Chapter 15

I would never forget the sounds of the waves from that night.

Once Henry had tossed his shirt to the floor and left me speechless, everything got so quiet that the sound of the waves from the nearby ocean seemed to liven from nowhere.

The waves highlighted to me where I was in my life: in a place I never thought I'd be. They highlighted how far away I was from home; this was the second time I'd gone far from home and hadn't notified mom or dad.

They highlighted who was standing before me: Henry Walker.

I always had an inkling that he had a nice body but I didn't think it would be this perfect. I knew maybe me really liking him so much already was probably skewing my vision but I think even his worst enemy would agree: Henry Walker had a body on him.

Aside from the moonlight, the only other lights were various shards of the pale blue lights that surrounded the house--being that the guest room was on the ground floor. They made the room look mystical, something out of a dream, and they were slightly invasive because of one of those damned grandiose windows this house was famous for.

So this lighting made for a very overawing sight of Henry. One couldn't even tell the color of his eyes in the the dim lighting of the room now. While he was muscled and toned, he wasn't built like a bodybuilder. He was athletically lean with a defined torso and a flat stomach that had a light six pack. His torso and arms were cloaked in artful tattoos that were the most handsome I'd ever seen, not obstructive at all. He knew what he was doing with those tattoos. The whimsical lines and different shades and pops of color that I could see in the dim lighting all worked harmoniously together. The only thing that really stood out was the number '4' right above where his heart was located. I wondered the significance and was briefly reminded that tomorrow would be the 4th. July 4th. Actually, today, I remembered, cause it was passed 12.

Even though I wanted to ask what all his tattoos meant, I couldn't speak. I was too busy admiring the art on his body and his body as well. My heart raced as I lowered my eyes to the trail of hair that began under his navel.

I wanted him. I wanted him all.

"Take off your clothes," he instructed and I opened my mouth, not sure of what I wanted to protest. How could I start acting demure when I was the one who'd basically pounced on him and challenged him to take me? He'd probably known better with all his experience with women. He must have known I was all talk.

I didn't want to be all talk. I did want to jump on him. Like I could move a muscle of mine, other than the light shaking of invigoration and fear that was taking place in my limbs.
 
At first I didn't think he was serious, then I thought he would spare me and come and do it for me. Instead, his eyes alit with fire and they were engaging as they were ensnaring as he dipped his chin.

"Slowly," he murmured as he raked the hot coals that were his eyes all over my body. He folded his arms in a very patient gesture that demonstrated he had all night and he was going to treasure every moment carefully and wisely.  I felt more moisture pull at my center just from the look in his eyes and my toes curled as anxiousness spread through me.

This was the side of Henry Walker that stole hearts. It was that side that hibernated constantly at him but only reared its head when it wanted to claim its prey. 

He wasn't going to help and looked like he would stare at me the whole night so I decided hey I might as well. I now had the stage.

I had never truly had the stage, to be the object of desire. I gulped hard and sat up with great effort because my arms were so weak from my rakish nerves. Avoiding eye contact, I unbuttoned my shirt, my shaky fingers making it extremely difficult.

My nerves were so bad, the thumping of my heart was loud in my ear, but I forged on.

I peeked at him to see the humor in his eyes and made a face at him, only for him to smirk. Once I parted the shirt and shed it off of me, the smirk on his face faded. I was sitting in nothing but my bra and skirt in front of him. He still had my panties in his pocket.

The hungry look in his eyes gave me a burst of confidence I'd felt only once in my life. I ignored the reflexive dread that followed, forcing myself to enjoy the moment.

I knew my thoughts of wow this really hot guy is basically speechless cause of me were very juvenile and immature, even very shallow, but that's what happened when a person didn't have experience the time the world says they're supposed to.

Knowing now that my stretchmarks didn't bother him as much as they bothered me, I began to shimmy my skirt down my thighs. I did note how pathetic it was that I was okay with my stretch marks since they didn't bother him and that wasn't good. I had to work on that, but would worry about that later.

Swallowing hard again, I looked up to find Henry drinking me with his eyes. They were burning fiercely in a way that made me ache.

He was eying my legs, about to take a step forward, then suddenly stop as something dawned on him. This made me pause.

"Touch yourself."

I eyed Henry in horror. What kind of fuckery was he talking about now?

