Chapter 12

"Are you alright?" Henry asked, with me gathered snuggly to his side. As I lay on him with my head on his chest, I tried to understand what had just happened. I was feeling all kinds of emotions as I listened to droplets of water outside after the rains had stopped.

"Yes," I said quietly, wondering why I couldn't shake the odd feeling around me. The vibes I felt from Henry were different too. His body was tense unlike usual. It didn't pass me that he wouldn't let me touch him the way he'd touched me, and I was the only one naked while he was still fully clothed. I was still shocked by how much I wanted him. Honestly if he was receptive I would have given him everything on the spot and the enormity of how ready I was to do that, without so much as a second thought, was a bit scary.

The powerful effect Henry had on me I was finding out was something I not only just didn't like, but detested. I was even more confused with him not wanting me to return the favor, and boy was I ready to, even after I'd sworn I never would after George.

Henry didn't ask when my thoughts instinctually made me move away from him. I was suddenly very aware that I was naked and pulled the robe around my body as I sat up, Henry moving accommodatingly so that I could get the robe from under him. Why was it so fucking awkward?

Why couldn't I just relax? I was feeling so vulnerable having never let go like that, and the last time I did…

Maybe it's because I felt how tense Henry was. Maybe after the throes of passion he was realizing that he hated my stretch marks?

"I-I'm gonna get rid of them. Soon." I started to ramble, stuttering helplessly and clutching my eyes in regret as soon as the words got out, tightening the robe around my waist so restrictively it hurt.

"Get rid of what?" Henry asked from behind me.

I was a bit annoyed with how clueless he was looking at me with his hands casually tucked behind him and one booted foot crossed over the other. Looking at his close to perfect form only made me more self-conscious about my body and I tightened the belt around me even more."The marks"

"For yourself, I hope. I don't mind them." A wicked light lit up his eyes. "I like biting them."

Henry surprised me when he grabbed my hand and yanked me to him, making me fall unceremoniously on top of him on the bed. I was exhilarated by the sudden, unexpected movement. Henry's lips were quickly on me for  languid kiss. I fell right into it immediately. When he pulled back I was even more breathless than when he pulled me down to him and my body was responding to him immediately.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked and the concern etched all over his face made me calm just a little bit.

"Yeah. I just…yeah."

What I wanted to say was I'd never partaken in a sexual act with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. Why was I making a mountain out of a mole hill? This was nice because there was no binding 'contract' between us. After this, I was still free to do what I wanted, even though a simmering part of me wanted to jump on Henry and rip his clothes off. I didn't want to do that with anyone else, at least not now.

I tried to read Henry's mind, but I couldn't. I mean, what did this mean? To him? Okay, I was thinking too much about this.

"Hmmm…" Henry hummed unconvincingly, his brows knotted as he stared at me thoughtfully.

"Okay," he finally sighed and I sighed inwardly with relief and rested my head against his chest, rather enjoying the simple feeling. Being pressed against the hard muscles of his body not only turned me on but made me feel all funny inside. Like it made me feel safe in a really corny but undeniable way. Henry's fingers combed into my damp hair and rubbed my scalp soothingly. Such a simple action made me want to smile big.

It felt so good I could just lay with him like this for hours.

"I remember…" I was about to say but didn't vocalize my thoughts because I realized how they would have scared him. What I wanted to say was that I remembered being in high school and wondering if these were the kinds of things girls did with their boyfriends on lazy Saturday afternoons. My particular fantasy was skipping school with him and just lazying around in his room on a rainy day, talking about our future, or something like music.

"What?" Henry asked. He no longer felt tense and sounded rather comfortable, like he didn't want to move either. I decided to just play pretend for a second.

"Who's your favorite female singer right now?" i asked.

"I think Rihanna is the epitome of perfection right now. Katy Perry but Rihanna is like, my top favorite."

"Rihanna?"

"Perfection."

When I lifted my head to look at him blankly, he went on just to annoy me. "Like there's nothing you can tell me about her."

"Goat," I said in retaliation of the running joke that she sounded like a goat even though I truly liked her unique voice. I honestly secretly liked her music as well. It's just that she was one of those celebrities that made me want to walk around with a hooded robe and a bag over my head. Yeah I was jealous of her appearance.

Henry narrowed his eyes. "I think we're done talking for the moment. Unless you meant greatest of all time…"

"Are you serious?"

"I don't play where my devotion is concerned with that flawless woman. Like if she asked me to give her my soul right now, at this moment, I completely would…Oh Rihanna I love you…"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"What about you? Who's your fav guy?"

"Usher."

"…He's alright. Bruno Mars is better."

"I like Bruno Mars but Usher isn't just alright."

"He's alright compared to Bruno. Wow you're really mad aren't you? Were you planning on having Usher's baby or something?"

"Yes I was and I will some day." I could only imagine how starry my eyes looked. Sometimes the conversations Henry and I had one would be hard pressed to believe that we were over the age of 15 but that's why I liked us. Even though there technically was no us.

