“Momma please.  At least try to drink your tea.” The woman had childishly refused her breakfast, sayin that if June Bug didn’t walk in that door, she wasn’t eating. She’d held up until about noon and everybody at the table started to hear her stomach rumble and groan in protest. 

    “Gammy…” Cloudy grey eyes lifted and slid to hers. 

    “You think he’d be happy? Seein you like this?” 

    “Kotani!” But it was true and she couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore. She didn’t care if she got in trouble. Finding Gam’s diary was the best thing that happened to her and she didn’t regret a single thing. That seemed to strike a cord within her and for the longest, she stared at the ice tea in front of her. Beads of sweat inched down the glass and the ice clinked together at the top. Reasons why her eyes filled with tears as she forced the cold liquid down were discovered later on. The two girls and their mama all breathed an audible sigh of relief as they watched her down the whole glass. 

    “Thank you Momma. Want some more?” 

    “Yeah.” She said, throat full of tears. 

    “Tani, try to put a lil bitta lunch on a plate. See if Gammy’ll eat it.”

    “Yes ma’am.” Hopping to it, she gladly brought a small plate to the table and to their delight, she slowly picked up the food with her fingers and brought it to her mouth. Seeing their Gam eat for the first time in days brought relief to them and they began to eat their own lunch, small smiles drifting up on their faces. After lunch, the girls decided to bring the journal down from the attic, their reading it no longer a secret. Sitting in the foyer, the girls happened upon the next entry, lad to be near their Gam. 

*** 

    Nineteen Hundred and Thirty Eight 

Twenty fifth of September

    “How’s he doin Kira?” Looking up into the grim face of her mother, she swallowed thickly. 

    “Doin a’right I think. His swellin goin down. And he startin to get some color back.”

    “Thank Gawd.”

    “Yeah.”

    “He talkin yet?” 

    “No…not much.” Since it happened, he’d been uncharacteristically quiet. It made her sad. Sad to see him change. But then after an experience like that… who wouldn’t change? 

    “I made him some soup. Y’all welcome to it when y’all ready.”

    “Thanks Mama.” Giving a brave smile, she left the two of them alone. Since finding them on the porch days ago, Mama had become like a mother hen, not letting either one of them outta her sight. When Mama and Papa got home, they were horrified to find her and Joon in that same spot, her tears having soaked through his thin undershirt. She tried to keep her voice from wavering when she told them what happened but she failed. Mama hugged her tightly and began to cry, her tears mending the pain in hers. Unlike hers, hers were tears of thankfulness and perhaps sorrow. It took all of them to get him into the house and she wasn’t satisfied until he laid on the cot in her and Lily’s room.

    “Joon?” Though his face still held swelling, at least now you could see his eyes again. He stirred, turning to face her. 

    “You hungry sugah?” Licking his lips, he nodded some before turning to press his head against her chest. Feeling her heart swell, she gently cradled him close. 

    “We’ll eat then okay? And then I run you a bath. Okay?”

    “A’right.” His voice was quiet and soft, two things he was normally not.

    “I bring it in okay? Stay here.” His eyes watched her get up and leave the room. Coming to sit on the edge of the cot, he gripped the straw mattress tightly, fingers turning white. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and for a while, he couldn’t move. The door opened and she came back in with two bowls of steaming soup and some freshly baked bread. She was about to open her mouth when she caught his gaze. Watery with tears, it wasn’t sadness she saw. No, he trembled with rage and it scared her. She’d never seen him look like that. 

    “Joon…” He inhaled through his nostrils and pulled her against him, holding on tight to her. She gripped the bowls, trying not to spill them. He took a bowl from her and began to eat, even asking for her bowl which she gladly gave him. Seeing him eat so heartily brought a small smile to her and she watched him eat it all up until it was gone. Mama and Lily cleaned up just as she poured the last bucket of heated water into the basin. 

    “June Bug come on! It’s ready.” She didn’t hear any reply but soon she found him already with his shirt off. 

    “Gon get in.” He slowly stepped out of his trousers and obliged, hissing as he slowly sank into the hot water. 

    “Too hot?”

    “Just fine darlin.”

    “Good.” She came behind him and leaned his head back against her chest. Putting a sweet kiss on his lips, she grabbed a rag and began to gently wash him. 

    “This beats them baths of ice don’t it?” She attempted to joke but it didn’t rouse a humored response from him. In reality, those baths were terrifying. He’d shiver and shake so violently, the water would splash on the ground. She had to start getting in with him to get him to stop, her presence calming him down. 

    “Kira..” 

    “Hm?” She asked, scrubbing his chest carefully. 

    “Thank you.” Smiling against his hair, she let the rag drift out of her fingers and hugged him. 

    “Don’t thank me. It’s what I’m here for.”

    “But,”

    “Hush now sweet man a mine. Hush.” He closed his eyes and relaxed into her, letting her do as she wished. When he was all clean, she helped dry him off and get him into bed. He watched her yawn and snuggle closer to him. Reaching over, he grasped her hand and slowly brought it to his lips. Smiling sleepily, she inched closer and closer until she pressed her face against his chest, slipping a small leg in between his. Lifting a hand, he caressed her curls and pressed his forehead against hers. Seduced by her warm little body, he surrendered up to the sleep that egged him and it was the first night he slept all the way through. 

