The next chapter in this depressing ride!
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Chapter Five – Memories
There was silence.
Nothing by silence, a reigning silence, a deafening silence, that permeated the air in this tightly closed compartment. There was no music, no conversations; all was really quiet in this western front. I was riding in the backseat of a shiny black car that had been sent to me. Had this been any other moment in time, had this been anything but what it was, I would have looked at this engine-propelled carriage of the modern age with rose-colored glasses. No doubt it was an expensive piece of machine. Impressive really, the way the wheels seemed to glide on top of the city-streets as though gliding on air. The spacious invigorating anterior with comfortable leather seats almost lured me into a false sense of security.
Almost being the operative word.
The fact was thus, there were two other people in the vehicle making it impossible for me to relax. Hermes, the bearer of bad news, thankfully was sitting on the passenger seat, in front and away from me. I was unhappy, and I was entirely sure my feeling was embedded on my face. I was angry; I doubt he would have appreciated my glowering eyes that had I possessed x-ray vision would no doubt burn holes on the back of his seat as we rode onward to my doom. I was still donned in my sweats, having refused to change into the items HE had sent for me. I tried to distract my self by looking outside the window to the city streetlights that illuminated the night sky. It was brazenly beautiful. I leaned against the window pane, breathing the fresh night air, and I tried not to think about what would happen soon. But because I forced my mind not to think of the future, my thoughts instead drifted to the past.
"It concerns your brother"
Thirteen days ago, a little after the sun had sat I found myself in the same inescapable situation that I find myself in the present. Riding in the backseat of a car sent to me by a stranger, with Hermes sitting in the front accompanied by a very different driver. In my mind, all I could think about was Ty and what this stranger, this Liam Caldwell, who I had never heard of, had to do with my brother. I had tried to talk to the man sent to me, wanting to know more about this man who so much wanted to see me and talk to me that he had deemed to send a car and my very own guide. But all I got was misdirection, I was more than curious, and I don't think I was thinking at all about how stupid and moronic it was to get into a car with strange men and going for a ride.
I had just lost my senses as soon as my brother was intently placed in the conversation. The car stopped in a high-style neighborhood in front of a dark-illuminated building and followed my guide in through the doors. There was a doorman who opened the door for us, pretty high class. There was also a desk-agent, as though this was some sort of corporation that needed to monitor the people that came in and out. The desk agent was a man with olive skin who did give me a look, a look I absolutely ignored as I moved past him to the elevators.
"Is Mr. Caldwell a doctor or something?" I asked as we rode up the elevator, hoping that I would at least have this question answered, if felt really as though I was talking to a stonewall.
"He is not a physician" Hermes answered, his face looking at the elevator door.
"Then what does he have to do with my brother?" I asked, feeling confused and confounded.
"He only wishes to help" Hermes spoke once more and then fell silence, a silence that lasted forever.
That made no sense to me at all, how could this man who wasn’t a doctor help my brother? What could he do or offer that expects hadn’t offered? But what could he do? I would do anything to help my brother. The elevator stopped at the top floor, the penthouse. There were two doors as we got out that I could see, one on the left and another on the right. My guide turned to the right, and gave a knock before completely opening the door. I tried right away to curb my curious by peeking through this tall man in front of me. I couldn’t but it was all well because my curious did not take long to be curbed.
"Ms. Jenkins to see you, sir"
"Oh yes" The accent of an Englishman vibrated in the air, beautiful and foreign.
It was a sexy voice, I thought to myself as I walked into the apartment and the voice completely gave the right impression of the owner.
"Come in" The Englishman said, a man who was vaguely familiar to me, man who was I could only assume was Liam Caldwell who was seating in a velvet couch with his legs crossed. I had never seen him so close before, I had never thought for a second that I would have had the opportunity to do so. I had to admit, ashamed as I was to have thought it, that I found him quiet the attractive specimen. "Please seat"
I did as I was directed, choosing to seat opposite him in a love seat. I was staring, and even though knowing how terribly rude it had to be I could not help myself. He didn’t seem to find my trance-like gaze as disturbing as I did at that moment. Probably because, and there was no doubt in my mind, he was used to this kind of attention and admiration.