I had to keep reminding myself that.

"That doesn't sound crazy at all," Henry teased me.

"Calling Rihanna perfect isn't even one ounce crazy."

"It's fact. Is this your devil alter ego? What should we name her? Satan?" he said it with the sweetest smile.

I rolled my eyes and suddenly my entire body froze. I sat up, then looked at the clock and reacted like I'd been shocked by electricity.

"What?" Henry asked drowsily, lifting himself on his elbows as I scrambled to my feet.

"I'm late! Like 30 minutes late!"

"For what?"

I stared at him like he was an idiot. "Dinner. Birthday dinner. She's gonna be so mad--"

I was moving so quickly and so frantically I tripped over my own feet onto the hard floor.

"Are you okay?"

I heard Henry asking as he lazily tried to wake himself up.

"I'm okay." I assured him, my palms pressing onto the cold wood, pushing myself upward only to see a mischievous yet proud smirk erasing the earlier worry on his face.

"Was it my tongue that made you fall--okay I see the devil's eyes. Gonna go wait in the sitting room."

***

"Half of the guests left. I can't believe you. I'm so angry the only reason I'm not ripping your head off is because Grandma is here."

The earful I expected from Ella came in full force after I made a small apology tour around the table.

We'd finally sat down and I was looking around in a daze. Even though Henry and I had a very lighthearted moment that had eased the tension, the awkwardness and intensity of what happened followed us when we were driving to the restaurant. We were both very stiff, very quiet, and tense. I wondered why but dared not to ask. Henry didn't either. I just hoped he didn't think it was all a mistake. I tried to convince myself it was but I couldn't. I'd enjoyed every moment of it so much that I was still shocked. Still dazed. Still confused as to whether I was currently alive or not. I was in a daze.

Henry and I had showed up late and while I looked very sheepish and impish, Henry was calm as an expert that had done this plenty of times, one couldn't even guess he'd just murdered me with his tongue. I couldn't properly focus on much of anything, which only irritated Ella more.

"What's wrong with you?" she hissed when I didn't respond.

"I…uh…"

She began to get uncomfortable and asked me with a hint of concern. "Valerie what happened?"

"I had my first orgasm," I told her unable to withhold it anymore and all of Ella's riling came to a screeching halt. She sat back in the chair, now suddenly patient as the look of anger melted from her features. It seemed I'd found a new weapon to use against her the next time she was angry with me.

"Say what now?"

"I had my first orgasm. Well, orgasms," I answered as I cautiously looked around me. Thankfully Henry wasn't even sparing me any attention and I could be brutally honest without his eyes on me. Now that it was over, I could ruminate over the chaos and wonder what the fuck had really happened. It wasn't one of those situations where I could question the realness because damn it I still felt his lips on me. It's like that was his intention. He wanted to tattoo himself on me.

I nearly slapped my cheeks they were burning so hot and my heart was racing so fast I wanted to clutch it to make it stop.

But why when…he didn't want a relationship? Now that I had time to come down from my high, I was replaying everything that happened and so many questions kept popping in my head.

Wait. Hold up. Why was I worried about him wanting a relationship? I didn't want one either. We'd already laid the law for that. We both knew what we wanted and that wasn't each other.

We just…wanted each other. Physically. That was totally different…right?

Okay I wasn't going to allow myself to get complicated with it.

When I looked at him again, all the confusion left and my eyes zeroed in on his lips.

Every move he made with his mouth almost made me twitch and long with want. Those lips had just devoured me no shorter than an hour ago.

"Hello!!!" Ella roughly shook me, then suddenly stood up, yanking me with her. "I'm sorry, could you excuse us???"

She didn't wait for a response from the guests, dragging me along with her to the bathroom. Since Henry knew what had just happened I knew it didn’t take rocket science to figure out what I'd just whispered in her ear. I looked over my shoulder to find him waving at me with a smile, showing that he wasn't at all bothered by it. Well, why would he? He knew he was going to get a good report for his tongue work. Tongue work, I can't believe I just thought that.

Once we were in the deserted bathroom, Ella started shuffling her feet restlessly and shrieked at the top of her lungs. Getting over my shock, I placed a hand over her mouth in sheer embarrassment. I could not believe how old she was at times but I tended to get a bit immature over things like this too, so I guess that's why we got along so much.

"Will you shut up?!?!" I riled her.

She ripped my hand from her mouth.

"Oh my god!!! So what do you mean you had your first orgasm? George never gave you one?"

As usual the mention of George's name turned my world upside down. "Nope."

"And you're telling me this now?"

"Yes." I didn't bother explaining to her that there were so many things about my relationship with George that she nor anyone else knew anything about.

"So…how was it?" she started to wind her hips suggestively. "How's the British D?"

"I hate it when you refer to it as that. Stop it!" I said crossly. "And there was no British D." I hesitated before helplessly adding,  speaking as fast as possible before I became a prude once again. "It was a few British fingers and a British tongue." I held my cheeks in shame, looking away. "I can't believe I just said that. You are a horrible influence."

