Chapter 9

"You've never had an orgasm? Like, never? At 26?"

"Never." I'm not sure how we got to that conversation and I'm not sure how I divulged it to someone I just started talking to, then when I glanced at the tall drink in front of me, I knew how. Alcohol.

"What is wrong with your life?!?!" Savannah asked in disbelief. She even seemed distraught by the mere thought.

I shrugged and sipped on my Long Island. I mentally professed that this would be my last one. I don't even think I could finish it.

It was meant to be for Henry. After talking a bit with Savannah I decided to go back and find Henry so that he wouldn't have to worry about my whereabouts. Only when I tried to go find him, he was no longer in the same spot. I realized then that at least standing at the bar I felt secure as long as I could see him from my vantage but now I felt kind of vulnerable and it was all my fault. When I checked my phone I saw that he'd texted me three times but I hadn't even noticed it, which was surprising because my phone was on vibrate and was in my pant pockets.

Henry: Hey, don’t walk away like that again. Hurry back, will you? I don't need a drink either

A few minutes later he sent: K. Getting worried. Where are you?

And a while later he sent.

Henry: Shouldn't have let you walk away. I'm worried like hell now.

Feeling horrible for causing him worry, I responded.

Valerie: I's sorRy Hen. At bar. Comin

Texting was a chore and a half because I was clearly very inebriated. I'd never gotten a double shot anything and they were hitting me hard. His response text came back instantaneously.

Henry: No. Stay. I'll come. There are three bars. Which one are you at?

I looked around blearily and could only describe it as the one next to the VIP section.

Henry: Coming. Don't move

"Who was that?" Savannah asked invasively. She had to be on her ninth drink. Some guy was standing behind her who I'm sure wasn't her boyfriend.

Thankfully I didn't have to answer cause the guy spun her around to grind against her front. I'd been propositioned a couple of times, but my average clothes seemed to discourage them and to be honest I preferred it that way. I'd wasted an entire night I could have spent with Henry by avoiding him because of those stupid, pitiful insecurities.

I was laying my head in my hands, wondering why I'd acted so stupidly. Why did I leave his side especially when I didn't even know this place? Why always question my decisions after fucking making them every single time I did something dumb? It's no wonder  Ella was so tired of me. I was tired of myself and I was tired of telling myself that I had to change.

I was bumped into and soon heard Savannah start on about her boyfriend Mark.

With my throbbing head in my hands and my elbows on the bar counter, I was barely following her until I suddenly felt warm arms snaking around my waist along with the deep voice that always made me lost my sanity.

"Might I know why you never came back to me?"

I turned my heavy head to my side and saw Henry glancing down at me with relief, but also a frown he was trying hard to keep off. I suddenly had a strong urge to kiss him.

I smiled weakly at him. "Walker…"

"Hey Henry!" Savannah's voice pierced behind me and I winced.

Henry's frown turned to a straight, unimpressed line, the light in his eyes dying out as he looked at her. 

"I see who you've been hanging out with…" he murmured tonelessly, his hold on me more firm as he drew me closer to him.

"She's fucking awesome by the way." Savannah patted my back. "I like her."

"How much did you give her to drink?" The slight reproach in Henry's tone was something I'd never heard. His behavior was also very guarded. I'd not seen him treat anyone like that.

"How much did I give her?" Savannah was clearly taken aback by his behavior which I'm sure not many people got. "You mean how much did she take? She's a grown woman Henry." Savannah huffed. I dizzily watched her turn away from him, snaking through the crowd.

I wondered what her caustic reaction was about. Something told me there was a little more to their friendship than what I was seeing on the surface. While we were at the bar discussing a plethora of subjects, Savannah told me how she met Henry--through her brother. They'd been childhood friends both with an interest in music, and Savannah said she was always the girl in the background that had a crush on him but was never taken seriously until she was much older. By seriously, she meant a short 'hook up' stint they had.

It made me a bit conflicted. She professed she had no problem with me hooking up with Henry, certain it would be a short fling that would fizzle out before next week began, so she had no problem telling me this information. Still, I began to feel strange being the one she was telling, but with both of us having our guards down, there was barely a filter in our discussion. Except for how irritable she became when I asked about her brother.

I had a strong feeling that Savannah still had feelings for Henry, but I guess that went without saying.

I looked from the crowd at Henry who was busily looking at his phone and felt my nipples hardening at his concentrated expression. It never failed to get me hot and bothered. But more importantly, I felt like I'd ruined the night. How many things had I ruined around him, would apologizing even mean anything at this point?