"Open your legs and touch yourself," He elaborated so bluntly with a teasing smirk, my eyes widened even more. I remember my mother would always tell me never to open my legs for anyone until I had a thriving career and here I was, being told to part my legs for a very ravishing man. Henry's tone was a bit challenging now. He was testing me. He wanted to see just how far I could go with exploring my sexuality. He'd said as much when we were in the back of the taxi that he could just tell just from my walk. I flushed at the thought that he'd watched me walk.

This was so weird to me. I remember when I had my first time with George. He'd impatiently tugged my clothes off of me. He hadn't stared at my body like it was an awing piece of art the way Henry was looking at me now. Of course the pressing thought that if I still weighed the same with all the love handles and folds I wouldn't even be in this room with Henry right now when Henry's voice pierced into my disturbing thoughts.

"I want you to not think so much. Just let it go. Enjoy yourself. Close your eyes and just feel what I feel when I touch you. I want you to feel how beautiful you are when I feel you."

My mouth dropped and my throat went dry. How could he make touching oneself sound so…mesmerizing.

Moistening my lips, with Henry's eyes flickering as he caught the action, I swallowed hard. I couldn't get passed doing anything without him noticing. He was keen to my every move. It made my heart sing but also made me feel pressure.

I sighed and closed my eyes, having to remember not to think so much, one of my biggest flaws. I remembered just how hungrily Henry had feasted on me twice, the second time like a beast that had been in a cage too long and finally released to its first meal. I gasped when I touched myself and felt how wet and hot I was. Remembering how Henry touched and teased me, I bit my bottom lip as my fingers adventurously fondled the silky folds. Henry's rough sigh encouraged me to explore further, with my hips agitating now at the feeling. Also because adrenaline was rushing through me.

As prudish as I was, this was not my natural self. I was not such a prude that I'd never tried my hand at masturbating, I just wasn't really good at it, but something was different this time.

Something inside me was just very thrilled. It's like I'd opened a door I'd always walked passed in my life because I'd always believed that I wasn't 'allowed' to go there. Whenever I tried to mention trying 'new things' with George, he always came off very uncomfortable and made me feel weird for even mentioning anything to him. All my life I felt I didn't deserve much, even sex, because as many said, I was 'disgusting' and had 'done that to myself' as far as gaining lots of weight. So when George made me believe he loved me, I thought I could confide in him about my sexual desires. Wrong.

Sitting in front of Henry with my legs parted, it may have looked stupid, but I felt so…free. Like I could do and be anything around him. Maybe I was thinking too deeply into it, but it nearly brought tears into my eyes. I pushed those thoughts back and focused on what my hands were doing, imagining Henry's handsome, red mouth there.

I moaned, fingering myself with my middle finger like he did with his tongue when he was searching and tasting.

"Valerie…" The rough sound of my name sounded so erotic. I started breathing through my mouth as I thrust my finger in and out of myself like he did with his tongue because he knew how crazy that got me. This is when he usually pried my legs further to get deeper. I opened my legs more for him as I thrust deeper into myself.

"Fuck…." I heard followed by a hiss that made me leak even more onto my fingers.

"Henry…" I moaned as I started to use my thumb to rub my clitoris, imagining it was his tongue circling me. My body began to get taut as touching myself there heightened my arousal. The sounds Henry was making were taking me there too. I bit my lip as I quickened my thumb over my clit like his tongue would do, my breaths coming out in quick gushes. I imagined that warm, wet tongue, the desperate groans, and I came. Hard.

When my body stopped convulsing and I was breathing my last deep breath, I opened my eyes to find Henry staring at me in amazement. I almost smiled because I was usually the one getting amazed by him, and it didn't take long for that to happen again. His lips were slightly parted and one hand was at his groin, rubbing suggestively. Just knowing I was the reason for all this gave me so much power I'd never felt before in my life.

This surge of bravado made me lift my hands. Normally I wouldn't have even thought to do something like this, but his devouring eyes got me so hyper, I daintily run my tongue over the ball of my middle finger, looking him directly in the eye. I had tasted myself on his tongue multiple times by now so I was not surprised by the taste moreso than I was by my behavior. I don't know where this powerful seductress in me came from. Maybe she'd been locked in a cage, guarded for so long and was finally breaking free.

She was out because my guard was down.

I didn't know how long it would last, but Henry had made something awaken within me that surprised the hell out of me.

