It seems as though I’ve always been late for everything. While all the other boys were growing taller with muscles, I was still scrawny with a screechy voice. Every single day of my middle school years I was reminded of that. I can remember being in the lockeroom one day after the class had to run laps around the football field and I had just gotten out of the shower. My towel was wrapped tightly around my waist for a certain reason. My height and voice weren’t the only thing to bloom late.

In walks Nick Young, the black Adonis. Rumor had it that he was working with something even Becky Spencer couldn’t handle. Suddenly the room became quiet. Too quiet. Then out of nowhere my towel was ripped right off of me. The lockeroom exploded with laughter.

I grabbed my towel and ran as fast as my short legs could manage. Everyone was singing “Centimeter Peter, Centimeter Peter”. When I arrived home from school the situation got even worse. My grandma even back then was one hell of a spitfire. I tried to play it off as if nothing happened until she threatened to wear nothing but a g-string, tube top, and platform heels outside. Immediately I told her what happened. For a second I believed she took what happened pretty well. She cooked dinner, we ate, and then we said goodnight to each other. The next schoolday in first period seemed normal. Nick and his friends were still singing that damn song.

Our teacher Mr. Johnson was writing notes on the board. Voices were heard and they seemed to be growing closer. I recognized both voices. One belonged to Principal Pepper, the other my grandma. Nick had just asked to be excused to the bathroom. As he was getting closer to the door, it swung open. There was my grandma with a switch in her hands.

“ You, I’ll show ya a centimeter peter!” she yelled. Nick started to runaway, but not before she got in a couple of licks to his legs. Mr. Johnson tried to stop her, but somehow she made her way around him and Principal Pepper. Finally the police were called and my grandma was arrested. Since she knew the sheriff and his family so well, she was let go later that evening with a warning.

Today I’m proud to say that I am a grown man. Yep, things are finally starting to look up for me. I can feel it in the air.

“ Daniel get your ass downstairs and help this young lady!”

This is not what it seems. No, I’m not a twenty five year old man still living with his grandma. That would be crazy.

“ If you don’t get down here in five seconds I’ll start singing that song. And you know what song I’m talking about too!”

My name is Daniel Latebloom, welcome to my life.