Constant apologies were a norm in my life. When you grew up constantly being told what you were always doing wrong, what else were you supposed to do?

"I'm sorry, Henry. Are you mad at me?" I felt pitiful even as I asked. Annoyed with myself. I don't even know why he kept giving me chances at this point.

"What?" Henry asked distractedly, almost scowling at his phone. Whoever he was texting obviously had him in a bad mood.

"I said I was sorry if I pissed you off…" I repeated and when he stashed his phone away, he focused on me like I was the only one in the room. It made me blush and nearly attempt to hide under the stool I was sitting on. Sometimes I didn't think I could handle him.

He searched my face and I lowered my gaze from his, feeling bad over my behavior. I heard him sighing as he spoke, his voice without the hard edge he had when talking to Savannah. 

"No. Just don't leave like that again. I shouldn’t have let you leave." He trapped my chin and tilted my head back, forcing my eyes on him. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm.." I nodded and Henry's eyes dropped to my lips and lingered. A flurry of desire went through me as I knew what crossed his mind.

"Are you?" I asked, in disbelief over how breathless he could quickly get me.

He lowered his head as he murmured. "I'm fine. I think we should leave now."

My glazed over eyes drifted closed as I got ready for the kiss.

"Chase!!!"

Out of the blue, Henry staggered forward but quickly placed a cautious hand on the bar, catching himself before he could topple over me. His eyes were wide in shock as an arm curled around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist from behind.

When the intruder finally hopped back and Henry straightened to look over his shoulder, I saw that it was his brother, Ben.

As startled as he was, Henry couldn't conceal the joy lighting up his eyes as his brother hauled himself at him for a hug. He was probably an inch shorter than Henry, I noted as the two hugged.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd be here today?" There was slight irritation lacing Henry's voice, but it couldn't override the joy he obviously felt over seeing family.

"Didn't know you'd be here either, bro," Ben quipped and I was once again struck by how identical they were.

"What are you doing here? Don't you guys have a show early morning?"

I enjoyed seeing Henry's 'no-nonsense' expression that most protective older brothers had over their younger siblings.

"Don't start with me." Ben covered his unworried lopsided grin bringing the long beer can to his mouth. After a sound gulp, he looped an arm over Henry's shoulder, looking up at him adoringly. "Good to see you though, man. I didn't think you'd be here early."

Henry's features softened and he fought a smile. The devotion for his brother was clear as he mirrored his admiration.

"It was last minute." Henry explained and reached for me but was cut off.

"Still coming to the show?" Ben's blue eyes were so hopeful and although they looked like twins I truly saw the youth in him compared to Henry.

"Of course." He looked in my direction. "I'd like you to meet Valerie."

Ben's eyes sought mine and his lazy smirk widened as he held his hand out to me. "Hello Val Heroine."

Ben's eyes were swimming. He was as drunk as a skunk. Henry's eyes widened and I could tell he was embarrassed as he shoved him on his shoulder but had to catch him right after because he was off balance. 

"Really, Ben?" he exclaimed disapprovingly.

At my laugh, Henry's defensiveness lowered a tad, but he still shook his head and rolled his eyes at his brother.

"You sound the same. It's creepy as hell," I tactlessly said, still trying my hardest to hold my head up.

"We get that a lot," they said in unison and while Ben laughed, Henry just shook his head with a smile.

"She's so fucking fit," Ben said while looking behind me, already having lost interest in whoever I was. It came to my attention that his brother was the only person he'd bothered to introduce me to. I didn't know how to read that.

I looked over my shoulder to see who Ben was talking about, not particularly sure what 'fit' meant, but by the hungry look in his eyes I'm sure it was something good. When I saw he was talking about Savannah, I wasn't surprised because she was a stunner.

Henry moved his lips to his brother's ear and I couldn't hear what he said, but his features were slightly hardened when he pulled back.

"You don't trust someone you grew up with?" Ben asked loudly, the wideness of his eyes showing me that he was still very wet behind the ears about many social situations in this town. Like me.

Henry sighed and shook his head impatiently at his brother's incapability to be discreet. It seemed this was a conversation he didn't want to have around me but Henry went on somberly as if realizing there was really no use since Ben was in a no-holds-barred phase of drinking. 

Henry could have brought it up another time but it seemed imperative enough for him to bring it up now at the risk of me hearing.

"She's changed," he said simply.

Ben rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Everyone who comes to Hollywood changes."

"And you better not," Henry admonished in a castigating tone that made Ben pause in all his intoxication.