"Oh my god girl he ate you out?!"

Her voice echoed throughout the empty bathroom.

"Just go tell the whole world, why don't you?"

"So, how was it?"

"We were late weren't we?"

Ella squealed with her hands clasped underneath her chin, then she eyed me skeptically. "But why aren't you glowy like you're supposed to be? Was it not good? You look kind of scared?"

"I'm scared because it was too good Ella. I orgasmed like…twice then the third time was like," I made a helpless motion with my hands. "Multiple I don't know, can we not discuss this in detail?"

"Is this the first time a guy has gone down on you? George never?"

"Okay you're asking me way too much now."

She finally stopped being comical and stood up against the counter with her arms folded, regarding me pensively.

"What?" I asked, mistakenly seeing my reflection in the mirror. I helplessly compared my figure to Ella's thin yet curvaceous body. It only reminded me of what Henry had seen and I kind of felt bad for him.

"So I mean…what's the deal between you two?" Ella thankfully pierced into my thoughts and the question shocked me even though the thoughts crossed my mind earlier.

"Nothing," I answered both to Ella and myself. There was nothing there. Nothing.

Ella lifted a skeptical brow. "Nothing?"

At that moment Josephine barged in with all her tall and beautiful glory. The evening dress she wore hugged her slender curves and her skin as always seemed to glow, with the bright red lipstick contrasting amazingly against her ebony skin.

"Oh my god I love you guys," She hugged us as an afterthought and I couldn't show how elated I was to see her because she started rambling. "But I just saw this dark dangerous looking guy. Not my style of dress, you know I'm more of a suit and tie womanbut god he has the sexiest British accent--" Josephine suddenly stopped herself and looked at me wide eyed.

"That's him isn't it? That's the guy you mentioned on the phone?"

"It sure is," Ella confirmed on my behalf and Josephine's eyes lit up with glee. 

"That's the guy?!!?! Holy shit!!!" Josephine looked at me appraisingly. "And here I've questioned your taste all these years." She gave me a hug that was basically a headlock. "I think he's the best looking guy you've ever liked. All the guys you've wanted are so Basicville."

"Remind me again that you're a well respected lawyer. Basicville? Really," I said dryly.

"You have finally come into your own at 27." She gave me a hug.

"In more ways than one!" Ella chirped before bursting into laughter.

"Why am I not in this joke? Val you lucky whore, he has such a cute smile."

"He gave her her first orgasm with that smile!" Ella grinned proudly.

"Ella!" I held my head, walking away from them to keep my sanity.

"Oh shit!" Josephine gushed and then abruptly looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you've never had an orgasm before him?"

"Guys please." I slumped on the wall exhaustingly, almost wishing I hadn't told Ella. "We're grown women. Stop squealing."

"I bet he had you squealing. Meeow!!" Ella clawed her fingers, sending Josephine into fits of laughter.

I shook my head. An elderly woman walked in and smiled politely at us. We returned her smile and once she entered a stall, Josephine whispered a bit too loudly.

"So how is the tongue work???"

I grabbed both of their arms and dragged them with me out the restroom. That was the only way they weren't going to keep speaking about it. At least I hoped.

When I saw Henry at the table among the other guests I ached with want again and started to get horny. Oh lord, I hope this didn't happen every time I saw him.

"He is so fucking fine may the Lord give me strength please!" Josephine exclaimed, making Ella laugh.

I winced as I sat sandwiched by my best friends.

Ella's mother giggled loud enough for us to hear on the other side of the table and we all shared a glance, mine an expression of bewilderment and Ella tickled to the heavens while Josephine was beyond amused.

"I think Mom is ready to drop the panties," Josephine told Ella and I grimaced, burying my face in my hands as Ella conceded.

"She's been trying her best not to openly hump his leg the whole evening. Ever since he walked in. Child…"

"Guys! Please!"

My saving grace came in the form of a group of waiters and waitresses with a beautiful Super Mario themed cake topped with firework candles. I nearly shrieked in excitement, and they blessed us with a comical, unharmonious, but very sweet rendition of happy birthday. It reminded me of Henry's helium-filled happy birthday delivery. And that scented candle. I couldn't help grinning at it all. This might just be the best birthday I'd ever had.

"What are those little people on the cake?" Aunt Veronica asked and Henry leaned in to tell her.

"So what's your wish before you blow out the candles?" Ella asked. I swept my eyes around the table and my eyes briefly stopped at Henry's face. The look of admiration and contemplation coming from his lit eyes made me blush immensely because I was used to seeing guys give other women they fancied that look, so I quickly looked away because of how great the feeling made me feel.

"That's my business you lovely whore," I told Ella with a sweet smile and she laughed.

After making my wish, we had to pick out the raging firework candles and handed them to a waitress. I sliced pieces of cake with the help of Ella and served them around the table. I was hoping Ella would serve Henry his cake, being that he was in her path, but she conveniently left him out and I had to give him some.