***

    His recovery hadn’t been easy and the thought of those rough nights struggling to keep him still in the ice cold water still brings tears to my eyes. The rope marks around his neck slowly faded and the swelling in his face continued to go down. Pa had sent for a doctor and initally, he’d gawked over Joon’s broken body, expressing his shock and wonder at him being alive. He didn’t know like I did…that Joon’s spirit was too tough to be broken. Over the next few weeks, he got better and better. But, the joy of his complete recovery didn’t last long. Fore we got a rude awakening one morning. 

*** 

    “WAKE UP YOU LAZY NIGGERS!” Jumping, she felt her heart thrash in her chest. To her surprise, Joon was up already and he leaned over the window, staring out intently. 

    “What’s goin on?”

    “Don’t know but I’m sure as hell about to find out.” He growled ominously and turned on his heel. 

    “Joon, wait!”  She hurriedly slipped into her dress and buttoned it up until she looked somewhat decent. Turning the corner, she found him putting on his shoes. 

    “You wait a minute now! Don’t go out there and get killed!” She said, reaching for his hand. 

    “You jus got better.” 

    “COME ON OUT FORE I COME IN THERE!” She recognized the voice. Mr. Du Pont. Their landlord from hell. Buttoning an extra button or two, she had her hand on the door knob just as Mama, Papa and Lily came to join them. 

    “What the sam hell goin on?” Lily.

    “Mister Pont don’t sound happy.” Mama lamented, face growing grim. 

    “Well let’s gon face the bastard.” Pa said gruffly, moving her out of the way. He opened the door and stepped out first. 

    “Good morning Mister Dupon.” 

    “Save me that bullshit Jimmy.”

    “What’s tha matter?”

    “Where’s that heifa of a wife you got? Bring her out here too.” She didn’t have to be called because she stepped forward, coming to stand right next to her man. 

    “Mornin Mister Pont.” 

    “I gotta question for you Tommie.”

    “Yessuh.”

    “What in the hell happened to the quota you promised me you’d finish by today?” She looked confused. 

    “It shoulda been in the storehouse Mister Pont.”

    “Well it wasn’t. Not a licka cotton was found.” 

    “That can’t be!” She rushed out, voice hard. His eyes lit up and he grinned, stewy brown teeth making her stomach furl up into a knot. 

    “Well well if it ain’t the youngest gal. Kira right?” She gripped her dress behind her. 

    “Yessuh.” He slid his eyes down her body. 

    “You don growed up mighty fine haven’t you?” She didn’t reply to that, instead found herself back behind a strong chest, hands tightly gripping her waist. The lustful glow in his eye dimmed and everybody grew quiet as the tension zapped through the air. 

    “I know you.” He spoke, voice steely. 

    “I know you too.” June Bug replied, voice sharp enough to slice.

    “You friends with these niggers?”

    “What business is it of yours you pocky faced bastard?” The two that were with him began to howl with laughter, eyes taking in the man, every muscle in his body ready for a fight.

    “Joon! Stop..” She laid her hands on his forearms. 

    “Calm down. Don’t cause no trouble.” But he couldn’t calm down. Not while that lazy eyed bitch eye fucked her, undressing her with every bat of his eyelashes. He moved her behind him, making DuPont grin, brown spittle oozed down his chin. He didn’t even bother wiping it away, turning eyes towards the man of the house.

    “Y’all got till sundown to get me my cotton.” He spit the stinky liquid at him. 

    “If you don’t, I’m not sure even Kira here will be enough payment.” He laughed before turning and starting to head to his car. He gripped her tight enough to hurt as they watched him drive away. 

    “Get to the store house.” Papa ordered, heading towards the backyard. They all scrambled to make it there and once the doors were shoved open, their hearts sank. 

    “Where the hell did it go? We put it here. We even put the extra here too.” Lily exclaimed, walking in further. Mama started to cry, covering her face with her tired weathered hands. 

    “He burnt it.” Joon’s voice brought their attention to him. 

    “He did what?”

    “You don’t smell it? The ash?” Inhaling deeply, she felt fury light her up. It faintly smelled like smoke. 

    “That sonna bitch did burn it!” 

    “Lily! Watch your mouth!” Papa reprimanded, angry eyes set on her. She knew better than to talk back but she grit her jaws shut before turning her gaze elsewhere. 

    “What we gon do? We can’t pick that much cotton before sundown.” Mama wept, sniffling. 

    “We’ll help Mama. We ain’t got no choice.” Joon let go of her and sauntered up to the weeping woman. 

    “Don’t cry Ma. We’ll figure it out.” Delighted that he was sounding like himself again, she sniffed and pressed her face against him, letting him rub small circles in her back. 

    “I’ll get Dipp, Scat, Frog and whoever else I know know the field down here. We’ll make this work.” 

***

    Make it work we did. June Bug had gathered a big group of people. Those from church. Those from the general store. Some that was at our wedding. A tiny village of people flocked up into our plot, all ready to get to business. Tying my hair back, I didn’t bother changing out of my dress. Joon kissed my hand before pulling me out to the field and soon, old work songs drifted up in the air. 