"Do we have to have this conversation here? Now?" Ben cringed, taking another swig of beer. "I'm just having fun for Pete's sake."

Henry eyed the beer can disdainfully, then up at his brother critically before sighing with resignation.

"Yeah well. Watch out. You're hammered enough as it is," Henry said grimly.

Clearly happy that Henry was finally off his back, Ben gave him a parting pat on the back. Suddenly remembering my presence, his eyes swung my way and he grinned, bright eyed. "Well Valerie with no other title, my friends are calling. Nice to meet you."

I ignored the perturbed look Henry shot him and smiled. "Nice to meet you too--"

"Oh my god!! Could you two take a picture with us?!?"

My view of the guys was obscured by four young women who bulldozed them, unable to keep still. One of them started to cry profusely in front of Ben, who was soaking it all up. He wore an empathizing expression  as he rounded her up into a hug while she gushed to him. Ben handled it like a pro.

On the other hand, Henry tried to console the girl too but was being badgered by the others. He seemed stuck in a rut trying to placate the other girls who gushed about how he was the hottest older brother on earth, all while trying to catch my attention.

I waved him off with an assuring smile while mouthing. "Go on. It's okay."

It's not like he had a choice, Ben pulled him in for the picture and he plastered a smile on his face as he accommodated them. The only problem is they attracted more fans of Ben who wanted pictures with both of them. The young women were so eager to get their picture they blocked me from them, and that's when Savannah dragged me from my chair.

"Hey, let's go have fun with some ice," Savannah said in hushed tones. I couldn't truly understand what she was saying, she'd grabbed me off the stool so fast it made my head spin and I had to lean against her because I nearly fell.

"Ice? What's that?" I stumbled over my unsteady feet, nearly knocking both Savannah and I down. My question was so funny and amusing to her she couldn't stop laughing.

"You crack me up, Val."

"Wait, Savannah, hold on. I can't leave Henry--"

"Hey."

A stronger hold on my other wrist stopped me and I turned to find Henry. He gently gathered me up against him, and the leery look he gave Savannah earlier back.

"We're leaving," he told her tersely and her eyes darted to his hand over mine. The jealousy that hit her features surprised me, mirroring the look she had when she walked in on us kissing at Margaret's. I started to feel extremely dumb for thinking we could just talk normally in a friendly manner.

"Who did you come with?" Henry asked her next, his voice a bit relaxed, but that made Savannah react like a hissing cat.

"Like you fucking care." Her eyes dropped to me. "Don't forget, Valerie. Hollywood. Have fun while it lasts."

I watched in confusion as Savannah got swallowed by the crowd as she left us.

"What the hell does that mean?" Henry asked at her departing figure. I looked up at him, suddenly very weary and confused. When he felt my gaze he looked down at me, his features softening into a frown.

"I'm sorry."

I didn’t know what he was sorry for. I'm the one who ran off like a chicken without a head when I saw his beautiful ex. With my defenses down though I didn't feel the need to escape him when I thought of her. Instinct made my hands lock at his nape like I had a right to do so. Like he was mine to do so.

"Why?" My head lolled back as I gazed up at him with eyes probably glazed over from inebriation, enjoying his supreme height over mine.

His eyes became less contrite at my openness and his arms snaked around my waist. "About tonight. I didn't know my brother would be here."

"He's cuter than you," I giggled for no reason and Henry's eyes narrowed though the dimple on his left cheek deepened as he broke into a genuine smile. My heart fluttered. I think I lived for that dimple.

"Why are you so damn cute, Valerie?" there was a bit of frustration in his voice as he hungrily eyed my lips.

"Your brother is in a boy band," I said, idly admiring his neck. Henry nodded.

"His fans are…dedicated. Wherever he goes, they follow. It wasn't meant to be like this, I swear."

He was so cute when he was apologizing. I smiled as I snuggled closer to him. By the way his eyes lit up he could tell I was enjoying this very much. I was just trying to catch up on things I felt I'd missed out on, like having your arms around a guy's neck like he was yours. I'd just pretend for now that he was.

"What was it meant to be like?" I asked.

"More fun. You ready to leave?" he asked next, looking a bit preoccupied himself.

"Nope.  I haven't spent time with you here."

"We can do that elsewhere."

I playfully tried to push him away from me.

"Why, hiding me from the other titleless women of yours?" I teased, then put my hand over my mouth. Obviously Ben's words still stuck with me.

I thought he would be put off by my words but his eyes only widened in surprise, then mild amusement. He smirked and moved towards me, only for me to press my palm against his chest as I backed up.