My legs were shaky as I set the plate next to him. Just being near him made me irrationally weak. This doggone school girl crush was grueling.

"Thank you madam," He said to me, his gravelly voice grazing the throbbing part of me. I'd literally felt that voice on the most sensitive part of my body. That very voice had made me release in a way like never before.

I barely made eye contact or told him he was welcome before I nearly tripped in my haste back to my seat away from him. This was awful. I was pitiful.

Once sat beside my girls again, I picked at the cake but didn't eat it. It just wouldn't coincide with my diet.

"You should try it. It's good," Ella said from beside me, nearly ten minutes into our conversation and I felt exposed. This was why I hated eating when she was around. She watched me like a hawk whenever I ate. I took a forkful and enjoyed the saccharine delicacy more than I wanted to admit.

"Okay so…what's the deal with you both?" Josephine asked.

"There's no deal. We're just friends," I explained.

"Oh so friends with benefits?"

I pondered the question, realizing that's really what it was.

"Well, kind of."

"I don't know, Val," Ella interjected with a sigh. I shouldn't have been surprised by her tone but I was anyway and looked at her accordingly.

"What?"

Ella hesitated, then shrugged. "I don't think you can handle that kind of thing."

"I think I'm 27 enough to know what I can handle," I said with some bite in my tone that made both Josephine and Ella pause.

"Have you guys talked about it?" Ella pressed.

"Not really but we both know that we don't want a relationship right now," I explained.

"Why not? You guys are cute together," Ella said and I tried not to roll my eyes. Nope. We looked like we didn't match.

"Ella, come on, it doesn't always have to result in a relationship," Josephine, to my surprise, came to my defense. While Ella was very overprotective of me, Josephine, though older than both of us, was always of the thought that every adult was free to do as they pleased. She never jumped in and believed everyone should live their life how they want to as long as they aren't hurting anyone. If they made a mistake, then they'd learn from it on their own. If I asked her opinion she'd offer one but for the most part she let everyone be their own judge.

"You're acting like you don't know who we're talking about here," Ella said and I didn't appreciate the backhanded comment.

"She's not a kid anymore, Ella. You baby her too much. If Val thinks she can handle it, let her handle it. And anyway," she shoved a huge amount of cake in her mouth that wouldn't add one pound to her weight. I envied her for that. "The best lessons are learned through experience, no?"

For once Ella kept quiet and that's why I loved Josephine. She was one of the few people that could have the last word with Ella. Still, I couldn't deny that Ella's concerns were sound. For the majority of my life I'd mostly complained about never having a boyfriend, not never having hook ups. I could see where she got the impression that I could only connect with another man if it meant commitment.

I was sure that I could pull just 'hanging out' and 'hooking up' thing off. After all, George Simmons had made me swear off relationships until I was at least 40. Maybe 50, and by then, I wouldn't be interested in relationships at all, so it would all work out in the end.

Right?

Overall, I had the time of my life that day. I couldn't stop hugging Ella. I was thankful for everyone who showed up and made it an important note to call everyone who'd left because I was late. I also noticed that I was ignoring Henry with affect. It was strange but I didn't like how I seemed to fall apart near him. I'd want to hold his hand or hug him if we were close cause I couldn't get enough. I didn't want to publicly lose my mind because of him.

A few more people had just left and the table got a bit quiet when a lady with brown, shoulder length hair approached. Just one look at her and you could tell she was a career woman who for the most part put professionalism above all else. Well, the softened expression on her face showed that she'd calmed down just a little bit in recent years.

My mother, freckle faced and all, approached the table in a navy blue suit. I wondered when, pushing 60, she would retire, but it didn't look like it would happen any time soon. She was fit as hell, unlike my father who neglected fitness, and her main reason was because she wanted to live long enough to see her firm flourish for years to come. That's why she was grooming my youngest sister Jade to take the same lawyer career path she'd taken. Too bad for her Jade was obsessed with the world of entertainment like the second born had been.

While Mom was just like dad, an obsessor of professional success, she had a much softer side and I guess was the other reason I didn't totally go crazy, but her softness came a little too late. I'd already been programmed to focus on education and career at the behest of everything else. She was also an extremely gorgeous woman who had unknowingly made me jealous all my life. She was naturally slim and I always fretted over why I never looked like her. She'd tried to be helpful with tough love over my weight, but little did either of us know that would only add to a low sense of my physical self. In high school this one guy asked me why I wasn't as pretty as my mother once when she'd come to pick me up instead of sending the babysitter of the time to do so.

Our relationship had become much better, but I couldn't ignore the sense of more pride and less embarrassment she felt ever since my weight had been lost. Lucky for me academic performance was exception, cause I wondered had I been a 'so-so' student, if my mother would have been proud of me at all and her pride was all I had to hold on to since nothing I did ever seemed to impress my dad.