*** 

    When DuPont strolled up the drive, the small family of them stood on the porch, faces steely despite their bodies being worn with fatigue. When he saw all the bags of cotton stretching the expanse of their porch, he whistled. It was ten times what they’d picked before and it was impressive to see.

    “Y’all jus needed a lil push now didnja?”

    “We kept our end of the deal Mister DuPont.” James Burnett Sr. said, stepping in front of the women. June Bug joined him, jaw tight. 

    “Yeah and what do you want? A reward? Ya reward is keepin this piece a shit shack as a roof ova y’all head. That’s all the reward y’all get.” Papa was about to say something when June Bug beat him to the punch. 

    “You got what you came for. Now take it and leave.” He lifted his eyebrows. 

    “You sure is ballsy boy.” 

    “Y’all devils have gone on too long without consequence and now you think you’re invincible. Someone gotta put you in place. ” He shot back, lip snarled up. DuPont grinned. 

    “You must like these animals real good to challenge me boy.” The man chuckled and whistled at his two lanky sons who started for the cotton. 

    “Everything on this piece of land belong to me.” His eyes strayed past Joon and locked dead with hers. 

    “Even them pretty grey eyes. If I wanted em, I could and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.” That made Joon tighten up and he gripped his hands together into fists. 

    “Over my dead fucking body.”  Du Pont roared with laughter and started for him. 

    
    “That can definitely be arranged.”  He came closer until they were looking at each other. 

    “Here in the good ol state of Georgia we know our place and we stay in it. Even these niggers know theirs.” Looking up at him, Du Pont sneered. 

    “Find yours before somethin mean happen to you. Or her.” He wanted to punch all the grimy teeth out of his mouth but instead, tightened his grip on the small fingers that had slipped in between his. They loaded up his car with as much as they could. 

    “I be back for the rest in the mornin.” He said dismissively, starting up the engine. Without another word, his big black Ford disappeared down the road in a cloud of dust.

***

    “How long?” 

    “What?” She asked softly, voice trembling.

    “How long he been lookin at you like that?” She licked her lips nervously as Ma came to place a plate of food in front of her. 

    “Ion quite know. Maybe since I was lil.” 

    “June Bug,” Lifting those beautiful moon eyes upward to her Mama, he clenched his jaw.

    “You needa mind yourself now. Don’t go itchin for anotha fight. Not so soon.” 

    “Yes ma’am.” He replied quietly, eying the food that was placed in front of him. 

    “You ain’t the only one who’s pissed off. But I got these here girls to think about Chanjoon. You got a wife to think about.” Nodding in silence, he inhaled deeply, breath angry.

*** 

    At the wash basin, I asked Mama how it was that June Bug knew Mr. Du Pont. Not expecting her to really know, I was very surprised when she began to tell me all about it. What she’d heard from his wife. She’d caught her up in the general store and boldly told her… proudly told her that her husband, Mr. Bill DuPont had seen Joon and I making love one day. Told her that he was horrified to see his sharecropper’s daughter rutting with some strange looking man and vowed to get to the bottom of it. 

    Reflecting back on it now, that day…inspired a nightmare. A nightmare I still see in my dreams. I found out much much later that he did it out of jealousy. The details as to his infatuation with me would come later after Joon was gone. But even so… I have never forgiven him for what he did. He threatened to take everything away from me. All of my happiness. 

*** 

    Fingers curled up around a cigarette as eyes followed every movement of the beautiful little woman in front of him.In just her shift, she knelt over a large wash basin and scrubbed against a washing board. He’d woke up to find the cot empty, the place where she’d been sleeping next to him still warm. Curiousity had led him outside and he was pleased in what he found. She lifted on the balls of her feet and used all of her strength to push the article of clothing down the board. The movement caused her shift to lift in the back and he exhaled, eyes taking in partially exposed cheeks that seemed to bob as she moved. 

    “Lookit you out here bein a creep.” Inhaling the nicotine deeply, he met the teasing eyes of his dear Lily Bean. 

    “Am not.” He replied with a grin. 

    “Are too. Didnja just get somma her honey pot?”

    “Mind ya business lil gal.” He said with a chuckle, coming to poke the forehead that peeked out of the front door. She grinned and poked out her chest. 

    “She told me you ain’t go all out. Why?” Eyes admired every inch of her body and finally she stopped, lifting on her knees to sigh and wipe sweat from her brow. 

    “One thing men need to learn is that it’s not always about them.” Interest peaked, she listened as he continued, leaning back against the edge of the door. 

    “A woman’s body is meant to be adored, appreciated and loved. A real man makes sure her pleasure comes first. Always.” 

    “My, where’d you read that?” 

    “S’not somethin you read Lily. S’only somethin you learn with maturity.” The two watched as Kira went over to the well and took the bucket of water she’d gotten and washed her face with a rag. 

    “I see.” After getting a start on laundry, she’d come back inside and started breakfast, waking up the house with the smell of sizzling bacon and hotcakes. 

    “Don’t that smell mighty good.” He mused, coming behind her, taking hold of her waist. Cheeks red, she blushed as he kissed her shoulder. 

    “Mornin June Bug.”

    “Mornin pretty gal.” 

    “Figured y’all be hungry so I fixed y’all breakfast.”

    “Whew what smellin good in here?” The two turned to see Lily and their Mama and Papa starting to rise. 