"I have to go pee," I told him as I lazily turned my head back and forth hoping I'd find it.

"Come on."

Henry guided me to the restroom, obviously knowledgeable about this place. The restrooms were a sight, with friends helping each other walk. I walked by a stall where I was pretty sure they were sniffing cocaine. I'd never been faced with anything like this and hurried out when I was done. I was relieved when I found Henry waiting outside, a girl already trying to talk to him.

He hadn't noticed me coming out, so I just stop there waiting with my hands docilely behind me. He looked like he was politely listening to what the woman had to say as she prattled probably the same sentiments those women were earlier. He finally looked towards the female restrooms as though waiting for me to come out, and when he saw me, he excused himself from the woman who didn't look too pleased about him leaving her. When he started for me, I playfully took a step back, making Henry pause. Then a slow smirk lifted the left side of his lips and a spark lit his eyes as he began to pursue me. I kept backing up until there was no room behind me. When I tried to sidestep to my escape, Henry blocked me, both hands stamped on either wall. I was literally cornered, and he loomed over me while I shrank beneath him. I was throbbing and aching all over. I wanted him. Badly. More than I'd ever wanted anyone else.

"Now where were you running to?"  he asked, his eyes hotly looking over me. He made me feel so shy I lifted the collar of my t-shirt up till my nose to conceal my blushing cheeks. Henry chortled softly, then leaned down, making my heart race. Heavily lidded, he pressed his lips against mine. The sensation the fabric gave me when he brushed his lips against mine made me shudder and squirm.

I didn't know what to expect when Henry lifted his lips, brushing them at the tip of my nose. He then used his teeth to peel off the collar from covering my face, gently tugging it down, lowering his neck with the cloth until his lips were right at my collar bone. I closed my eyes, stiffening as his tongue danced around the earlier hickey he gave me. He kissed his way up my neck, alternating to one side of my neck with each kiss, rising till he kissed the lips he'd wanted to reveal so much.

With a last ounce of my strength, only because I knew I couldn't handle it, I shook my head, marring the attempt of his nibbling lips. "Mm. Mm."

"Why not?" Henry asked in an easy-going manner, a small smirk on his lips.

"What do you see me as?" I found myself asking stupidly and his eyebrows lifted, creasing his brow.

"What?" Henry asked in genuine surprise and I looked to my side avoidantly.

I closed my eyes and started to move my head from side to side and snap my fingers merrily when a Ciara song came on. "This is my song. My bodyyy is your partyyyy."

"How many pints have you had, Valerie?" Henry asked instead. I didn't answer him and continued to dance in my own little world. I suddenly felt a pair of warm lips on my ear and a deep voice that made me jump.

"Valerie..." the ticklish sensation made me laugh and I opened my eyes to find his eyes full of humor over how I was behaving.

"What?"

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked a bit more seriously even though it was obviously hard for him not to let the lust in his eyes burn into me. That very lust made me as hot as it made me circumspect. So I was the girl of the week, as Savannah had said. I shouldn't have taken her words as gospel but for some reason looking at Henry in his beautiful, long-lashed eyes made me wonder.

"Am I a fucking…like rebound?" I held my heavy head in my other hand and continued distressfully, aware but not really careful about the words I was spewing. "Or like a rag doll? I don't know…I don't care. Just want to know…I don't want to be used again. I want apples. Apple pie. I haven't had dessert in a while, have you?"

Henry was gnawing his lip and rested his forearm right above my head against the wall. "You're seriously fucked right now"

"Not yet."

Henry lifted his eyebrows, obviously surprised by my uncharacteristic speech. He released his smirking bottom lip and watched me with eyes that danced in fascination. Then his expression turned into one of deliberation. He did that a lot and I was getting used to it.

Was he trying to figure me out? I wasn't used to that, except for this one time. It made me close my eyes and try to get lost in the music because I didn't want to let the negative thoughts destroy what I thought of Henry. I was mouthing the words imagining that I was sexy enough to sing them to Henry, and I helplessly reopened my eyes, hoping those eyes of intrigue were still watching me: they were.

Coming to his own private conclusion, Henry smirked, shaking his head with his head bowed.

"Sweet, sweet, Valerie, don't say things like that to me." His hands found my waist as he stepped closer to me, his touch making me suck my breath even in my influenced state. Henry's green eyes singed into mine as he went on.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

A trickle of anticipation and trepidation went through me and I stopped dancing. He'd reclaimed his turf once again, reducing me to a pile of nerves that didn't know how to coordinate themselves around him. I needed some ground. I didn't like how he made me feel like I was losing to him, falling weak to his whims.

