Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Kiss and Telltale
Good story, very entertaining. I like both character, they are very interesting. I only wished we got a more balanced view of both. As it is we only hear Diya's voice and hers is getting more and more annoying.
The whole jealous, terrotorial girlfriend routine is getting old like yesterday. I don't even care if Marisol is in love with Brandon or not : that woman has known him half of his life, and it looks like they have been helpful good friends. I can't even begin to comprehend how Diya can behave ghe way she does, all jealous and shit, when they haven't even been dating for 2 month, and while he has introduced her to his family and friends, and talked about her to his collegues she still treats him as somekind of dirty secret.
I also hope that she could dial down how hot she is for her boyfriend, how wet she is when they make out if she want to keep with her 2 month abstinence thing. Like, she has every right to not have sex with him if she doesn't feel like she is "ready". But then I'd rather her spare us the details on how much she in fact want it, how wet she is for him, etc., which only makes her look like a masochist. I understand that she is holding onto that dead line because she is falling in love with him and fear to lose herself .... or something like that. But after yet another almost hot sex scene, I am just getting frustrated and feel no sympathy for her. Especially when she then behaved like a jealous clingy woman...
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, RedHobo. After reading it, I had to go back and skim to make sure I didn't forget something. It's been a month of Sundays since I wrote most of the chapters and I'm old, the latter being why I'm responding now, while it's fresh.
I'm not gonna write a dissertation revisiting plot points in defense of Diya's feelings toward Marisol because I don't think isn't necessary. What you call jealousy, I call justifiable concern. Diya has her suspicions and is, at times insecure, but has been pretty damn accommodating when it comes to Brandon and Marisol's friendship, forfeiting his time and attention to Marisol and her girls on multiple occasions and denying how she feels about it to save Brandon the trouble and guilt of choosing. That reads neither clingy nor territorial from this side of the screen.
As for the limited, "annoying" POV, and Diya treating Brandon like a "dirty secret" and reflecting on her desire for him, it is what it is. Diya's will remain the only POV. Reasonable or no, she has her reasons for not telling her family about him. And the almost sex scenes and wet crotch conversation are in keeping with the plot and characterization, and are, therefore, here to stay (and not all that plentiful, by the by). Diya committed to abstaining from sex, not from wanting it.
Reviewer: RedHobo Signed 
Date: January 03 2016