    “It’s ready so come an eat Lil.” She giggled as they all headed to the table. She fixed a plate and was about to put it down in front of her Papa when he stopped her. 

    “Serve ya husband first Kira.” Blushing, she didn’t object and placed it down in front of him, cheeks to her surprise equally as red. 

    “Thank you sweetheart.”

    “Welcome.” After serving everybody, she grabbed her own plate and sat down at the table while Papa said grace. When all was said and done, the family began to chow down, filling her heart with joy. She loved watchin everybody enjoy her cookin. 

    “Kira, ya Mama and I are goin up to Atlanta for the weekend.” Blinking in surprise at the sudden outburst, her expression matched June Bug’s and Lily’s as they all looked at them. 

    “But…who…when…” Mama laughed, putting her fork down.

    “We might be ol but we ain’t dead baby.”

    “Mama! I ain’t need that image in my head!” Lily protested, covering her face. Papa grinned quite boyishly and Mama continued, giggling, 

    “Besides, we figured we’d give the newlyweds some time alone.” Cheeks flushed. 

    “W-what about the plot?”

    “What about it? Y’all know what to do. You an Lily.” Pa said confidently as he dipped some bacon into the syrup. 

    “Yeah but…”

    “Joon’ll help you. I’m sure of it.” Now it was her turn to look at him incredulously. 

    “The last time you was in a cotton field you was seven years ol.” He grinned. 

    “No it wasn’t.”

    “Joon know these here fields like the back of his hand now Kira.”

    “We’ll only be gone for two nights now. We’ll be back before you know it.”

    “Where y’all gon stay Papa?”

    “Somewhere safe.” He offered no other reply and kissed her forehead. 

    “Mind yaselves nah.” Pursing her lips, she kept quiet as they placed their plates into the basin and went to get their trunks.With a toot of the horn, they pulled away from the house, leaving the three of them baffled. 

    “They couldn’t wait to kick us to the curb.” Lily complained, crossing her arms at the vanishing car. 

    “When’s the last time Ma and Pa went somewhere?”

    “Can’t remember when.” June Bug stretched, lifting his arms above his head. 

    “Well, let’s hop to it y’all. This field’s ripe with cotton.” Lily nodded. 

    “Might as well. Y’all know how Mr. DuPont is about his quotas.” She said heading into the house. Returning to the porch in a pair of light pants and a brassiere, she’d tied her head with a rag and held her bag, waiting for them to get a move on. 

    “You pickin like that?” She asked, glancing over her appearance. 

    “Girl, don’t question me about what I got on. You know it’s hot as hell out here. If you was wise, you’d wear the same thing.” But the only thing she did was braid her hair and pin it around her head, covering it with a rag. Finding the other two ready, they started for the large expanse of white gold, ripe for the picking. 

*** 

     One full hour in felt like four and after breaking for lunch they were back at it, picking underneath the scorching heat of the sun. It seemed to bake her skin and a dark pool of sweat soaked her dress. 

    “You think we gotta nough?” Lily asked, lifting an arm to wipe the dripping sweat from her forehead. 

    “I think so. We made quick work gals what you think?” Joon said, lifting the rag to wipe his brow. 

    “I’d say. You picked two times what Kira an I did.” He simply grinned. 

    “Seems Pa was right bout me huh Kira girl?” 

    “So you a good field hand…Don’t be boastin now.”

    “All that back talk gon get you a slap on that rumpa yours.” Lily started laughing and she pulled her close. 

    “Y’all too much. Gawd.” She sucked her teeth and hoisted her sack up on her back, Lily having let go. 

    “Y’all hungry?”

    “Starvin.”

    “Mama made some elderberry pie and homemade ice cream as a farewell present.”

    “That sounds nighty good right about now.”

    “Maybe I head down to the store and get a coupla steaks. After a day in the field, we need somethin heavy to keep us goin.”

    “While you at it, gon get us some beer.” 

    “Oh so you tryna have a party huh?”

    “Best have fun now before Ma and Pa come back right?” He skinned and grinned, winking flirtatiously at her. 

    “Mmhm, y’all gon have a whole buncha fun without me cause I’m fixin to leave y’all asses.” 

    “And go where exactly?” She asked as they made their way to the house. 

    “I got friends thank you very much.”

    “Hopefully, it’s a female friend.” June Bug said with a slight frown. 

    “Yes Dad. It’s a female friend. Gawd you act like James Burnett Jr. and Daddy all wrapped in one.”

    “Wouldn’t have it any other way. I ain’t tryna have y’all daddy bury me ten feet unda.” The two sisters smirked and finally the three unloaded their heavy prizes, fingers prick free save a few scratches she had on her fingers. 

    “A’right. I’ma get them steaks and bring back some beer.”

    “Be safe Lily. Please.”

    “Always baby sistah. Always.” Waving at them, Lily headed into the house and returned, short sleeved shirt on. 

    “Drive my car Lily.” June Bug said, grabbing hold of her waist and setting her up onto the porch. 

    “Cool.”

    “Bring it back in one piece hear?”

    “Yeah yeah yeah.” Fanning herself, she headed into the kitchen and washed her hands in the basin. 

    “You did good out there Kira girl.” Turning, she found Joon eying her and the look within them was predatory. 