It wasn't really hard to do. With that irresistible look in his eyes, and with my guard lowered to extreme unthreatening levels, I couldn't hide how much I wanted Henry. In that moment I indulged myself in his eyes that sparkled with a want and fire that seemed ready to scorch my clothes off, bounteous hair in need of touching, pouty lip asking for a kissing, and exposed neck that screamed for a touching and just pretended that all those belonged to me.

Moreso the poignant charisma, that thing about Henry Walkers that kept you wanting more; I pretended that it was all mine.

"I'm being honest." I teasingly coiled a couple strands around my finger eying him in a seductive manner I hadn't freely done with anyone but one person in my life ever, mostly only in my fantasies.

I said to him something I could only say in my dreams. "I haven't been fucked. I want to be fucked." I paused then added fearlessly. "By you."

The furnace in Henry's eyes grew, his jaw flexing sporadically. His hands smoothing down to my hips and squeezing and I sucked in a breath when he pressed his hardness against my belly.

"You don't want me to do that, pretty girl," he said matter-of-factly, his features unnaturally serious.

I gulped hard and pressed my back against the wall, putting some distance between us. I shifted my weight from one side to the other, and lifted my chin, trying my hardest to mask my mounting anxiety but moreso anticipation. I had never wanted something, someone so much, and it scared me.

"Or what? The walls will come tumbling down?"

"You have no idea," Henry grumbled with a slow shake of his head, making my chest twist with anticipation. A small, helpless sound that resounded how I truly felt--weak, helpless vulnerable, but desirable--escaped my lips.

He pressed his lips on the corner of my parted lips, then gently worked small kisses along my bottom lip. He caught my lip in his teeth, pulling and letting go to watch it bounce back. He seemed to enjoy this obscene gesture, his eyes smirking as he rubbed his lips against mine.

"You were right when you said I need to be careful around you. You're the dangerous kind."

I stared at him unable to say another word.

"The spark in your eyes that you try to fight. Those freckles. Your smile." His lips ghosted over mine and his voice became lower and gravelly.

"And you taste wonderful..."

His tongue plunged possessively into my mouth. His kiss was so confident, like he knew no one else could have me weakening like this, and he reveled in the power he had over me if only for those moments.

I wasn't okay with this. Yet, I wanted this so much. I clutched onto his collar, pulling him closer to me, and he squeezed my hips, surprising me when he pressed his hardness against my stomach. I moaned into his mouth, shuddering all over. Henry pulled away from me and our foreheads remained touching.

"Let's get out of here," Henry murmured and I gulped hard and nodded as I let him position me to walk in front of him. My cheeks still burned from feeling him on me, reminding me of Savannah's words about what size he allegedly was but mostly how he used it. I felt a bit guilty thinking of him so lewdly but this was one of the few times someone I was physically attracted to showed me any kind of interest and I was trying not to lose my mind. I realized him being generally a nice guy, especially when he took the time out to help out the homeless guy, those were the things that made me want Henry Walker more.

When he suggested we get out of there and have fun, what exactly did he mean? His hand was on my womb where I'd felt him, and suggestive images flashed through my mind. I tried to think of other things to keep me from being nervous and thinking too hard about everything.

"Savannah seems nicer than I thought, but she's kind of random."

Henry didn't hear me and lowered his head till his ear was by my face. That's when I started to notice a couple of questioning, curious glances flashing me and Henry's way. I wasn't so sure I liked the attention. Trying not to focus on them, I repeated what I'd said to Henry, only for him to take a moment to respond.

"Where was she taking you earlier anyway?" he asked conversationally and I shrugged.

"She said we should get some ice or something but I didn't understand what she was talking about."

Henry stopped and his hands dropped from me.

"She said what?"

The gruffness in Henry's tone made me turn around to find his brow wrinkled while he eyed me in trepidation. After I repeated what I said, I witnessed Henry's demeanor doing a complete 180.

His eyebrows knotted like something was troubling him and he gnawed on his bottom lip.

"Have fun with what?" he asked, slower this time, his voice deep as he watched me studiously. I felt a bit uneasy but figured maybe he thought I was saying something else than what I truly meant.

"I said she wanted have fun with some Ice…"

Henry looked at me in disbelief, shaking his head and combing his fingers through his hair in biting frustration. "Fuck…"

"What's wrong?"

He cupped my neck and assessed every facet of my face, like a doctor trying to diagnose their patient. "How do you feel right now do you feel restless? Is your heart racing? How long ago did she get you those drinks?"

