James. My best man friend who swore that he would never fall in love with me. I don't blame him because the night we met I was sitting on the floor eating wings in the elevator lobby. What would follow would be a friendship that many people thought would blossom into a relationship but a year as friends and I can say that this is not the case. Sure, we may flirt from time to time but James and I know- a relationship will never happen. 

After James pledged into his fraternity I saw less and less of him and my following semester abroad didn't help. When I came back we were right  back in the swing of things. Inviting me over to hang out with him and meet some of his brothers was on the agenda for the night I met him. Him being Ian. Although saying we met would be a bit of a stretch...

I was sitting with a Coors in my hand and watching James miserably playing beer pong. Laughing with a few friends I suddenly noticed the handsome man that walked in. Our eyes locked and I slowly lowered my beer as he continued staring at me while also talking to James. I blushed lightly and pushed a piece of my hair back smiling when I noticed that he was still looking- as if he was wondering "where has this goddess appeared from?".

"I wish I could stay but I have class tomorrow," he answered James as his eyes pierced into my soul.

The rooms temperature rose and I was flustered. The mix of the beer and his eyes roaming my body had me running for the hills. Then he left. Leaving my mind filled with the questions, "Who the hell was that?! Does James know him?! Was he really staring at me?!"

When he left my mind returned back to normal, somewhat, before I walked over to James asking him everything about the hunk who just walked in. I kept trying to shake it from my mind but he had a hold on me. 

"Who was that?" I asked James as he dropped the ping pong ball into water aiming for his opponents cup. I already knew the eye roll that would occur accompanied by the "Tiffany is back in action!" 

"Ian. He's a brother," he said practically ignoring the fact that we had been undressing each other with our eyes. 

"Ian….." I pressed for the last name.r32;r32;"Gandolfini" He answered then finally faces me, "Tiffany. Don't you even-"

"He's gorgeous!" I pleaded with him.

James always had a knack for being the mediator between whoever I thought I should date. Granted my past boyfriend wasn't necessarily the best person to be with and I completely understand why James doesn't want to leave my love life in my own hands. 

"Okay," James said with a defeated shrug, he knew I was already in over my feet.

This was our relationship. James reached out to me if he needed a females advice and I reached out to him either if he knew a guy I liked or if I just needed a couple words of motivation. Truthfully speaking, when I first met James I thought about a possibility of a relationship and imagined what would happen if we dated. I pictured the fairytale romance, perfect children but then James uttered the words that threw me in the friend zone forever: I'm not attracted to black girls.  To which I then asked him, "Am I ugly?!". Of course he responded no but would add, you're like my sister. So I moved on. Moving on simply meant focusing my attention on other guys.

Last time it was a guy named Brendan. He was a senior on the basketball team and noticed me on my first day on campus. I didn't know who he was. But what I did know was that he was an extremely attractive guy. Normally I don't tend to fall for black guys but his green eyes did it for me. What followed was a whirlwind relationship of traveling to see his games, children stopping us in the mall to take pictures with him. I was the star athletes girlfriend and the naive freshman. I didn't think much of it until he did what everyone warned me of. Cheating. Cheating on me whenever he had the chance as well as having his own little mistress on campus. Finding all this information out in the middle of the Final Four, I sucked it up for my university and did not cause drama to deflect his attention away from the game. I stayed, knowing that while I was attending this game in Atlanta for him there was also another one of his hoes tucked away in this crowd.

He not only lost the game, but he lost me a few hours after the game also.

But enough about this ex of mine…Let's get back to Ian.

I didn't see Ian for what felt like an eternity and being the low self esteem girl that I am, I found myself another boyfriend in the mean time. Those two weeks after I saw Ian I was hitched with another basketball player. My friends still on the team introduced us and soon enough we were hooking up and eventually dating, much to James' approval. This guy had NBA bound written all over him. So I was obviously stuck with the dilemma of, "am I with this guy for the right reason?" Eventually I walked away and Ian walked right back in.

I was sitting on James' couch after what seemed like the longest week of my life. 2 papers due and a presentation that needed to be perfected I needed a place to just zone out and watch TV. James' room. Grabbing beers and having our usual banter on the couch in walks Ian…

"James are you going to the social tonight?" Ian asked without looking at me.

I looked at him hoping to have some type of eye connection again. I hadn't seen him in about a month. Had he thought about me? Obviously not.

James catching on to my longing glances towards him proceeded to introduce us, "Oh by the way Ian this is Tiffany. Tiffany meet Ian, he's a brother."

"Hi Ian" my voice felt foreign to me as I offered a handshake.

"Hi" he said with a smile but soon resumed his attention back to James.

Watching the conversation end he said goodbye to James without so much as a glance towards me. I couldn't hide my disappointment and James caught whiff of it and told me to suck it up because I was too beautiful to be running from man to man… He's right but its one thing to say it and another thing to live it. 

The following week I seemed to run into Ian everywhere on campus. He looked at me knowing who I was but didn't smile or offer any warming conversation starters. It was the usual staring. It left me flustered and confused and once again Ian fell into the backdrop. I was back on the prowl and soon enough found myself swept up again by the NBA bound basketballer. It all happened again, attending the games, known around campus. But I just really wanted to be able to settle down with someone without having anyone and everyone in my business. 

Valentines day came and passed, St. Patricks day followed and I hadn't seen Ian in what felt like forever. By now, NBA boy and I had fallen out again. James was by me the entire way though. Throughout the entire time, the past 3 months, I kept nagging him about Ian. Information, girlfriends, women he slept with, and with the Facebook stalking I did I knew quite a deal of things. James was resistant to being my ultimate wingman. He claimed that guys just don't talk about girls like that- which I found hard to believe. So we schemed.

It was a warm day when he told me to go into Ian's room next door to go get him. Knocking slowly on the door, I opened and there laid out on the couch in all his glory was Ian.

"Hey, you're Ian right?" I said softly, "James is looking for you."

"Yeah!" Ian said getting up, "You're, Tt-Tiffany!"

Judging off the way he reacted when we were introduced I was shocked to say the least that he remembered my name.

"How did you remember my name?" I asked with a sweet laugh walking over to James' room.

"James mentions you a lot," he smiled back to me.

"Oh God- good things right?" I smiled back to him.

"Terrible things," he smiled to me again and opened the door for me. "You sent HER to get me really!" He yelled out to Jim.

I laughed and noticed his odd position of him now laying on the ground face up in front of James and his arms stretched out with his arm seemingly wanting to touch my leg. ESPN was on the TV which allowed me to watch for a bit while they discussed Frat things. I don't remember what exactly was happening but I remembered seeing Madison Square Garden which immediately made me say, "I miss home."

"Where you from?" Ian asked me bluntly.

"Long Island," I said still looking at the screen showing MSG.

"Lawng eye land," he mimicked my accent making me laugh and push my hair back.

"I should get going," I said softly to James, "I need to make dinner."

I left James' room seemingly renewed with energy. Our first actual encounter. It took months in the making, literally months, but that moment seemed worth the entire wait. Little did I know that this little encounter would soon create an avalanche in my life...