He was surprised too, his eyes widening and his shoulders rising and falling further as he breathed deeper. Muttering a curse, Henry bit his lip and jetted to the bed. He closed his lips over my tongue while it danced lasciviously over my fingers and groaned appreciatively as he obviously tasted myself on me. He tasted my tongue and outlined my lips, clearly trying to pace himself. Then haplessly, his tongue snaked back out to my finger to taste the rest of me that I hadn't. I watched in some kind of twisted awe as he lapped me up and then tried to join him, like we were both sharing a popsicle. Henry's eyes lifted to mine, flickering with humor as mine did. As our tongues slid across my fingers, they occasionally slipped through the cracks and whenever they rubbed against each other, it was electric. I liked this little devious form of sharing we were partaking in.

He looked so pleased by my participation it made me feel good. If this was what sex was supposed to be like, I wanted it all the time. We were having fun. We were being adventurous and we hadn't even travelled the world together. We were experiencing new worlds together, finding the adventures in each other's bodies.

Henry's hunger augmented and he lowered my hand to devour my lips, searching and tasting even more. Then I froze in surprise when he cupped my wetness. He was much gentler in how he touched me down there. I smiled inwardly thinking he was probably over-eager and got carried away. It was actually nice to know that someone wanted me so much they couldn't control themselves.

To show him that I wanted him too, I opened my legs a bit more to give him more access. Henry sighed into my mouth and I moaned as his fingers slid easily into me, as I was already soaking wet. Of course his fingers felt better in  me than mine did because he knew what to do. It was a bit daunting to think that someone else knew a part of me better than I did, but I didn't have much time to be intimidated too long. Disrupting the kiss, I threw my head back in ecstasy as he began measured 'come heather' motions with his index and middle fingers. From his vantage he could get deeper in me than I could on my own and he was rubbing that spot again that always made me go crazy.

I was squirming like crazy, biting my moans and clawing at the sheets with my legs restlessly shifting on either side of Henry's hard body.

"So good…Valerie…"

The sound of his satisfied deep voice made my vagina naturally close around his fingers, and I moaned as I felt him more. Henry moaned deep in his throat at the tighter vault I created, then took me higher as he began the mind-numbing act of rubbing the pad of his thumb on my throbbing clit while moving his fingers within me.

All I was doing was following his lead because he was allowing me to. I didn't have to lay there like a rock and just 'take it' painfully like times in the past. Henry and I having already been sexual before made me a bit more comfortable for this moment because I didn't have to worry about my stretch marks and for that, I was glad. I didn't have to be so self-conscious about my jarring stretch marks.

The fact that I happened to really, really, really, like him, and the fact that he seemed to like me and how my body responded to him, gave me yet another eruption of confidence. The mind is a powerful tool because those thoughts alone caused me to use my body experimentally. I curiously began to move my hips up and down to meet his manual thrusts. This caused more friction thus more pleasure. 

Apprehensively, I watched his expression as I did this and Henry lifted his eyes in surprise at me. For a moment I thought he'd complain that I was trying to have way too much control, but when I saw desire infiltrate his eyes, I knew he liked it. It made me feel somewhat powerful.

Hungrily biting his lip, he slowly eased a third finger into me. I winced at first at the stretching, but it quickly felt good because he took painstaking time. Then he began to slowly move his fingers in me, simply just acquainting himself with me. My fingers curled further into the bed. His lips soon found their way to my arched neck and he alternated between licking and kissing down to my chest.

The sound of sweet, small kisses over my breaths and thrashing body was so erotic I was sure Henry felt me dousing his fingers even more. He kissed his way back up to my shoulder and bared his teeth as he caught the bra strap, tugging it down. With my shoulder exposed, he planted soft kisses along it. With his free hand, he peeled the other bra strap and tried to undo the bra with one hand.

"Take it off," he ordered frustratingly when he couldn't do it with one hand. Clearly he didn't want to take his other out of me. Since I didn't either, I tried to take it off, but with great effort. My limbs were a buzz. If he'd stop pleasuring me this would be so much easier.

I flimsily tossed the bra somewhere, I don't know where, cause my concentrations were on Henry's hand.

"So beautiful," he murmured and began to kiss down the curve of my chest until he got to my left breast. He unashamedly took one nipple into his mouth and rolled his tongue over the areola before dusting the tip of it over the sensitive nipple. My body jerked at the powerful sensation, making my hips agitate thus making Henry's fingers hit more spots. Additionally my jerky movements made his thumb stop its delicious rub over my clit.