"Hey Mom," I smiled as I stood up to give her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"You look better and better each time, sweety," She complimented, assessing my body as if trying to make sure I hadn't put the pounds back on, like it worried her. I shook my head, remembering that my therapist told me sometimes it was my own paranoia that skewed my perception of my parents. My mother had told me herself I accused her wrongly many times about her intentions in regards to my weight and that I made everything about my weight moreso than others did.

"You do too,but that goes without saying," I said. "Everyone, this is my mother," I told some of the friends in attendance that hadn't met her yet and she got a greeting. I sought Henry to find his expression very intrigued and observant as he watched us but not for long, Aunt Vivian stole his attention again. That shameless woman.

"So where's dad?" I asked as she occupied the seat beside me cause Ella moved a seat down to accommodate her.

"He had an important meeting. He sent these though."

The bright bouquet she handed me was the last thing I could ever see my father going out to buy. He was the type who would get mother and I new gadgets for valentine's day, and that's when he even remembered.

I smiled wryly as I took the bouquet. "He forgot, didn't he?"

My mother tried to save face, her face beaming into a forced smile. "No of course not!"

I shook my head. "Yeah he did." I smiled thankfully at my mother. "It's okay. Not the first time. Thanks for coming mom."

My mom patted my hand and handed me a gift of her own, a book about becoming vegetarian. I forced a smile and hugged her tight, telling myself it's the thought that counted. She soon went to sit by Aunt Vivian, her younger sister. Josephine returned to the table and her, Ella and I made small talk when Josephine suddenly started grinning, looking behind me. I followed her gaze to see that Henry was walking over to us. My heart began hammering at my chest.

Ella saw him too and started squealing.

"Oh god he's coming over here," Ella whispered.

"And he's tall! He's actually tall! Maybe, what, 6'3?" Josephine gushed.

"You guys shut up!" I grated and smiled painfully when he was near us.

"Hello ladies."

I saw Josephine's jaw go slack from periphery but didn't bother confirming it. I'm sure most people were surprised when they heard how deep his voice was.

"Henry! Loving the jacket you rocker you," Ella said and he nodded affably.

"Thank you." His eyes switched to Josephine, who was staring at him open mouthed, I swear she was seconds away from drooling. "I don't think we've met before." Henry held out his hand to her. "You are?"

"Charmed…" Josephine said and while Ella laughed I looked at my friend in shock. It was rare that anyone ever got Josephine speechless. And the one word she had to use was 'charmed'. How much lamer could she get?

Henry's eyebrows lifted, but he eventually just smiled and nodded while shaking her hand.

"Interesting…" He tried to pull his hand away when the shake was over but Josephine held on. Even I couldn't help but laugh. This was a sight to see for someone who liked her guys tall, dark, and handsome like the Djimon Hounsou type yet here she was, latching onto Henry Walker. Ella poked her side and Josephine let go, completely unashamed by how smitten she was. I knew part of it was her just playing around, which was why I loved my friends so much. We could all be silly together without shame; well them more than me.

Henry, an easy going fella, took it all in stride and just smiled while pocketing his hands in his back pockets and rocking on the heel of his shoes.

"May I kidnap the birthday girl for a while?" he asked next.

"Please do. Pleeeaase!" Ella begged, basically pushing me off the chair so roughly in nearly fell. "Take all the time you need Henry."

"Okay…" Henry said with a laugh as he stepped aside to give me room. As we left, I spotted my mom's curious gaze and felt it all the way out of the restaurant, especially since Henry had his hand on my lower back. Once we were outside, Henry wasted no time pulling me to him and brandishing my lips with his.

When we pulled back I was speechless in shock cause for starters I'd never kissed a guy in front of my mom and I knew she could see us through the large display window of the restaurant. Not to mention the bright lights that displayed the restaurant name were bathing Henry and I right now. Yeah, they all saw us.

"I have to go," he said ruefully and I reacted like I'd been slapped into reality.

"What?!"

"I'm running late actually. I have a flight to catch, remember."

"But you just got here!" I clutched onto his shirt dramatically and he laughed as he took my hands in his and kissed the knuckles.

"I'm not even supposed to be here. I have to be in Paris."

"Wh--Oh then why did you come if you had so much to do?"

"I had to see you on your birthday. Figure out why you hate them so much."

I blushed and felt a bit confused. Was that too much when we had just met? Should I have been worried? As if realizing he'd said too much too, Henry broke eye contact and let go of my hands slowly. Worrying his plump bottom lip with his teeth, he shoved his hands into his back pockets.

"It's not a big deal. Well, actually it is, cause it's your birthday, but for me it's not a problem." He started to back up. "You take care, Valerie."

"Wa-" I cut myself short. I was going to ask him when I'd see him again. Wouldn't that mean having strings attached? That's not how this was going to be. I would see him when I saw him, and I didn't want him thinking I was already attached to him.

"Take care, Henry." I said with a smile and a coy wave. He gave me a farewell nod and spun on his heels. Dusk had befallen, with the softly glowing street lights dimly lighting the wet streets. He somehow made the already picturesque scenery more awing. I nearly ran after him and asked him to take me with him but I knew at that point I was doing too much. It was a pretty sight watching him walk, shoulders hunched as he expertly weaved through the crowd like he was made to be part of the city.