    “T-Thank you. You did a’right yaself.” He’d plucked his sweat soaked shirt off and Gawd help her he glistened with the sweat of the field. Shined like a golden penny. Her entire mouf dry dry. 

    “Want some ice tea?” She asked, stooping to open the ice box, pulling out the pitcher and an ice tray. 

    “Iced tea no.” He replied, starting to come around the side of the large freestanding cabinet. She gripped the counter as he neared her, coming to hover over her. 

    “J-Joon…”

    “I want somethin else.” Her cheeks blushed but she didn’t move from him. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her bottom lip. Lifting hands to his chest, she pressed her palms flat against his skin, warm and flushed from the heat.  Humming against her mouth, he slowly began to unbutton her dress, kissing every inch of exposed skin. 

    “You’re burnin up darlin.” He dipped low to kiss her shoulder and she let her head fall back, soon assaulted by his lips. 

    “Let me cool you off sweetheart.” Somethin cold slid down her skin, bringing a sharp gasp to her. It glided across her hot flesh, making her shiver in delight. 

    “How’s that feel?” He asked, leaving a cold wet trail down the center of her stomach. 

    “Good…” She breathed as another cube circled one of her breasts. Moaning softly, the cold instantly caused her nipple to tighten. Wetness started up in between her thighs and it seemed to gush as he pulled the sensitive little mass into his mouth, melting the ice with the heat of his tongue. 

    “Joon….” Groaning softly against her, he sucked loudly before letting go of her. His breath was warm as it floated up across her neck and cool lips took hers, making her melt like putty under him. He didn’t say anything as he lifted her up into his arms, sitting her on top of the counter top. 

    “We’re alone now. Ain’t no needin bein shy Kira girl.” Cheeks rosy, she sifted fingers through his hair.  He lifted her legs and wrapped them around his hips. 

    “W-what about Lily?”

    “What about her?” He asked lowly, nipping her collarbone. 

    “She sure to be on her way back home now.” A sound of disapproval vibrated against her skin and he pressed his hands flat behind her. 

    “Guess you right.” Fingers slipping up his strong taunt biceps, she licked her bottom lip. He began to button her dress back up just in time too because Lily came into the house not a moment later. At the sight of them, she froze in her tracks. 

    “Looks like I’m interruptin somethin.” She teased, grinning wide. 

    “Only thing you gettin in the way of is that steak bein in my belly. Come on here girl bring the food here.” June Bug teased back, coming to grab the groceries from her. 

*** 

    The next day was the beginning of the nightmare. Had I been aware, had I been bold, I would have tried to prevent it from happening at all. 

*** 

    Feet approached the property, a thick brown liquid squirting into the grass from thin white lips. The Negro and Negress didn’t wake up early this mornin and he didn’t hear them rustlin in the field either. That was plenty odd. Up ahead, he saw one of the daughters, the dark one stand, the billowing white sheets on the line bringing her in and out of vision. He watched as she slowly slipped out of the dress she had on and stopped mid stride. Almost immediately, he felt a stirring in his groin.

     Picking up his feet, he almost eagerly kept forward, ready to see more of her. Unbeknownst to his wife, he’d watched her grow up with pleasure, delighting in the small budding breasts and hips that had grown round. He secretly preferred her to the high yella one and often nights fantasized about her. Maybe it was those damn grey eyes of hers but ever since she was young, he’d been bewitched. Her dark dusky skin and silky curly hair made his fingers itch on more than one occasion. 

    Quieting his steps, he caught the sight of a man twisting the wheel of their well and for a moment, soaked him up too. He was nicely built, tall and lean, muscle all over him. He watched as his biceps flexed, sweat covering them. His skin was a golden color and his hair was messy and wet, curling up slightly at the nape of his neck. His pretty little negress walked over to him and leaned down over him, wrapping arms around his neck, dark body glistening with sweat. He lifted his eyebrow at the view before the large white billowed, hiding them from sight. My my, what had he run into he wondered.

    The sound of water splashing caused his ears to perk up and he thanked Gawd when the white garment lifted almost completely. The girl stood drenched in water, drops of it falling off the smooth round cheeks of her ass. Licking his lips, he watched as the man knelt, taking a shiny little nipple into his mouth, hands soon coming to grab more than a handful of her derriere. The sweet moan that drifted up from her throat had him aching somethin terrible and he spit out the lump of tobacco, now dry along with the rest of his mouth. She lifted her hands and glided them down across the impressive expanse of the man’s  and fingered the button to his trousers. Soon the garment met his feet and he heard an audible gasp of surprise as she viewed the outline of the man’s arousal against his thigh. Close enough to see the blush that took over her cheeks, he watched as she slowly kneeled below him, fingers gently tracing the shape of him. 

*** 

    “Fronnie what does it say?” Gripping the book, she felt a wave of fury hit her in the chest. 

    “Somebody’s watchin them.” Tani’s eyes grew wide. 

    “What?”

    “Yeah. Whoever he is, he know Gam.” 

    “White man?”

    “I think so. I can’t see June Bug’s friends doin this.” 

    “Who you think it is?”

    “Ion know but I want him to stop.” 

    “Come on then, read!” Licking her lips, she began to read again and it made her skin crawl. It was strange but it almost felt like the man wrote this and not Gammy. The lens in which he viewed them was disgusting and not one detail was spared.