"Oh fuck…Henry…"

He soundly suctioned the nipple off, his eyes burning with delight.

"Good girl. That's what I want to hear. Don't hold back," his voice rumbled like a steady tune that I could hear all night. I was getting so weak my arms gave and I was laying on my back, writhing beneath him.

"Stop?" He questioned and my eyes flew open and I angrily stared at his green eyes as they twinkled teasingly.

"I love having you in the palm of my hand," he had the nerve to say as a wicked smirk elongated on his lips.

My mouth flew open to tell him to shut up when he pressed his palm against my clitoris before rubbing from side to side, making me bite my words and arch.

"No fucking pun, huh?" I miraculously managed to say breathlessly as I frustratingly pushed some curls away from my face. 

Henry chuckled in amusement and lowered his head to give the other breast the same attention. Licking and sucking.

"Oh god. Henry…oh god…" I gripped his head, his curls tangled in my fingers, and held steadfast. All the while my legs agitated while his fingers continued to go to work.

Henry tore his lips from my chest.

"Look at me," he demanded and my eyes flew open. He'd leveraged his weight on his elbow as he lay sideways with me next to him, flat on my back. My chest was rising and falling from his hands.

"You smell wonderful," he murmured and wiggled his fingers inside me, making me jump lightly. He laughed throatily at my reaction and I bit my lip shyly.

"Is that what you do when you come?" Henry asked, eyes drunken with lust as he appreciated my lip biting. My cheeks grew warm and I looked away. I couldn't handle the deep voice and charming eyes sometimes. My nipples had tightened at that question alone as it brought so many thoughts and memories. Especially the fact that he was the first person to introduce me to orgasm.

"You know I haven't really watched you come, right," Henry murmured more as a statement than a question, his voice rough with want as he fingered me and began rubbing my clit again.

"Ah…Henry…" It was too pleasureful. I tried to back up but Henry hovered me again and trapped my waist with his other hand and continued to expertly fondle me. I was biting my lip again and Henry moaned lowly. I felt he had inched closer to me as his breaths caressed my lips, his voice quieter. 

"I want to watch all the faces you make when you're in your highest form of pleasure, Valerie."

"Mmm…" his words and hands made me moan as I averted my face, clawing at the sheets. With my face averted, Henry saw this as an opportunity to align his lips with my ear that was now facing him.

Then he nastily whispered to me, "And I want to be inside of you this time,  when you do."

I panted. I could feel the orgasm on it's way as Henry quickened his thumb rubbing on me. I thought about his words as he rubbed me and came hard against him, crying out and twisting underneath him.

I was shaking after the orgasm seemed to rupture through me. Henry finally removed his hand from within and put two fingers in his mouth, appreciatively closing his eyes as he tasted me. I got hot all over again. Fuck damn it. And he opened his eyes as he ran his tongue over his palm, which was even more hotter to me.

I blushed and looked away and saw Henry smirking from the corner of his eyes. He planted both hands on either side of me, his eyes burning into my sudden shy form as he spoke.

"I would love to eat you but I have waited to be inside you so long love, we will leave that for a later day."

Oh god. Eat me? That made my clit jump. This is the Henry that had been hiding in his shadow the night we first met. He was so all-encompassing, how could anyone escape him. Now I knew why some of those other women acted crazy around him. Dear god.

I felt Henry get off the bed and I watched in the shadows of the night as he fished through his pocket. My heart jumped at the sight of his silhouette against the distant image of white foam from the waves crashing. The sight was so beautiful yet I felt so haunted by how beautiful this all was to me. This was too perfect. The sound of the waves outside, punctured by the sound of Henry's belt clinking as he undid it was imprinted to my memory.

My body was charged and restless with excitement. But not for long.

I heard the condom wrapper rip and closed my eyes. This should have brought me good memories, but a sudden fear began to needle into me. Fear and some kind of dread from the past.

Then the dread was pierced through when his jeans fell to the floor and I got to see an outline of his masculine, strong legs. I bit my lip and my legs shifted as I clinched the bedsheets.

There was a tug of war going in my brain and in my heart. There were too many things that were signaling bad memories from my brain and my heart but there was also all this new excitement that my brain and heart couldn't ignore.

I sucked a breath as the mattress shifted when Henry rejoined me on the bed. My mouth watered when I saw his dick proudly in front of him. I gulped. He was sized very nicely and I squirmed wondering how that was going to work especially with how long I'd gone without sex.