Unlike me, who got bumped into for being in people's way. I snapped out of it and went back into the restaurant, most eyes from the table no me.

"I saw the way he kissed you. He's got it bad," Ella said and I only smiled. We all decided to have our own little girl's night out at the clubs later on. Ella and Josephine left to their cars and waited for me while I went to tell my mother goodbye sitting by her to help her sort out all the cards and gifts.

"Honey, who was that boy that's dressed like he's still in a high school band? Clearly you can date someone who dresses better than that?" she kept her eyes busy on her items in front of her and barely looked my way like usual ever since I was a child. She'd gotten better at it but it was just habit for her to be preoccupied. I shrugged as I gathered up the gift bags.

"I like the way he dresses," I hedged without saying what I was to him and vice versa. Hell, I didn't know. No way any young woman would reveal to her mother she had friends with benefits.

"What does he do?" she asked next and I realized I hadn't even formally introduced Henry to my mother.

I hadn't ever thought about introducing Henry to my parents because, well, I didn't introduce all my friends to my parents. There was always a question of 'what do they do?'. In high school it was 'what do their parents do?'. In college it was 'what do they plan to do?' There was always a 'only surround yourself around people who want to succeed in life', but 'life' according to my parents meant education and career only.

I wasn't surprised by her asking me this question, though it was weird because I hadn't heard it in a while. Maybe it's cause I hadn't seen her in a while and she'd eased up since I'd finally completed my masters and was working an okay job for now.

"He's a music producer," I finally answered and she made an inscrutable face, then laughed.

"Well, I got to give it to him. That's a nice divergence from being the regular rock star. What is he doing? Waiting for his big break?"

"His big break already came. His net worth is actually almost as much as you and dad's combined." The impossibility of that was written all over her face.  

“Unless he is Mark Zuckerberg or at least David Karp," My mother said.

While my parents valued money for sustainability, it was education and smarts in their field that often got them to respect others. They were academic snobs.

“Songwriters make lots in publishing,” I explained, still trying to keep my calm, not allowing her negativity to ruin this night for me.

“But nowhere near internet entrepreneurs. And anyway, anyone can lie these days."

"It's not so hard to believe that someone who doesn't work as an engineer or a lawyer in a suit can be filthy rich, mother."

"But does he own any businesses? Does he own a company? When are you going to start on yours anyway?"

I sighed impatiently. "He owns the rights to his songs."

"Does he?"

"Yeah."

"That's nice. Now what exactly is his net worth?"

I didn't really know, but according to his Wikipedia page--and I use it as a source very loosely-- he was one of the most sought after in the business now. Some of his songs were used in blockbuster movies and commercials for crying out loud. You couldn't go wrong with commercials.

Maybe his net worth wasn't on par with my father's but Henry was doing just fine for himself. Even if he wasn't filthy rich, I wouldn't care. I preferred people who didn't put so much emphasis on money anyway. It always made me nervous growing up, the idea that not having enough money meant your entire existence and worth in life was of no use. Henry never boasted about his career goals or achievements or how much money he had. Hell when I saw the kind of car he drove when he dropped me off my eyes nearly fell out of my head but since he didn't make much out of it, I didn't either. I liked that after being in circles where competition and being number one at everything was the focal point of life.

“I don’t know. He’s doing fine. I don’t think it’s good to discuss other people’s finances,” I told my mother something she’d taught me, feeling really uncomfortable. My mother wasn’t usually this uncouth and I had a good feeling it had something to do with seeing me so publicly affectionate with the opposite sex for the first time. The last person my parents even knew I was in a relationship with was George, and the most we'd ever done in front of them was hold hands.

"You’re right. Don't bother with him," my mother said next. "He is just playing with you any way. He doesn’t look like he could focus on one thing. If there's one thing about those entertainment industry types, they aren't stable because they don't have stable environments." She sighed. "Why couldn't you have just stayed with George? He was the perfect choice. Everything about him was perfect. Smart. Ambitious. Goal oriented. He would have been a great addition to this family."

I froze from putting all my stuff together and looked at my mother to see if she was serious. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mother had never said these words so bluntly. She’d insinuated that she’d really liked George and I together but never blatantly just spelled it out. I wondered if seeing Henry was what pushed her to say something so hurtful. With my stuff packed, I stiffly stood up.

"I'm done having this conversation,” I murmured in monotone, locked up and guarded once again.

"You always shut down whenever someone tries to give you a helpful critique. You were the one who chased him away, you know. There are certain things you have to do to keep a man, and he was nice enough to date you when no one else would."

I shot up to my feet, grabbing my purse.

"Sweetheart--"

"No I…thank you, for the reminder. But don't worry. Henry isn't doing me any favors. We're just friends. I'm glad you came, Mom. Goodnight."