*** 

    Fingers slipped into his trousers and he pulled out his erect member, slowly starting to stroke it. For the life of him he couldn’t remember her name but at the moment it didn’t matter. She admired the man’s quite obvious well endowment and just for a moment even he was in complete awe. It was a thick healthy lookin cock if he ever saw one, engorged with so much blood it looked threatening. Thick veins covered him like rope and he donned an ideal pair of balls, round and heavy. Watching her full lips spread across the perfectly shaped mushroom head, he felt an intense jealousy stab him in the gut, making him pause his hand. Now that they were facing him, he got a good look at the man’s face. To his relief, he wasn’t a white man. But he wasn’t a nigger either. It was clear he wasn’t even a half breed, a mulatto. What are you you big bastard? He found himself wondering. 

    Distracted by his thoughts, gentle sucking brought his attention back and his hand started up again. They were quite the mix-matched pair what with him being so big and tall and her bein such a petite little thing. It was clear she was inexperienced and perhaps this was her first taste of cock. But his negress certainly did her best, taking what she could into her mouth.  The man slid fingers into her hair, now down her back. He groaned loudly, head tilt back as she began to bob her head, moaning softly at the tightened fingers in her strands. He bit his lip to keep a groan from escaping as the gentle sucking grew obscenely wet and wanton, spittle starting to ooze down her chin. 

    “Mm you look so fuckin pretty like that Kira girl.” The man praised, licking his lips as she dipped again. Kira. That’s what her name was. Kira. Pretty she looked indeed. Seeing her act like a greedy little whore did somethin to him and he felt the burn of oncoming release hit him in his stomach.

    Panting, he watched as suddenly the man forced her to stop, grabbing hold of her throat. She grew still and lifted stormy grey eyes to his. 

    “Come here baby.” Blush still in her cheeks, she pulled her mouth off of him and slowly stood, welcoming the man’s hungry kiss. He lifted her up into his arms and the billow of white hid them from view, making him curse under his breath. 

*** 

    “Gawd, he makes me wanna throw up.” Tani said with her face twisted up. She shared the sentiment. Somethin that was supposed to be a beautiful moment between the two of them had turned into a perverted show, a display of lustful voyeurism. 

    “When will he go away?”

    “Ion know Tani. But this man deserves to have all of his teeth punched out.” 

    “Yeah…” 

    “How you holdin up? I know this bit is really graphic.”

    “Well you wordin it as nicely as you can given the material. You givin June Bug and Gam some decency.”

    “It wouldn’t be right unless I did.” 

    “I’m jus ready for the two of them to sail away to their own island and be away from everybody. I want them to be together and undisturbed.” Taking in the manuscript, she grew stiff. The words were sloppy and uneven, not like the neat proper handwriting of their Gam. The entry was loose leaf and seemed to be inserted separately from the journal itself.  So, she was right. Whoever this man was… he did write this. It made her sick to have to see them through his eyes, through his lens, in his voice. But the only way they’d move through this is if they continued on. Eager to get back to Gam’s voice, she opened her mouth and began to read. 

*** 

    Bodies writhed on the ground and dust stuck to her skin as they moved against each other. The man had been careful, slow and steady and once he slipped into that warm wet little cavern, she’d wrapped her arms around his neck and he’d lifted her up, letting her body adjust to his size and girth. Once she had, he pressed his body against hers and lifted her leg, keeping it firmly pressed against the firm toned cheeks of his ass. He greedily soaked up every preen, holler and scream that came from the girl and he wanted more. It excited him to know the quiet little girl could indeed get very loud when she wanted to. Panting louder, the first stream of seed left his body and spilled onto the grass.             

    Licking his lips raw, he watched as the man brought her to sit on his lap, choosing to sit in a chair by the billowing drying clothes. Body wet with sweat, she wrapped her arms around the man and kissed him, moving her hips against his slow and lazy. He hummed into her mouth and pushed the throbbing head of his trunk against her. She pushed down with her hips and slowly he disappeared inside of her. 

    “Oh fuck..” The bastard groaned, grabbing her cheeks tightly. She purred like a kitten the deeper he got and soon his balls nestled against her. He wasn’t aware that he was drooling but at the moment, he wasn’t giving a shit about it. All he cared about was that perfectly round ass that seemed to ripple and shake the more she moved on top of him. It was fascinating, how a woman’s backside could move like that and he briefly lamented when an image of his wife’s derriere came into his mind. It couldn’t compare to those beautiful black globes. She arched her back and rolled her eyes back as the man grabbed handfuls of her hair. 

    “Ride me like you mean it Kira. Don’t be shy.” She took direction really well and sounds of wet flesh overloaded his ears, making him grunt. 

    “That’s it baby. Make it yours.” He panted out, face contorted with pleasure. Her moans had become sweeter, louder and more lewd to his delight and he spurt into the grass a second time just as the wet slapping stopped. Their groans mixed well and they panted, holding tight to each other. 

    She lifted his face from in between her breasts and kissed him slow and sweet, speaking low against his mouth. 