The waves crashing outside seemed to be some sort of reminder that I was in a different place and a different time, so I should give this all a chance with a clear head. And the waves also somehow made this all the more intimate as I admired Henry a bit more now that he was within close proximity of me. The dark curls that surrounded his manhood rendered me hungry and so did the bulging muscles of his thighs as he took position above me. I wanted to touch him so badly. I wanted to feel those tight curls between my fingers. But I was trained not to touch. That training was instilled so much into me I kept my hands as still as possible to myself as Henry hovered me.

Henry kissed me deeply as he settled above me, and my body started to warm up again. He kissed me with passion, his head dipping, the curls of his hair tickling my face. Reflexively, my hands were on his arms.

The kisses as quiet as the waves sounded outside of us. It just sounded so breathtakingly beautiful. I knew I would never forget this night as long as I lived. Then Henry stopped abruptly.

"Open up for me love," he said as he ran his hands along the line my tightly clenched thighs formed. I didn't even realize I was that rigid beneath him until he pointed it out.

"Sorry," I apologized awkwardly as I relaxed my legs and Henry made home in between me.

When I felt his dick against my thigh, a surprising anxiety began to crescendo throughout my system, like a slowly moving hurricane into a town that had no choice but to wait for the attack. Dealing with Henry's mouth and hands was fine because we'd already broken through that barrier.

Him actually placing his vessel into me was totally different. My experience with that had not been consistent. It had ranged from extremely painful my first time, to a zig-zag effect of highs and lows after.

Sometimes it was good--very rarely--I think I'd loved George so much I couldn't tell. Other times it was bland because I just lay there while a man slammed into me and shook on top of me. Most times it was uncomfortable. The one time it had been the best turned out to be the worst night of my life.

My racing thoughts were interrupted by delicate kisses--which I was learning were the worst. They were my kryptonite. They always spoke so many volumes. His soft kisses always made me feel calm and cared for and safe and precious to the point of pain. It kind of hurt to be treated like something so treasured and breakable that he wanted to take his time to make sure he didn't break me or lose me.

Or hurt me.

Maybe I was thinking too far into it. It couldn't mean that much. A kiss was just a kiss, right? Or maybe he was baiting me to believe he cared just so that he could get a good fuck. But what was wrong with that anyway? No strings attached, right? Oh fuck it! I had to stop this. It wasn't my mind over thinking. My heart was doing all the talking that was confusing my mind. My heart nearly caused me to hiccup a sob because it was telling me that this was making love. This had to be what making love was. I clutched my eyes tight so that I wouldn't cry. I refused to ruin this moment.

I was almost in tears because this is what I'd always imagined being intimate with another person was and the fact that it was happening when I thought it would never happen to me was overwhelming me. Granted I was making a mountain out of a molehill, surely I was taking this too seriously. I know I was. I just--

"Are you ready for me?" Henry whispered against my ear, cutting off my agonizing thoughts.

Was I? Was I ready for this? How dare I fucking ask after pleading with the guy to take me.

"Yes. I'm ready," I said encouragingly, though my voice was shaky from unshed tears, but I just did not want him to think I didn't want this. I wanted this.

His fingers pressed into my hips as he lifted me off the bed.

I closed my eyes, feeling both unnerved and embarrassed by his deep gaze as he hefted my hips for his entry.

With a guttural groan, so deep from his chest I felt the vibration on my nipples, Henry slid into me remarkably slowly. As his bulbous tip nudged at my tight opening, I tensed and sucked in a breath, anticipating excruciating pain. It had been a very, very long time, because it hurt at first, his girth was something I had to get used to. But thank god, it didn't hurt as bad as my first time. My nails dug into his arms, which strained in response to the pain I was sure I was causing him, as I adjusted to the encompassing feeling of him filling my insides.

Henry hissed, his fingers pressing into me almost painfully as he held on firmly and pushed himself further into me. I grit my teeth at the surprising pain that spread through me as he slid in further despite my well lubricated walls. I expelled a sound breath as he went even further, biting my lip.

His eyes were closed in bliss, like he was in pure heaven. His lips parted as he panted sharp breaths through them. I felt so special, surprised that I could make another human being feel so heavenly.

"Holy...shit…" he breathed in wonder, blinking his eyes open as he looked down at where our bodies connected. He really was amazed. I was amazed that he was amazed. Hell I was turned on when I saw our bodies together. I'd never been given the opportunity to see it before because the person I was with didn't fucking care.