"…what?"

"Answer me," he demanded roughly and a trickle of fear went through me. I didn't like his sudden change in attitude and it didn't bring the best of memories to me. I tried to step away from him but his hold was unyielding, his eyes demanding.

"Wh…why are you talking to me like this…"

"How do you feel right now?" he reiterated impatiently.

"Ambushed!" When I tried to pry his hands from me, that was when he finally released me.

"Valerie…" he murmured impatiently. "How long ago did she start giving you those drinks?"

"When I left you to go to the bar," I answered, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"Do you feel different?" he asked next.

"No, I just feel really drunk," I answered, trying not to let my irritation show.

"Are you sure?" he pressed as he eyed me in a cross between distress and concern. He was making me freak out.

"Yes I'm sure! What's wrong now?" I was starting to lose my cool too.

Henry continued to eye me suspiciously, like he didn't believe me.

I folded my arms around myself, inching away from him. "I'm ready to leave."

"Valerie--" I turned away from him and started to head out. He muttered another frustrated curse but I felt him close behind me as we both exited.

***

He looked really upset and angry, so much that he couldn't even look at me. He was looking out the window, brown wispy curls over his face with his cutting jaw creating a deep shadow on his virile neck where a sharp instances of light would blare every time we passed a street light.

"How do you feel now?" Henry asked for the umpteenth time and this time I let my irritation show because he was being so obtuse about it.

"I feel fine, Henry. If you have something you want to say, then just say it."

He held my gaze with his, which ventured between annoyed and worried, but he simply just looked out the window again. I sighed and leaned my head against the windowpane.

"You don't know what ice is? Did you never go to college parties?"

"Not really."

Henry was a bit stunned looking at me like he was wondering what kind of sheltered life I had lived, which always made me a bit embarrassed whenever people didn't hide their shock. He finally looked away from me and back out the window.

"What's ice?" I asked, remembering that he hadn't answered me when I'd asked.

"Methamphetamines."

My eyes widened in surprise and I wondered how I'd never even heard of that. Ever. In my life.

Henry sighed gruffly, shifting uneasily and looking out the window. A slight panic began to attack me as I wondered if Savannah spiked my drink, but then I'd seen her the entire time she ordered a drink for me. Not once had I seen her add anything to the drink but now I felt more out of my element than before.

"It takes maybe two to three hours to settle, that's why I wanted to know when she started giving you the drinks. You might have been so drunk by the time she gave you what, your fourth one? How many did you have?"

"I-I think five. But the last two I got on my own…" I answered quietly. The taxi ride was without conversation for the next few minutes when Henry sighed heavily.

"I think I overreacted. Just, if anything happened to you, I obviously wouldn't be able to forgive myself." He looked at me dubiously. "You don't do drugs, do you?"

"No! I never have. I feel I should know what Ice is but I never, I never really hang out with people. I never used to go to those kinds of high school or college parties. Ella can be very protective and has always been over me so she never really put me in those situations though I'm sure she would know. And my parents, well they mostly just cared about me staying focused on school so getting around them to go to those things was hard and well, in college I always feared I'd be the butt of jokes cause of my weight so I never…"

I felt his gaze on me as I stared at my hands, wondering what would have happened had I gone with Savannah. I know typically I would have said no, but I was pretty drunk at that time, especially compared to now when some of the alcohol had worn off.

I peered at Henry who was now looking out the window again. "Do you do drugs?"

He looked at me directly in the eye and shook his head. "No."

I nodded, seeing that he was very earnest and serious about his answer. I focused on my twiddling thumbs when Henry reached across the dark backseat and took my hand into his, making me look up at him.

"Valerie, believe me, tonight was not meant to happen like that. I swear on my life." He vowed his eyes so pained they were beseeching. I nodded and squeezed his hand to show him that I wouldn’t hold anything against him. Sighing, Henry swung his gaze back to the amazing nightscape of West Hollywood we drove by.

"The Savannah I've seen lately is not the Savannah I grew up with," he murmured, the emptiness in his voice a little bit scary to hear.

"How long have you known her?" I asked curiously.

"Since we were fifteen."

"What happened to her?"

Henry didn't say anything and I realized maybe I shouldn't have asked. There was a distance in his voice that made me infer that he somehow wanted to detach himself from Savannah. Is that why he'd looked at her like that? He surprised me when he finally spoke.