I hurried out of the restaurant, then remembered Ella and Josephine were waiting for me. I didn't want to see them in the moment. I was in crisis mode and needed some alone time. I was feeling irritated and frustrated so much that I didn't want to be around anyone. I walked into the adjacent establishment, hiding from anyone that might have followed, and asked them frantically if I could use their restroom. Although suspicious, they let me in.

I lingered in the bathroom stall until I heard the woman in there leaving. Leaning against the door, I stared at the haunting toilet bowl in front of me.

How could she say such a thing to me? On my birthday? My eyes began to water as pain I remembered from growing up filled me from not ever really being able to open up to my parents.

I knew that by letting her get to me this way, I was giving her power, but I couldn't ignore it. I hated that I valued my parents' opinions so much. This was a huge step back in our relationship for her to say something so hurtful about George. Could I blame her? She didn't know everything about us.

No one did.

I closed my eyes, willing the memories away, but I was hard pressed to do so. I was also blocking that toilet bowl from my view. That enemy. Which I eventually gave in to.

I dropped to my knees and leaned over the bathroom with my hand jammed into my mouth when a text I received stopped me from completing this bad habit I'd picked up in high school when the bullying got too intense. I hadn't done this in a long while since my therapy sessions but…

Luckily I chose not to ignore my phone and saw a text from Henry.

Henry: I hope you had a good birthday 27 Peaches ;-D

I stared at his text, blinking at unshed tears. Embarrassment engulfed me as I thought of how I was really about to forcefully throw up as a way of gaining some kind of control. It was the only means of control I had ever since I was little. When I couldn't govern my grades, or my weight, or how many friends I could have, or couldn't control having my parents talk to me about anything other than academia, I had control over what I threw up and what I didn't. I know to many it was a cop out, 'first world' problem, but that didn't make it any less real of a problem and a coping mechanism I used to use.

I felt very disappointed in myself, how I could let myself take so many steps back because of what my mother said.

If I didn't talk to someone, I would begin throwing up up until there was nothing there. Wiping my tears, I leaned against the stall wall and clutched my eyes shut, pressing my thumb against the letter H. I was taut and wired like chains were binding me. He answered after the second ring.

"Hello?"

The sound of his deep voice seemed to make the chains fall in one swoop and I gushed unthinkingly.

"Turn around." I ordered, hoping he couldn't hear my tears.

"What?" he asked confusedly and I gnawed my bottom lip uncertainly.

"Just come back. Please…" I begged this time in a tiny voice.

I didn't know why I was asking him this when therapy had told me time and time again I needed to find inner strength instead of using a host of things to keep me going. While I knew relying on my own strength would have been the best option, I also remembered her saying that there was nothing wrong with reaching out. So much of my life had been spent making sure I had it all together if anything just to keep my parents from harping on me.

"I wish I could, but I'll miss my flight." He paused. "What's wrong, love?"

I opened my mouth to say something, realizing how selfish I was being. I needed to get a hold of my emotions.

"Nothing. I just wanted to hear you talk. I know that's weird."

"You wanted me to come back all the way so you could hear me talk?"

My lips effortlessly flickered in a smile. "Yes smarty pants."

"Are you crying?"

"No! Not crying." I frantically wiped at my eyes, painfully cleared my throat. "Not cause you left. Cause…" I gnawed my lip hesitantly. "Can you stay with me on the phone until you have to leave?"

"Only if you'll tell me what's wrong."

I hesitated, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I didn't want him to leave me alone at that moment.

"I wish my parents understood me better." I said quietly and gulped hard, trepidation suddenly seizing me, that maybe I'd done the wrong thing by confiding in him, but I fought that feeling off. I never really spoke about my parents to anyone because I felt like I was betraying them if I did. My parents were very well known in the community and I'd hate for their names to be soiled by my woes. I didn't think they were bad people but sometimes I couldn't understand why they did things the way they did.

"It has to be tough that they don't," Henry finally said in a nonjudgmental tone and I calmed down.

"Yeah, but it's okay."

"You wouldn't be calling me if it was okay, would you?"

I knew if I retracted everything I said it would be very annoying especially since I was the one that broached the subject. "They want me to be like, just like them and I can't. Something inside won't let me just conform especially after doing it all these years I feel like I'm about to combust into flames from not being myself for so long.."

"It's that fire inside of you that I saw when we first met."

Henry's words surprised me and made me pause.

"That's why you have to just live your own life," he continued. "You should know by now. I mean, are you happy where you are, Valerie?"

It suddenly sounded very quiet.

"Are you still driving? I don't want to distract you."

"I pulled over to a parking lot."

I frowned and began to guiltily ramble. "Henry--"

"Are you happy where you are?"

He wouldn't let me feel bad over him stopping. I pondered his question. Generally no I wasn't happy with my life, but who was ever happy with their life? I felt weird being asked this by someone who wasn't being paid to ask.