"Val…so tight…" He could barely finish his sentence then looked up at me, his eyes wild with surprise.

"Are you a virgin?"

I shrunk under the gaze and shook my head, mouthing, "No." I couldn't find my voice. I was still reeling over how amazed and shocked he appeared, unable to believe I was the reason.

"Fuck…you're so tight..." He took a few collective breaths and blinked out of the stupor he was in before zeroing in on me again. His expression grew apologetic. He kissed my forehead before lifting on his elbows, asking, "Are you okay?"

I nodded jerkily and Henry took a few moments to collect himself.

He pressed his forehead against mine and said, "Hold on to me."

Then he began to roll into me carefully. The pleasurable and painful sensations were so strong that I couldn't help moaning and arching into me as my body was possessed by these feelings. I gnawed at my lip to swallow the whimper that nearly shot out of me. I couldn’t stop the tears from stinging my eyes.

I remember my first time. It hurt like a bitch. It hurt so bad because George was not careful, neither was he gentle with me. He was just trying to get it over with it seemed.

Even as good as Henry was making me feel, because my mental state was very restless, I couldn’t fully enjoy what we were doing and began to panic. My entire body began to tense. I hated myself for it, but I wheezed as I tried to get away from Henry.

He paused and stilled me, his eyes wide with concern.

“Am I hurting you?” while his voice was rough with desire it was also brimming over with regret.

My chest rose and fell as I tried to catch my breath, looking up at Henry with wet eyes. God, I’d cried twice in one night. The last thing I wanted was for him to think that he was hurting me. I shook my head and as I closed my eyes, I remembered all the therapy I’d received.

He was not George.

More tears eked out in frustration over how badly I allowed George to affect me. Since I hadn’t had any relationship contact since George, I didn’t realize just how bad off I was with the opposite sex.

I felt warmth over my cheek as his lips lightly whisked by me.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”

His words made me hiccup a sob. George said something along those lines too. But what also made me cry was he didn't villanize me for being difficult like he had the right to do.

“I’m s-so sorry. I’m not normal…” I regretted apologizing. I think I said this before too when we first got intimate at my condo. Damn. I was ruining the moment. I had to stop this. I really had to stop this. I knew it was annoying. Time wasting. Unnecessary. I knew it. Knowing it didn't mean it was easy to stop though. This had to be exhausting for him. I didn't want to be the woman that always needed reassurance, but he was managing to unearth so many unsolved things I'd buried. He just had this special key to a cage with a hidden lock--I couldn't even find it. But he did. It seemed that only he could find it. That made me a bit uncomfortable that someone else was so aware of me even more than myself.

The fact that so far he didn't seem tired of me, the fact that he was so patient showed me that he understood. He wordlessly understood. I didn't have to explicitly explain myself like I did with most people.

That shook me to my soul that he could understand me without me having to say one word.

I had never felt so vulnerable. I was shaking just a little because I was breaking down right there underneath him, with him still inside of me. The feeling of him filling me was so great but my burdens were even greater. I wanted to get away from him when his words stilled me.

“Shh…you’re perfect Val. Just perfect. Look at how perfect you are for me.”

When I went still, it grew quiet. And I heard those waves again, crashing onto the shore.

Henry had raised his upper body and I peered down at us again, getting even more turned on than earlier because I was a bit more relaxed. Slowly I began to breath and I closed my eyes and tried to free my mind. I could hear our breaths and the waves. Something in his words made me let that very binding part of me go.

"I will take care of you. Relax. Relax for me…" he whispered through labored breaths.

I shivered at the words, but it was like that shiver prayed a calm in me that forced me to breath easy.

When I finally relaxed and stopped tensing, I could concentrate more on the feeling of him within me. The pain and discomfort began to ebb out of me, and the feeling of him inside of me that had been fighting so hard to take control, became very welcome once I eased my mind. My rigid fingers clawing at his arms had relaxed and I shyly wound them around his neck. I realized then that I used to either grab at George's arms or the sheet beneath me to bear through the impending pain. With my arms around Henry's neck, this felt even more intimate and was more inviting for him. The worry in his eyes disintegrated and he kisses me gently, adding even more to my relaxation. He had to be a magician. Not many could do this for me.

Now that we were in the calm of after the storm, Henry began to move within me. I was used to being hammered into, so this was a surprise for me. A surprise I welcomed because it felt so fucking got damned good.

