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The True Measure

Chapter 13

John purchases the items on Evangeline’s list; has each item wrapped per her instructions; and has tags placed on each wrapped gift to know which belongs to whom.  He makes sure to choose some really nice thank you cards.  After securing those items in his car John makes another purchase that is not on the list.  

He realizes that he needs to return to the hospital so that Evangeline can handle the gift cards but he’s trying to delay his return so that she has time to think about what he said to her before he left her room.  He didn’t plan to say all of that but it was on his heart and simply flowed forth from his heart to his mouth.  He knows that he surprised her but she surprised him too by slapping him.  It shook him up a bit but it also gave him a new perspective on how he has behaved or not behaved with her.  He evidently gives the wrong signals so he wanted to avoid any misunderstandings and said what he wanted to say.  It might have even angered her more than when she thought he was crying because he was blaming himself for her kidnapping.  She was wrong about that but he can see how she might think that.  In the past he always seemed to blame himself for everything.  How vain can one man get?  Everything is not about you John McBain.  It’s getting late and John knows that Evangeline will wonder where he is.  John goes home to shower and change.  He leaves the wrapped presents in his car’s trunk but puts the thank you cards on the front passenger seat so he doesn’t forget to take them with him when he returns to the hospital.  Finally showered, shampooed, shaved and dressed, John retrieves one last thing from his closet.

John makes his way back to the hospital but calls ahead to let Evangeline know that he’s on his way.  He really called so that she would possibly make sure that her mother isn’t there when he arrives.  Her mother is not one of his fans and he would rather not have to deal with her tonight.  Knowing just why John calls ahead Evangeline does convince her mother to leave so that everyone is spared any harsh words from either her mother or John.  

Bathed and dressed in her own pajamas Evangeline is sitting on the bed reading a book when John walks in to her hospital room.  John gives her the thank you cards and she takes them and starts to complete each one with special words for the individual recipients.  While she does that John sits on the chair by her bed and puts another bag on the dresser next to her bed.  He stopped by Rodi’s to get her a burger, fries and a soda.  He’s sure that she wants to eat something else other than hospital food, which is usually not very tasty, and plus Michael told him about their conversation when she was in the cell at the station.  He sits patiently and waits for her to finish the cards. It doesn’t take long to finish and once completed she hands them to John so that he can attach them to the presents.  With a satisfied look on her face she says, 

“I’m glad that you followed my instructions Lieutenant.  I did decipher the code contained in your earlier phone call and made sure that my mother left before you arrived.  Is that a burger and fries that I smell? Yum, yum.”  

John hands the bag to her and she quickly starts eating the fries. She doesn’t even offer him any so he takes one.  She pouts, “Why did you take my French fry?  Didn’t you bring any for yourself?”  

John responds, “What aren’t you going to share some of yours with me?”  

Evangeline looks at John then looks at her French fries and remembers a conversation that they had about French fries and smirks, “You brought these for me so I’m going to eat them.  Get your own.”  

John laughs and pulls another bag from beneath his chair. In it he has his own burger, French fries and soda. “I came prepared,” he says and eats his food as she eats her food.  

They talk about what they did since he left but do not address John’s statement about loving her.  John knows that Evangeline is building up to that moment and he will let her address it when she feels comfortable doing so.  They finish eating at the same time and John discards the bags and moves the eating tray away from the bed.  He sits back down and watches Evangeline.  She avoids looking at him but then she mumbles something but he doesn’t understand what she’s saying.  John leans in closer to her and asks that she speak louder because he can’t hear her.  She then turns to him and whispers, 

“I’m sorry for slapping you.  I should not have expressed my anger in that way.  I’m also sorry that I misinterpreted your reason for crying.”

John reaches over and takes her chin and turns her face towards him, 

“I accept your apology.  My actions have not always reflected my feelings so it is no wonder that they might be misinterpreted. Someone asked me to keep a secret. They knew that the truth would destroy their family.  I agreed but carrying that secret is tearing me up inside.  To keep this secret I’ve done some things that I thought were right but ended up hurting people about whom I care.”

John takes Evangeline’s hand and places a manila envelope in it. She opens the envelope and reads the contents.  How does she express her outrage without losing control but then she catches herself.  John gave his word and kept it until now. 

“Why now John? Why reveal this now?  This is that moral dilemma that kept you up at night that you couldn’t discuss with me because it involved a case.  I helped you get that DNA test.  Why didn’t you share the results with me when you got them?  Why now?”  

Evangeline tries to keep her anger in check.  John drops his head knowing that he has lost ground with her now but she has to know everything.  It’s only right.

So slowly he reveals all to her about his conversation with Cristian Vega and Cristian’s request to spare his family the knowledge that he is a murderer and that he has regained his memory.  John further explains his reasoning for always running to Natalie’s aid.  He felt responsible for Natalie’s loss of Cristian and was only trying to protect her in Cristian’s absence.  He finally says that he’s telling her now because he doesn’t want any more secrets between them. Evangeline can see in John’s eyes and read his body language.  She is an attorney after all whose success depends a great deal on being able to read people and she can see that keeping this secret has cost John dearly and ruined their relationship with interference from outside sources. What she wants to do is tell him to leave and never come back but that won’t solve anything.  Instead she says, 

“John you need to tell Antonio about this so that he can get a lawyer for Cristian.  I’m fairly certain that they can get him released for treatment at a nearby psychiatric facility.  They have grounds for a new trial or even a reversal of the conviction.”

John counters with, “But he did kill Tico Santi.” 

Evangeline responds, “But he was brainwashed so that is an extenuating circumstance.”  

John thinks for a moment and knows that she is right but it also opens up another concern for him so he voices it succinctly, 

“What if Antonio wants you to represent Cristian?  Will you take the case?”  

Evangeline anticipated that question and has her answer ready, 

“No. I’ve worked on too many cases that caused friction in my personal life and I won’t do that again if I can avoid it and I can with this.  If Antonio asks me I will recommend some attorneys he can hire. Antonio once told me that no case is worth my happiness and I didn’t listen to him then.  I won’t make that mistake again.  John you do realize that this information may result in obstruction of justice charges against you?  You might want to get a lawyer too.  And before you ask, NO, I won’t represent you either. I’m staying clear of this whole mess even though I could possibly get included since I did help you get that sample from Carlotta.  Well I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.  After all that I’ve been through in the last month getting called out for obtaining a DNA sample is the least of my concerns.  So Lieutenant I suggest that you go now to Antonio, take the DNA test with you.  Use the same explanation about Cristian asking you to keep his secret to spare his family and go from there.  Good luck.”

John knows that she let him off easy so he won’t press the issue. In an effort to give him some encouragement Evangeline tells him before he leaves, 

“If you want to you can stop by here after you talk with Antonio if you want a shoulder to cry on.  Anyway you have to come by tomorrow to tell me everyone’s reaction to my presents.”

John smiles, “I will take you up on your offer because I will definitely need some cheering up after talking with Antonio.  As to reporting on reactions, your protection team members do not all work the same shifts so I will have to leave their presents with the Sergeant on the Desk (SOD).”

“Okay, okay I get the picture, that’s alright.  I just hope that they like them,” Evangeline moans as she puts her head on her pillow slowly dozing off to sleep.  

John bends over and kisses her forehead and leaves the room but as the door closes behind him he hears her say, 

“I love you too John.”