"And whose rules have you followed so far that's put you in this position?" he went on. "You won't be able to blame your parents any longer for not being happy. It's your life and you have to make the choices now, not Mom or Dad. I don't know the situation fully but I'm just inferring here. Why can't you just try to do what makes you happy? It's possible, you know?"

"Are you happy?" I found myself asking, realizing that while I knew a lot about Henry, he was still very much a mystery to me.

"Am I happy?" he seemed taken aback that I even asked. I didn't blame him and felt bad. It was always about me and my issues and him taking care of me. Hell, I hadn't even returned the favor to him earlier. I wanted to be there for him as much as he was for me.

"Yes, where you are. Are you happy?"

Henry took a while to answer.

"I am happy, right now, yes."

I couldn't help the smile that overcame my lips when he put emphasis on 'right now'. For some reason him being happy mattered a lot to me already. Him being happy made me very happy.

"Okay. Well, that makes me feel better. Thank you." I couldn't stop smiling.

"No fair. I can't feel better till you answer my question." he paused. "Are you?"

I was grinning and had forgotten for a brief moment my conversation with my mother or the fact that I'd almost relapsed.

"Yes, I'm happy right now," I told him honestly, putting emphasis on 'right now' as he had done too.

"Okay, good."

"Well since you had to stop driving, I'll have to get off the phone. Don't want you to be late."

"I'll put you on speaker. I just stopped because you sounded like you were crying and I wanted to give you my full attention."

I could hear the engine revving to life as I tried to feel casual despite his words. Nonetheless my heart was doing flips within me and I was filled with so much elation but also guilt.

"You shouldn't stop just cause I'm crying. So you're going to your brother's show?"

"Yeah I wanted to get there tonight so I could hang with him tomorrow before the show."

"I haven't had a chance to look at their stuff."

"They're…interesting."

"Why do you say it like that?! You don't think they're good?"

"No they're good. They're just a bunch of young lads having a good laugh, so I can't hate on that. They are just too playful at times. I just worry about him sometimes."

"Howcome? Well, other than the fact that it's purely normal for an older brother to worry about their younger siblings."

"I don't know I feel like I've let him down in a way, and I can't make it up."

"How do you mean?"

"I had to be away a lot when he was younger. I was the one providing for the family at some point. I feel like, because my dad wasn't always really there. I'm the one who should have taught him to be a man, all the things my father should have taught him, but I was too busy working. Too busy trying to make a way."

"I can't imagine what that feels like. All that lost time, but I'm sure your brother is very grateful to you cause of that. Didn't you help him get his foot in the door?"

"Oh no. He did it all by himself."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He'd always ask me to put him on but I always told him he needed more work. Took matters into his own hands and auditioned for one of those singing shows. I've never really been a fan of those kinds of shows but it looks like it's worked to his favor in the long run."

"Oh wow. That's amazing. I haven't googled them yet."

"Don't."

I laughed. "Why not?!?!"

"You'll run into all kinds of stuff. Not just stuff he's done. The creepy things his fans do. Those fanfics, stories about them, Jesus one of my friends sent me one of them as a joke. Never read anything like that and never will again."

I laughed and then said, "I bet you're proud of your brother though."

"I've never been prouder. Of my sister too. She just graduated a year ago and started teaching this summer."

"That's so cool. So she's not into music like you and your bro?"

"Not at all. She's the brainy one. Ben and I have mashed potatoes for brains so, music was the only option."

"Will you give yourself some credit? There are a lot of technicalities in music that require brains. And I bet writing songs isn't as easy as it looks."

"Hmmm…"

"What? What did I do now?"

"You are playing a very dangerous game with me, Valerie."

His words sent a shiver down my spine. Was this dude truly crazy or what, why would he say those words like that?

I laughed, trying to make the conversation lighter. "What? Because I acknowledge that your job may not be that easy? I may not be a music connoisseur but I had to learn how to play the piano as a child and I respect anyone who can play Mary Had A Little Lamb without fumbling. Was forced to be in band all throughout high school. It was no joke okay?"

"So you were in a band too?"

"Now my band was cool okay? Not that pop stuff you probably did."

"Ha..ha…"

"I played the flute."

"That's so amazing."

Most people laughed but he sounded actually amazed.

"I guess. You need to stop downplaying what you do. I don't know if all this humble talk helps you stay ahead of the game or what. Just chill."

"Look who is telling who to chill. The most unchillest person in the universe."

"Unchillest. About that mashed potatoes for brains…"

Henry laughed. We talked for another thirty minutes before unfortunately he had to get ready to leave.

"Sorry to cut this short, but--"

"No no thank you so much for your time. Have a safe flight, please."

"I will let my flight know you begged for my safety. We'll see if they agree to it."

"Smartass." I mumbled, secretly surprised and very happy deep inside.

He chuckled. "Take care, Valerie."

I didn't want to say goodbye. I wanted to keep him on the phone longer for some reason.

"Bye, Henry."

I was so blind sighted. Little did I know, that farewell would stretch for a long while.

I didn't see him, or hear from him for another month. No strings attached, alright.