His slow precision was forcing me to feel every single inch of him, forcing every nerve of mine to experience him. It was forcing me to discover places of myself I didn't know could make me scream out.

My unrehearsed screams also came as a shock. I was so used to faking it, so used to trying to morph my grunts of pain into what I imagined ecstasy should sound like that this was throwing me for such a loop.

So this is my real voice when pleasure took control of every cell of my body.

Subconciously, I was probably still holding back, because Henry sighed against my lips, his lips ghosting against mine.

"Let it out," he briefly bit my bottom lip and added in a rough, dark, hoarse whisper. "I want to hear that beautiful voice scream."

This was followed by deeper thrusts as he lifted my hips higher towards him and picked up the pace. A loud moaned escaped my arched throat a sound that didn't seem to belong to my own body. I clung to him while he set me to newer heights of pleasure I once thought unattainable.

"Yesss…take me. Take all of me..." Henry hissed against the bottom lip of my gaping mouth. He'd tug my hips closer to him every time he ground into me, then release the pressure of his fingers as he slid out right to my entry before holding on tight, lifting me, and thrusting into me again.

I locked my restless feet around him unashamedly. I had never been able to do such a thing before.

I didn't want him to stop, but my limbs were under siege buzzing with pleasure as he unlocked my legs from his waist. He placed them on his shoulders, sliding back into me before I could make some kind of protest. I'd have felt stupid for protesting because I screamed out when he slid back into me, deeper than before. More pleasure.

"Oh god…" I panted at the sheer surprise this new angle brought. Henry smirked as he watched me drown in ecstasyas he thrust again to the hilt and enjoyed his new home there, rolling his hips to stir his member in me for a few moments. Fuck. I felt him moving within me deep. It felt too fucking good when he did this.  Mind blowing.

I gnawed my lip biting a moan as I flung my head to one side. I gripped his shoulders to try and hold on to something.

He began to thrust into me again, his pace quicker than before. For now I couldn't try to meet his thrusts or anything. All I could do was lay there and take it because it was so new to me. It hurt just a little, the short, hard thrusts, but that's strangely what made it so pleasurable. There was this feeling of being taken control over, being handled, that I illicitly liked. I couldn't explain it.

I wanted more  but yet I would have been content with what he kept on doing. Before I knew it I was speaking in tongues.

"Yess…Henry…Oh….Yes…."

Henry's groans became more guttural. More uncontrolled. More animalistic. And I fucking loved it. It was like he couldn't get enough.

And I'd soon find out. Suddenly Henry stopped and he knelt in between my legs. My eyes opened in confusion and distress that he'd stopped the pleasure. 

"More, baby. Give me more," he rasped demandingly.

At first I didn't know what he meant and became embarrassed about my limited knowledge in the ways of pleasing a man. Then Henry showed me what he meant by holding under my knees and spreading my thighs far apart, having me as open as ever for him.

His eyes flickered with desire as he stared at my wetness and he hungrily bit his bottom lip. He quickly plunged his entire length back into me, the sudden invasion amazing me.

And a delicious invasion it was.

"Oooh…" An elongated moan escaped me as my back arched sharply at the feeling of him hitting a newer, deeper spot. I lost control immediately.

We were both frenzied and mad in this world we were lost in. Our world.

His thrusts now were headboard-banging powerful. At first I placed my hand at his lower abdomen, I think my nails must have grazed his skin as I couldn't handle the new position initially. The pleasure was too paralyzing, too blinding, I wanted him to slow down.

Henry gritted his teeth in what seemed like pain after I unintentionally scratched him, but excitement lit up his eyes.

"C'mere," he murmured and roughly grabbed my wrist from his abs, the other from his arm and pinned them hard on either side of head.

His thrusts were powerful and unrelenting, making me scream out again as he buried himself to the hilt each time he thrust. I didn't know him pining me down that way would turn me on so much.

"Oh Henry! Oh god…more…ah…" something made me lift my legs, wanting more. Needing more. He knew exactly what to do to make me yearn for me.

"So good Valerie…so fucking good…fuck…" Henry hissed and by then I'd acclimated to the pace. When I submitted to him, Henry let go of my hands and held my legs, right underneath my knees again. He yanked me closer and the plunging commenced. My hands were flat on his chest as he bore into me. I liked that our bodies were smacking against each other with primal need. There was a point where that was all I could hear coupled with some large waves that had crashed to shore.