"Things didn't work out the way she wanted, her acting career hasn't taken off yet and she's taking it very hard. I'm sorry I'd rather just not discuss it in detail if that's okay." I knew he didn't want to give any details and I wondered if drugs was what he meant by 'taking it hard'. I knew how hard it was to watch someone you thought you knew changing right before your eyes and not being able to put a stop to it.

I got the feeling that Henry was not the type to discuss other people's personal turmoil as his reason for not wanting to dig deeper in the conversation and I actually respected that about him. Too many people were quick to divulge other people's secrets, especially the debilitating ones. I'd had many so called friends discussing my weight and appearance whenever I turned my back so I really valued people who didn’t gossip.

"Okay. I understand," I said quietly, looking down at our linked hands, taking great comfort in how warm and large his hand was around mine. It's very hard when you're naturally an affectionate person but men act like you're a leper when you want to touch them anywhere but their dick. That was always my problem. 'Suck my dick' was about as much green light I got to touch guys, but I never actually did any of it. I may have not had enough love for myself growing up, but at least I had some self-respect.

Because Henry had shown me he had some attraction to me, I felt I had leeway to show him affection, to be my natural self.

I lifted his hand and lightly kissed the knuckles. I felt Henry's eyes on me but didn't look up. I kissed my way up the tattooed skin of his forearm.

"Val?" Henry murmured, his throaty voice a cross between confusion and lust.

Thoughtlessly, I moved to straddle him, and I still felt his eyes fixated on me as I lightly nipped his arm through his denim, up to his broad shoulder. All this time, my heart was thumping hard against my chest. I'd never been a seductress, so I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I just let my instincts guide me, and all my instincts wanted to do was feel him over. I kept forging on with the hope that I didn't look stupid. I felt a bit dumb, but I was more concerned with how good he felt under my hands and on my lips than anything else.

Henry's shoulders flexed under my palms when his hands instinctually slid up to my waist once I was on top of him. I could feel his fingertips singeing through my clothing. He was as hot as I was.

The sight of his muscular neck in the occasional shafts of light increased the ache of my tightening nipples. I dove for his neck, placing light kisses on the smooth, hard skin.

Henry sucked in a breath the moment my lips landed on his heated skin, his fingers depressing into my waist.

"Val…" he hitched with failing restraint. The mere thought that I could have such an effect on a man like him made me wetter. And hungrier.  I flicked my dainty tongue feather lightly on his skin making Henry groan. I boldy began to suck lightly on him, savoring him. He tasted better than I imagined.

The strength of the feeling for how much I wanted him scared me.

"Valerie," he groaned now warningly and I moaned as I took small, insatiable bites across his neck over to the other side, where his new tattoo was. My restless hands slipped under his shirtfront and I felt for his firm chest, squeezing the firm skin. My shaky fingers then lowered to his hard nipple and Henry tensed and moaned. I insatiably sought his jaw when my lips whisked by it and began sucking the solid skin.

"Don't do this…" he whispered, his control steadily dissipating. It was far too late for me. I had lost control. I was so far gone with everything about this man. He made me crazy. All my inhibitions and following dad's rules of 'don't you dare mess with men seriously until you own your own company and live in your own house…in addition to having your own property' went out the window. Who would ever listen to that anyway with Henry Walker beneath them panting and weak?

"Stop."

Holding me by the hips, Henry gently moved me away from him and that's when reality hit.

I'd heard this before, and my entire demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. I'd gone from being as limp and wanton as a wet noodle to straight as a ramrod. I immediately assumed that it was him having that attitude most guys threw at me all my life because of my weight and timidly started to pull away from him. He must have seen the hurt and uncertainty in my eyes. Closing the distance between us, Henry gave me a deep, reassuring kiss.

The kiss ended with a loud separation and Henry pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clutched tight as if it pained him to voice those words. He drafted heavy breaths in as he tried to regain some kind of control.

"You don't want me right now, Valerie. Please. Trust me," he said coarsely, pushing each word out of him like it was a struggle with his eyes still closed as though if he opened them and looked at me he would lose it.

"Why so cryptic, are you a vampire?" I asked dryly and Henry smirked at my jab, his eyes still closed. I felt a bit dejected, because I'd been told many times before how I wasn't capable of being sexy or wasn't worth partaking in anything remotely sexy. I started to scoot off of him. "Whatever Henry--"

"I want it hard and rough right now, because I'm still pretty angry at myself for bringing you here and it turning out like this," He opened his eyes, impossibly dark and intense. "And I don't think you're a hard and rough kind of girl."