"Would you like a spot of tea" He asked, trapping my eyes in his gaze and my breath hitched as he did, finding his deep blue eyes an ocean that I could drown in. There was a momentary silence, and only the slight movement of his left eyebrow rising broke what I could only assume to be a spell of some kind.
"No, thank you" I answered quickly as soon as my brain caught up with the question he had asked.
"Coffee then?"He said, his tone undoubtedly a question mark, for some reason I found myself unable to answer having lost not just my senses but the sound of my voice as well. I shook my head as an answer, "Some water then perhaps" Again all I could provide was a shake of the head, at that he looked above my head, "you may go"
I had all but forgotten that we weren’t alone and when I turned Hermes was walking out, the door slammed shut.
Like a bang, my mind rewinding that moment, the moment the door slammed shut sealing me to my inescapable fate. And I was reliving that moment in my mind, wishing that I could turn time to that unpreventable instant, stand up and run out with my sanity and body intact. But how could I have known then what I know now? All I could do now was try not to cry over the spoiled milk. It was shameful to think, to admit to myself that I had found him attractive. That his outer appearance, his beauty, had placed me under an inexorable spell then and that I had certainly felt something inside me. If at that time, he had shown any type of remediable qualities, had he been kind or thoughtful perhaps I would have given myself and given my body without the mental aguish that now seemed to attack my mind, devouring my harsh relentless thoughts. There was no doubt why I didn’t want to go to this supper. I was afraid…
"How curious?" His alluring voice entered my subconscious once again, drawing me in the images that played out in my mind, like sequences of a movie. His gaze was direct and steady and it made my body flash in heat, made my heart race, and my throat hot. I suddenly wished I had taken him up at that offered of a cup of water.
"I'm sorry" I said, baffled by his choice of words, "What's curious?"
"You" He said leaning towards me, his legs uncrossed. "Don't you want to know why you are here?"
"Why am I here?" I asked in a whisper, feeling the temperature in the room rise.
"Why do you think you are here?" He retaliated with a question of his own.
"The man that brought me here said that you can help my brother" I said, unsure all the sudden.
"Then I am afraid there had been a misunderstanding" He said, "I'm not a doctor"
"He said that too" I said back.
"Yet here you are" He stated, bemused at my expense. I felt as though I was being tested all the sudden, as though I had been apprehended under false charges and suddenly his blinding beauty was fading. And I felt a surge of irritation.
"Look Mister" I said, my voice calm and steady regardless of the impatient feelings swirling inside of me, "My brother is sick, very sick, there is a something wrong with his heart and I see him struggling to breathe on his own whenever I see him, he is just a little boy and he is in pain. If you can help, I will...I am willing to do anything"
"Anything" He repeated, and then leaned back giving me a look, a strange look, one that had taken me a while to identify. The look of a predator, of a scorpion before it decided to sting, of a poisonous snake before it decided to strike, of a wild lion before showing its biting teeth. "That is quite the dangerous word"
I drew in a breath as I remembered that look, gasping in air to my hot lungs. The twinkling lights of the now empty streets seemed to have dimmed along with the path of my thought and the illicit charm of Edison’s invention, the fascination of it all escaped me for a while. It seemed to me as I thought more and more about my destination, and the past that revealed the hidden blunders of my future, that the brightness of the city lights would dim as we passed each and every pole. Tendrils of shadow descending from the heavens, from the earth and appearing seemly from the very air itself, simmered into view, depressing me with the darkness. It seemed as if time was slowing down, no…not the time, the car. Finally we had reached our destination. The car stopped, and Hermes got out and opened the door for me. I glanced out, feeling the cool air entering the warm interior of the car. I sighed, trying to gather the courage that I knew I had deep down inside me and got out.
It looked like an old-fashioned building, like an old-world apartment that was only three stories high. There was a fancy sign on top of the double doors with the words QUALITY on top in silver italics. I glanced back at the car; the driver who I hadn't given much thought too was staring right at me. Blond hair, blue eyes, and younger that I thought. He gave me a smile but I didn't feel much like reciprocating. Hermes opened the door for me, gesturing for me to go inside first. I walked to find a stand holding a book and two concierges. Thin, white, wearing black suit that included a skirt, white blouse, and suit jacket. One had blond hair and the other black hair, each tied to the back in an immaculate ponytail. They were very pretty, some might say beautiful, a representation to what QUALITY was all about. Both wore these half-smiles that fell away as soon as I walked in. I could feel both of them looking at me, up and down perusing my attire while I was looking down a hallway. The floor was covered in a dark purple carpet; the silvery/blue walls were lined by hanging sconces that somewhat lighted the way.