I liked that he was taking charge of what he wanted--me. And in those brief moments I liked being possessed in such a way. I like that he didn't let me stop this pleasure. Oh god, what was happening to me? I liked being controlled underneath him like this.

What the fuck…I was taught never to let anyone control me….

I liked being filled so fully and possessively for that particular moment. George didn't even cross my mind.

My entire body shook with each impact of his thrusts and I was moaning and groaning loudly, probably said some incoherent words here and there. Honestly, I don't fucking know.

"Fuck, you're so tight…so wet…fucking perfect...Valerie…"I barely heard Henry over the headboard hitting the wall. He thrust really hard and my hand on his chest clawed. Henry grunted. Still holding under my knees, he pushed my thighs far back till they rested on my breasts and lowered to kiss me while thrusting even deeper and holding it.

I was whimpering now at the pleasure as my legs flailed over his strong, flexing back as the steady thrusts began again. I felt crazed and bedeviled and lost it when he wedged his hand in between our sweaty bodies to rub my clit with his thumb. Fuck whenever he did this I just lost.

"No no no. Henry please!" I tried to get away because of the predominant pleasure that often came when he did that. Now I loved losing control but too much of it was just that, too much.

"Yes," Henry growled, holding me still. "You will come."

I bit my lip as the overpowering shards of pleasure pierced through me. It was so good it hurt.

"Come baby," Henry coached. "Let me watch you come on me…"

While Henry thrust short jerky thrusts into me and rubbing my clit, I began to feel the build up begin in my toes.

"Oh god…please.." I knew it was going to be a strong one. I just knew it. I didn't know if I could handle it.  It kept building up as he kept on thrusting and rubbing me.

Then suddenly he stopped the hard thrusts to grind slowly into me while still pleasuring my clit with my thumb.

And his head dipped with his lips next to my ear.

"I want you to come hard, Val. While I fuck you. Take you."

And the orgasm hit.

Mercilessly.

Who knew words could be so strong? The fact that this nice jolly guy had just said something so dirty and hot to me while rubbing one of my most sensitive spots all the while being inside of me...how could I not come.

I exploded, my walls spastic around him. I was quivering all over. All my limbs were subjugated by the pleasure of the orgasm. I saw stars, the whole nine. Above me Henry moaned my name as I came hot and heavy all over him.

I had never come over another man before.

This sent him over the edge because he held my hips tightly, almost abrasively and thrust hard into me a couple of times.

"Henry!" I called out to him, feeling his explosion before it came and Henry wound his arms around my waist extremely tight. Him so close to me I could feel his chest, arm, thigh, and leg muscles tense. His teeth trapped some skin on my neck and he bit as he silently came. I moaned at the sting on my neck and clung onto him. When he finally expelled his withheld breath, he grunted deeply and collapsed heavily on top of me.

He panted heavily into my hair and some of his curls tickled my cheek once he'd spent all his release into the condom, his arms still coiled protectively around my waist. I lay there replete from all that had happened, so much that I couldn't move a muscle. Was this real life?

When Henry began to move off of me and pull out of me, I made a protesting sound and tried to wrap my legs and arms around him. While I had expected him to leave me after the fact like George had began to do, I hadn't expected my instant response to latch onto him. I didn't want him to ever leave this bed. As of now, I never wanted either of us to leave this room.

"Shh. It's okay, I'm here," he told me with soft kisses. He slid out of me with a light moan and kept his arms around me as his entire body now cupped mine from behind.

My entire body was singing as I drifted to sleep, enjoying the feel of Henry's rapid heartbeat slowing to a steady pace against my back as he buried the lower half of his face on my neck. I loved the feel of his lashes tickling my shoulder as he laid to sleep.

I had never really fit in much growing up, but never in my life had I felt so much like I belonged as I did that moment in Henry's arms.

My guard had completely broken down that night for the second time in my life. And just as that pestering panic that always seemed to follow everywhere my hope, happiness, freedom, and confidence went, the waves sounded again. Louder and clearer now that my world was no longer so involved in Henry.

The waves saved me from that darkness that followed me in my shadow and these waves reminded me that the arms I was in were Henry's not George's. Those waves reminded me that this was here and now.

Not the past.

They even made me think that, I possibly had a different future than the one I'd imagined for so long.

I would never forget the sound of the waves from that night.