I stared back at him, not knowing what to say at first. My cheeks were flaming as images of Henry doing it hard and rough flashed through my mind. It was one of my fantasies to be taken completely by someone I wanted it from. To be wanted so badly I ended up with evidence, bruises from the amount of need. In my only relationship, I hadn't gotten it. I was accused of being 'too horny' or 'wanting sex too much' when I wasn't the type who could 'do all the desirable things possible' when it came tos ex. The thoughts made me defensive.

"You don't know me too well to know what kind of girl I am." There was a small bite in my tone and I couldn't believe how petulant I was being, like a little kid who didn't get a nice cool popsicle that had been waved in front of her on a hot summer day. Then I remembered my initial reason for comforting him was just for him, though I hadn't anticipated my reaction to him. My body was still ablaze and I was still throbbing for him. No one had ever made me feel like this.

Henry was amused by the slight attitude in my tone and sat back. With his elbow rested on the door, he rubbed his bottom smirking lip as he analyzed me.  His other hand still rested firmly on my hip.

"When's the last time you had sex?"  he inquired as he ran his gaze down to my chest, to my womb, then back up. The hungry gaze would have excited me if the question didn't set me off kilter.

I broke eye contact because I distinctively remembered my last time almost two years ago and also an 'almost' situation nearly 6 months ago of a guy I met at a club.

His eyes burned as he stared at my lips. "Have you even ever?"

The accusing eyes I shot at him were answer enough and I made to get off of him but Henry held me in place, his smirk reached his eyes while scanning my face. I felt put on the spot and squirmed a little, suddenly wanting to hide.

"You're not hard and rough, Val," Henry concluded.

"How do you know?"

"I know what a woman is like, just from her walk. You walk like a very…nice girl." He brushed some of the strands that fell over my face when I lowered my head. Good meant inexperienced.

"Maybe one day…when you're ready. I can take you there. Would you like me to?"

I couldn't say anything. I'd officially lost my voice.

He surprised me when he leaned forward, tilting his head till his searching lips found mine and kissed delicately as if he was afraid of breaking me or something.

Henry linked my hands with his as he sat back, rubbing circles at the center of my palms, sending shivers through me.

"I have a new game I'd like to play with you…" Henry suggested, looking rather pleased by thunderstruck reaction.

"What game?" I practically croaked. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"The imagine game." his smirk turned wicked as he tilted his head inquiringly. "Tell me, what do you fantasize about Valerie?"

I was stumped and blushing fiercely.

I opened my mouth and dropped my gaze cause I didn't know what to say. I'd never told anyone my fantasies.

"Come love. Tell me. You can trust me…"

The sensations he was giving me with his thumb were very distracting and his voice sent shivers down my spine. All I could do was gnaw at my bottom lip, unable to look him in the eye.

"Do you know what mine is?"

I lifted my gaze to him, staring at him wide eyed, breathing deeply through my parted lips.

"It excites me thinking of you grabbing the sheets when I'm between your sweet thighs, tasting you. Or hearing you screaming at the top of your lungs while I'm buried deep inside you just because you know you can do it comfortably around me. Better yet, have you leave marks on my back from clinging on tightly…"

Henry pulled me closer until I was directly on top of him. I gasped and my eyes closed, an electrical shock zapping through me when I felt his bulge snug between my thighs. I bit my lip as my already throbbing center rested on top of his hardness. My fingers curled painfully into his shoulders and Henry moaned in front of me.

"Or having you on top of me," he whispered and I bit a whimper when he pressed me down onto him, spiraling sensations through me that made me arch into him. "Riding me with all the confidence in the world because you trust me more than you've ever trusted anyone else. "

"Henry…"

"Nothing gets me harder, Valerie…"

We stared at each other, only able to hear each other's breaths on the quiet ride. I was throbbing on top of him, I knew he could feel me. The motions of his thumb stroking my palms had stopped. I wanted to move closer to him, but I was frozen.

As if reading my mind, Henry pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me while nipping at my shoulder and began slow, torturous undulations into me. While sighing my name, Henry's lips melded with mine in hot, wet kisses.

My hands were shaky but I began to blindly unbutton Henry's shirt when we were suddenly interrupted.

"We're here," the taxi driver told us and I jumped away from Henry, suddenly aware of the world. Henry, keeping his eyes closed sat back heavily, breathing ruggedly, his arms relaxing while he simply just held my hips.

"Are you guys getting out or what? I got other places to be."

This forced Henry and I to pay the guy and mobilize out of the car, which was difficult for me because I was trembling all over.

Time had proven that only he could get me to be like this.

I think I was going to dub what he was doing to me the Henry Walker Effect.