"Good evening ma'am, welcome to QUALITY" The blond one said, opening her big black book, "Do you have a reservation?"
"Does she look like she has a reservation?" The black haired woman leaned towards the blond and whispered, or at least she thought she had but I did hear her. The turned to me a fake face plastered on her face, "Do you need any help? Can we help you get somewhere? The subway perhaps?"
It was a surreal moment really and honestly took me by surprised. It was like the cherry to top my already shitty day to have a woman, one I had never met before judging me with just one look. It hit me hard and I felt a flush of anger, I could have said something or done something. I did think about doing something, feeling a surge of violence. Indeed I even took a threatening step intending to do something, I am not sure what exactly I could have done but before I could even process my options Hermes walked in.
"Is there a problem Ms. Jenkins?" He asked giving the black haired woman a look, and I knew that he had heard her statement.
I wondered if that was a valid question, because it was then yes there was a problem and dealing with some thin little twit with a big mouth and small brains was like the least of my problem. I wanted to say that but all I did to express my inner fury was to snap my head at him, my eyes flashing something fierce. I must have looked like medusa because I could have sworn that he actually took a half-step back. I blamed him for this situation I found myself in. If he hadn't approached me that day? I took a sigh, closing down the many tirades going on in my head.
"No" I finally said, and looked back at the woman and smiled, "Nothing worth a damn, that’s for fucking sure"
"Please escort Ms. Jenkins to Master Liam's table" He said, "Not you Elisa"
Elisa the brunette was about to lead before she was stopped. The look on her face was like one of the damned and for a moment there I felt sorry for her. I started thinking for all the horrible things that could happen. That maybe she could lose her job, get drunk, meet someone for a one night stand and wind up pregnant and then have to quit college and next thing she is living in a run-down apartment crawling with rats and cockroaches. And interesting enough, my conscience refused to give a damn as I followed Blondie to my doom. I did start to wonder just why Hermes seemed to have a bit of power here. My thoughts flew out of my head as we came to an opening as I was suddenly overwhelmed by the vision before me. The room was littered with circular table, white tables for two with flickering candles in the middle. The room was brilliantly beautiful, and on the right was a small stage in which a few musicians played the most romantic of music.
And there were people
A lot of people, all couples, and from the passing glance I took on the whole, all white. A room filled with white couples, wearing evening gowns and looking at me as I passed by as though I was an extra-terrestrial. And I was, wearing my sweats, with my brass braids tied behind my back, with my dark skin; I might as well be an alien. I had never felt more like an outsider. Suddenly Elisa's statement had merit because I could feel the eyes, and I could only speculate the judgments running through. I felt foolish, unsure of myself. I wished that I had instead worn the gown HE had sent to me; maybe then I wouldn't have to feel like I had just stepped into another planet. I followed Blondie, my steps caught between wanting to rush past the tables so I wouldn't have to feel those strange eyes on me and wanting to drag my feet so I didn't have to reach HIM. I didn't have anything planned; my heart was beating so fast and my body tingling with nerves. Finally the concierge slowed as we got to the circular hidden alcoves at the back of the room, we went up the sandstone steps then passed the four alcoves, almost hidden from the customers in the main floor. The alcoves were small, hidden but still housed the same table with candles, only more private and intimate and empty. Then we reached the final alcove, and the concierge stopped at the opening looking at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and a step.
There HE was...
The devil himself, the monster I had been dreaming about for the past two weeks. The man that had ruthless taken my virginity, and paid me for it. He was seating, turned away from me so the first thing I saw was his back. Then Blondie spoke, calling his name and he turned. His deep ocean eyes met my brown eyes and oh my, did I suddenly feel faint. And I suddenly knew why I was so afraid of seeing him again.
I was still drawn to him.
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