    “I love you too.” He replied with another kiss,  dipping to kiss a breast. He turned and pressed his back against the side of the house, already filling up again. How greedy he’d become but he’d always been lucky. He couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this and sifted fingers through his salt and pepper hair. This was the closest he’d get to fucking the tempting little bitch and it pained him that he hadn’t taken her for real when he had the chance. He’d had plenty a opportunity and he’d let her slip through his fingers into the arms of a slanty eyed horse built motherfucker. Sure, he wasn’t that endowed but she never would have known a cock outside of his. He would have made sure of it. 

    Jealousy lit him up like a match and he turned his head to look at them again. They stood by the well, embracing and kissing one another. Glistening with her wet nectar, his manhood bobbed against her stomach. He leaned her back against the edge of the well. Taking her by the waist, he turned her around. 

    “Bend over sweetheart.” Biting her lips, she slowly bent over, making sure she held nice and tight to the massive wheel above her. Kneeling, he took hold of her cheeks and pressed loving kisses to them, the action making her mewl. Gripping a little tighter, he spread her open and pressed his face against her. When he had her womanhood dripping wetness down her thighs, he stood and lifted himself, teasing her opening. She moved back against him, silently begging him to enter. Lifting a hand, he gave her rump a solid smack, bringing a delightful new sound from her throat. Half pain. Half pleasure. His lips spread into a grin. She liked that. Liked it a whole lot

    “Be patient lil gal.” The man chastised, coming to tease her again. Her breath was labored and she groaned in frustration at the torturous game he was playing. The beautiful sound of pleasure mixed with pain came louder this time as the man gave her hide another solid smack, this time to the other cheek, lovingly caressing it afterwards. She bit her lips to shreds and tried to inhale normally. 

    Deciding he was done playing, he grabbed ahold of her hips and slowly began to ease his way into her warm welcoming little hole, forcing her to take every inch of him. The tantalizing little negress sobbed like a bitch in heat and crumbled as one of his hands took hold of her throat. His manhood wept at the sight and he licked his lips sloppily, slimy spittle coating them like a film. He was rougher with her this time and it pleased him to see it. A real man took his woman’s pussy and made it his. No questions asked. 

    In no time, her body trembled and shook, that delicious ass of hers recoiling back against him. A jolt of pleasure hit his toes watching her scream and holler for him. 

    “Oh gawd Chanjoon…” She wailed, gripping the wheel like her life depended on it. He leaned down and pressed kisses in the space in between her neck and shoulder. He held her flush as he pumped into her and she took a hand from the wheel, using it to slide up across his fingers on her throat. With his free hand, he slowly gripping her breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. A few hard thrusts and climax enraptured them like a tidal wave. The man took her mouth with a loud groan, hand leaving her throat to wrap around her body, holding her as if she might disappear.

    He bit his lip to keep from hollerin, a couple weak spurts of semen whizzing towards the ground. He wished he was the one filling her with seed, lamenting again at his lack of action when it came to his desire to have the girl. He listened to their joined panting and the sound of lips kissing and inhaled deeply through his nostrils. His little adventure had come to an end and in the midst of it all, he learned somethin new about Kira Burnett, the youngest daughter. Hastily pulling up his trousers, he chuckled to himself, slipped a new fresh piece of tobacco in his mouth and headed back the way he came. 

*** 

    God seems to have redeemed Joon and I because so many years later, I found out that Du Pont had died of a sick debilitating disease. Word has it that it turned his privates into a mess of white pus filled lesions. That night after he’d made his unwelcome arrival, June Bug and I had one of the biggest arguments I can recount. It was one that proved to shape the rest of our marriage and looking back on it now, I am glad we had it. Then, I couldn’t see that Joon wasn’t fighting against me. He wasn’t fighting against us. On the contrary, he fought tooth and nail for our right to exist. To love. And he remained passionate about it until the very end. 

*** 

    “What is your problem?”

    “Excuse me?” She gripped one of the chairs. 

    “You heard what I said Joon.” He got up slowly from his chair, having sat while she cleaned up the kitchen. and came towards her. 

    “I need a little bit more from you than what’s my problem.” 

    “You out here pickin fights with the wrong people! Wasn’t it enough that they did what they did to you? Do you want more?” She hissed, lifting her chin defiantly. 

    “If that’s what it takes then so be it.” His response did something to her and she shoved him. 

    “Admit it! Admit that it’s all about your damn ego! Some foolish inklin of male pride.”

    “If you don’t know how I am in all this time then I can’t do anything about it. You should know by now that I won’t let anything happen to you. I don’t give a fuck who it is. They won’t hurt you.” She felt angry tears come to her eyes and she slapped him. 

    “You think I enjoyed watchin you swing from the banister?! You think I wanted that?!” She raised her voice, pushing at his chest again. He grabbed her by the arms, tight enough to hurt. 

    “You don’t fucking get it do you?” He let go of her arms and backed her against the wall lifting his high above her, his intense gaze coming eye level to hers. 

    “I’ll be good and gawddamned if I see you hanging from a tree Kira.” 

    “Watch your mouth!”

    “You watch yours.” He shot back, face growing closer. She turned her head away from him, breath angry.

    “You still wanna be that safe lil girl who wants to stay in her place. But in case you haven’t fuckin noticed Kira, ain’t nothin about me safe. You always gonna be outta place with me for the rest of your life.” He grabbed her chin and made her look at him. 

    “When you gonna realize that the place you been forced into ain’t shit? When you gon realize what I’m tryna do?” She didn’t answer, just looked at him with angry eyes.

