but this moment was beyond her reach and the effects weighed upon her, almost suffocating her in denial. She barely knew him, but she loved him, she wanted to yell at him, even though he assured and calmed her, she had a deeper feeling he was way too confident over such a thing.
Find another way. Her mind yelled, but his words continued to ring inside her head he had told her he didn't have time
"Find another way"
She whispered to him in anger, he shook his head a small smile crossed his lips.
Silly little naïve girl sheltered from the cruelty of the world. She was young but so was he.
He didn't feel young; he had seen and done too much to be so young. He looked at her, she was so innocent, and so much faith consumed her, if only she had known the truth...the one he hid from her, he didn't tell her how bad it was. He had kept to himself the tiny detail.
There are always miracles
Her eyes sparkled with hope. He loved it. He hated it. She was beautiful, she was different from the others; she wasn't blonde or even white he loved how her caramel skin looked next to his paleness. And he loved it about her. So innocent it frightened him. He couldn't tell her the whole story. He just couldn't there wasn’t integrity in telling a lie that fate wouldn’t allow to happen.
He wanted to hold her, hug her and tell her everything was ok, but both of them knew the honest to god truth. He fought himself as he leaned against her his warm lips meeting the coolness of her forehead. She was so pretty, he could fall in love her. She could his last and final and he could die happy because at some point in ill-fated life he had her. He had a chance to call her his, just for a moment he wanted to wonder what it was like to be loved by her.
He knew she watched him with eager hopeful eyes. He took a swig from the beer, she was beautiful as she watched him he smiled as she stood with her arms crossed she looked cold. He frowned he hated looking at her discomfort. "There's a way" her eyes brighten "I know there is one." He shook his head. Naïve girl with so much hope in the world, there was nothing he wanted to shout.
Nothing.
"My mom's a nurse there is an always a loophole, a miracle something," she kneeled in front of him, to her he was beautiful, his high cheekbones, his blonde hair, his freckled skin, his pale blonde hair. He had so much to experience and here he was giving up.
She didn't want this, she wanted her as his, but fate was sick it was cruel. Some joke she didn't understand. She wanted to cry, beg, and scream, she wanted everything to be ok again. Just like it was the day before perfect.
He smiled once again. Standing up he stepped around her he stepped towards the window that took up the entire wall. The city underneath him looked so large the people so small, so consumed in their own thoughts. He frowned there was a girl here, she was beautiful, she was naïve, she was smart, full of hope. There was a boy here who had given up, dark thoughts constantly consuming him. He thought of suicide before she walked in his life with a warm smile and pretty brown eyes. He thought of the day they met. It was a party her long hair in a ponytail, she was the only girl there without a skintight dress on.
Her dress was white, it fluttered around her body like she was angel, she was tall but not too tall and she was thick with curves that made grown men stare, but she was so young so pure, so trusting her beauty made him almost forget he had a girlfriend.
Monica.
He fell for Monica because she knew what she wanted in life. She wasn't afraid to be a slut or be called one. She was fierce, strong and cunning, but the moment his eyes rested on this girl he forgot who the cunning Monica was.
He observed her; he watched her, he sipped beer with his friends they laughed while he smiled his eyes trailing her as she would float around the party with the smile of a heartbreaker and a heart full of gold. The girls loved her with twinges of envy, and the boys sighed wishing she would give them just a small chance, but no way, that night she wasn't looking for love.
All she wanted was a friend; they found one in each other. When he had found the balls to approach her, her smile made his heart skip a beat.
So pretty, he thought so gentle she talked with a voice as smooth as honey. "Lenny" she replied to his question her large eyes blinking "My name is Lenny."
He smiled at her with his heartbreaker smile. "Cameron,” he had replied with a firm shake of her hand. He felt like he had shaken his heart away. Cunning Monica who?
“The pretty ones are always trouble, but sweet pretty one's are lethal they know how to steal your heart and run.” His mother's words remained in his head that night as he watched her.
He was willing to cross the fire and take the risk; he was willing to do it all. Just so he could fall in love with her.
After a small talk and light flirting, he had her number and the next day she was in his car giggling her love for frank Sinatra and old British rock charming him.
She smiled as her long black hair was being whipped behind her from the wind in the rolled down windows. That day he felt like his heart almost explode, was this love? He remembered thinking, if this was love, he felt as if he had just found his heaven on hell.
She wanted to be a writer. She loved the era of Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. She was a girl of tragedies masked with innocence. So pure she was, so pure that he felt frightened he would taint her with his
Within a month he was her best friend. All his forbidden secrets had become hers.
She accepted them without judgment. Under the stars she giggled at the crazy things he did in the past, during rainy days when she was wrapped up in pretty cardigan and silky slips they shared crazy stories. She was the first girl who he didn't want to fuck and run. He was infatuated with her stories, her smile, the small dimples that filled her smooth unblemished cheeks and her laugh. Everything about her interested him; he loved the way she smiled when she saw him.
After two months Monica slipped his mind, He had to end things. He needed to be set free.
He remembered Monica's words.
"Lenny!?" she smiled with an evil grin plastered on her face.
"She's so innocent; she wouldn't want a boy like you, once she finds out the truth. You'll be back right here at my feet, begging." She pointed to her feet "Lenny won't love you... she feels sorry for you that are why she will stay around.”
He had a past and he was aware of it, but Lenny would understand Lenny would love him. Monica was wrong.
Monica was always wrong.
The day Monica walked away from him. He told Lenny everything.
She looked at him with wide eyes and nodded every once in a while. She sipped coffee as he told her, his past, the drugs, the rehab and the fights. After he was done she remained silent she sipped from her mug and gave him a small smile. The emptiness he hadn't felt since he had met her sank into his heart. His angel didn't love him.
For a moment he thought Monica was right, but Lenny didn't walk away she reached across the table and put her caramel tone flesh against his she smiled "thank you for trusting me" he smiled he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. Monica was wrong, she was always wrong.
And now, here she was on his floor crumbling, his Lenny so tiny compared to him and so fragile. He wished there was something, some kind of hope, faith but he knew there was nothing, and no matter how hard they tried to, forget they both knew that.
He looked away from the city, of New York and frowned, he would miss this place. He would watch it from hell, there was no point in pretending, he was destined for hell. Lenny stood up and walked towards him and he opened his arms and allowed her to slip in. She was tiny compared to him, her head rested on his chest, his hands through her hair, he felt the sobs.
"Please Cameron" she whispered "please." he frowned.
Nothing can be done angel.
He didn't say anything as he silently stroked her hair. His baby angel he used to joke, he usually earned a mock angry look from her, a hit on his arm, causing him he swirl her around until she giggled and begged to be put down. He thought how much he would miss that.
He felt her tears on his shirt. He turned his head, holding her tighter her arms tightly secured around his waist. He rested his head on top of hers, frowning. The concrete jungle below them moved swiftly people were going around living there lived, no one paused for this sad moment; there were lives to be lives and memories to be made.
He put his nose against her hair inhaling her sweet scent as his closed his eyes, and slowly opening, them only to see his vision blocked by tears. He placed a small kiss on the top of her head.
A feeling of sadness overwhelming him, he would never get to see their future, but for this one small moment he just wanted to hold her.
There was no miracle; there was nothing he could do.