    “It ain’t ever been about you or me! It ain’t got a damn thing to do with color so stop fucking saying that. It’s about power and it’s about control. That’s it and that’s all.” 

    Damn him and damn her body for relinquishing complete control of itself as his lips kissed her jaw. He took a deep breath. 

    “I’m fuckin tired of this damn place. Tired of people tellin me what’s unnatural. How I should feel and who the fuck I should be in love with.” His voice was gentle like and his touch even more so. She felt more tears well up in her eyes at his now soft gaze, bottom lip trembling.

    “I love Georgia just as much as I hate her and right about now the hatred outweighing the love.” She sucked in a breath as he kissed the corner of her mouth. 

    “If I can’t have the freedom to decide my life then there’s no point in living it.” Sighing, the anger was leaving his breath and he took her lips in a full kiss, the feeling in her legs threatening to give out. 

    “Don’t you want the same baby? Don’t you want to be able to choose your life?” Everything in her screamed yes and she softly spoke the word against his mouth. 

    “Say it like you mean it.” Eyes filling with resolve, she lifted her chin and stood at her tallest. 

    “Yes. I do.” Letting go of her chin, he pulled away from her a little bit, coming to put his hands in his pockets. 

    “That’s my girl.” 

*** 

     Happiness was an emotion that didn’t last long. I have found that in my life it never does. It always seems to be fleeting. Sporadic and unpredictable. Good for here and gone the next. But, it was something with him I felt all the time. It never waned or died out. It was a consistent constant thing and I knew I’d have either fight to keep it or lose it in sacrifice. 

    He sat down in the chair at the dining table and lit a cigarette and soon I followed, kneeling beneath him. Quietly I took off his shoes, his words spinning around in my head. Quietly massaged his feet. When I lifted, he pulled me to sit his lap and for a while, he just held me, occasionally kissing my neck and shoulder. Wiped the sweat from my brow. That was the beginning of the shift in our lives and everything that happened had led up to this point.

*** 

    “Ma…Pa…” The two looked up to find Joon shifting his feet, jaw tight. 

    “What’s wrong baby?” Her mother asked, starting to look worried. 

    “No ma’am… nothin’s wrong. I wanted to talk to y’all about somethin. Somethin Kira and I been discussin.” 

    “Sit down son.” Obliging, he took a breath. 

    “Kira and I want to move to Chicago.” Blunt and straightforward, he got right to the point. Just the way James Burnett Sr. liked. The two of them looked at each other for a while and when they glanced at him again, they found Kira lingering off by the door. 

    “Why Chicago?” James asked, taking a sip of his morning cuppa joe. 

    “It’s where Kira and I got married first of all. And they don’t have Jim Crow laws like they do down here.” 

    “Ah.” 

    “Kira and I’ll have a better chance at life and right now, my top priority is making sure she’s safe.”

    “But what about you June Bug?” Her mama asked, reaching for his hand. 

    “Don’t have so lil regard for yo life either. Kira need you jus as much as you need her.” Taking the woman’s hand and pressing a kiss to it, he smiled some, eyes gentle. 

    “My life is hers to have and to destroy. She should be allowed to decide what she wants to do with it Ma.” Nodding with teary eyes, she squeezed his hand. 

    “I’ve brought enough trouble in this house and I won’t have any more of it.”

    “It’s not your fault.”

    “Don’t matter. It’s bad enough that bastard has ties to the Klan. More than that, he pickin on y’all because a me and I won’t let it get any worse. Y’all don’t deserve it.” To that they could not argue and James sighed heavily. 

    “Chanjoon.” Lifting his eyes, he met her father’s gaze strongly. 

    “Yessuh.”

    “You do whatever you think is best for my baby girl. If Chicago is the place then so be it.” 

    “Yessuh. Thank you suh.” He took his other hand and gave it a firm squeeze. 

*** 

    In November of Nineteen Hundred and Thirty Eight, Joon and I packed up what little belongings we had and said goodbye to the life we’d always known. The place we’d always known. I hugged my mother and cried harder than I’d ever cried before and she held me the way she used to when I was little. 

    “My sweet sweet baby. Darlin girl.” She rocked me and I sniffed as we separated. Lily came to hug me next and the tears of sisters ensued. I promised her that I wasn’t gonna be no stranger and neither should she. I told her that at any moment should she decide she wanted a chance, she would always be welcome to stay with June Bug and I. He swallowed her in a hug and she sobbed against his chest like a baby, somethin Lilian Burnett never did. He kissed her temple and told her to stop, told her she was ugly when she cried. Last but not least…Papa. He was firm and didn’t show much outward emotion but his eyes said everything. His worry. His love. His sadness. I didn’t speak as I approached him, just let his arms cover me. I held him for the longest and when we part, he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

     Joon was surrounded by his parents’ love and arms and he quieted his weeping mother with kisses. His father clapped his back and held on tight to him before taking hold of his cheeks. 

    “Be good my boy. Be safe.” 

    “I will Pa.” The taxi driver gingerly announced that it was time to go and I gave them all a brave albeit watery smile before taking Joon’s hand. The taxi put both of our trunks in and we slipped inside. I watched my childhood home fade from view and only when we were far enough away did I start to cry.